"Meant for me"

"Decieved"

In all the midst of mother and I arguing about my future,she had mentioned that we we're planning on going into the village for a little bit of fresh air and to do some browsing,not my favorite thing to do ,but I guess it might help take my mind off of thing's for a while ' she said we'll have fun my darling just you and I ,I was not amused' didn't hardly ever go outside of home much , never wanted to , I'm perfectly fine where I was , just being around all of those people had made me feel uncomfortable, looking at me with there judging eyes,I couldn't help the fact that I had been born privileged" I knew just by the smirks & the faces they had made ,I was no better than everyone else ' I sympathize with them , seeing homeless children & begging for food " where was there family? Had they not cared or loved them at all? It was dreadful to see ,my heart went out to them ' maybe I could do something about it? Ruby ,I was so distracted that I almost didn't hear my mother talking to me" are you listening to me child? Sorry mother what did you say? What is wrong with you she replied' nothing, nothing at all ,my mind raced with thoughts of helping those poor children..I suppose I could , hmmm? I could take up some kind of collection for them ? Yes I shall do so"

Now Ruby darling do you see anything that might interest you ? Any kind of fruit , meat's or breads?    My response to her had not been pleasant at all ,I wasn't worried too much about anything at the moment,
 
      All I could do was think of him ,the craving for him filled my body ,I trembled with pleasure, imagining that night at my masquerade birthday ball,his touch sent shivers down my spine,I could still feel him inside me ! His manly scent all over me,his green eyes looking right through my soul,I felt him all around me,his kisses we're so soft & but passionate all at the same time ! I moaned underneath my breath,I couldn't get Killian out of my mind ! What has he done to me!!! Why why.... has he not come to me at all? This craving ,this...this feeling for him wasn't subsiding at all I couldn't take it  anymore! I begged for him ,I yurned for him ! That's all I could do ! I prayed every night & begged for him

I couldn't get him out of my thoughts & my heart " I would give my soul just to have another night with him, he has meant that much to me ,a perfect stranger whom I was obsessing over ,how could this type of feeling consume someone so much? Not understanding, this was not who I was " lost in my own world I almost forgot that I had been in the village with my mother,I looked up and a certain type of pub or something had stood out from everything else,I wasn't quite sure about it,so being a curious person that I was ,I mentioned to mother that I wanted to look at something that had caught my eye " it's practically dark Ruby are you sure u want to wonder off just because something caught your attention? She had been very stern in her question, but I payed no mind to her ,I wanted to! So i did ,not knowing what could be in store for me through those pub doors,my heart pounded like thunder ,I had to catch my breath for a moment ' I didn't understand why I was feeling the way I was ,it had just been a pub ,a place where everyone had gathered to drink & whatever else they had done inside,I pushed open the door ,my heart wouldn't stop pounding, what had been making me feel this way? I felt jittery & clammy all at the same time as if I was expecting someone to be waiting for me on the other side,This made no sense !suddenly I felt a slight dizziness! It felt like it had taken a lifetime to just enter inside the pub ,as I had stepped in slowly smelling the stench of smoke & alcohol, it had filled my nose with staleness, making me feel more disgusted for even coming here " what was I thinking, silence filled the room as I started walking through the pub, people staring as if they've never seen a young woman before, there judging eyes upon me ,thinking that I had been too good to possibly be here" get out i heard someone say not too loud but loud enough to where i could hear there smirks, finally walking to the back I had seen 3 beautiful young ladies that obviously didn't belong here just as much as I didn't, they were so beautiful, mesmerizing if you will' the first one had black long straight hair perfectly caressing every move she had made as if it wanted to be one with her ,her dress was blue velvet & frilly fitted to her body ,as if it were made just for her,the second woman blonde & blue eyes her white silky gown flowed with her body movements, her breasts shifted with her but seemed to stay in place ,but they were perfect, so perfect I was jealous so creamy & plump " I was very observant ' the third woman had bright red fiery hair & green eyes,they were eyes like his" i knew this because he had enchanted me with them ,her dress was red silk making her stand out more than the other two ,but the one thing they had in common was there skin was the same ,creamy milky white,looking so fragile as if you were to touch it they would break like porcelain " I wanted to know who they were " wanting to be them ,I heard them slightly moaning & kissing all over a man whom I could not see,I needed to know who he was also? Walking slowly over to where they were, as soon as I made it to there table ,they noticed me right away ,stopping so suddenly what they had been doing, instead of seeing them all I had seen was him! KILLIAN!!! I wanted to just die & faint all at the same time!! My life had been turned upside down within second's, what have I done to myself, tears started running down my cheeks ,I hadn't even bothered to try & wipe them ' I could feel my face getting hot ,I had been played for a fool ! DAM YOU! I had yelled it just came out of nowhere, not caring about anyone else that was in there " I felt so much from just that one moment, it had consumed me....I tried to move but all I could do was stand there & look at his face ,he had been stunned to see me there in his presence ' the three women just sat there in silence like he was doing! YOU COWARD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!

           EVERYTHING!!! had been a LIE!! you told me I was the only one ,you told me that you loved me!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!! I given you something that meant the world to me,and in one moment you ......you BASTARD! You threw it all away" and for what? KILLIAN you hurt me down to my soul,do you even feel any remorse? I've waited on you to come back to me ,spent my nights crying myself to sleep " not wanting to even get out of bed, or to eat ' I haven't the strength to do nothing but worry and think about you!!! Slamming my fists on the table ,everything jostling around landing on the floor ,glass shattering " what could I have done to make him see that he has hurt me to no extent!