𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐔𝐩 ✧ 𝐑𝐃𝐑𝟐

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

Audrey looked out at the campfire a fair distance away from where she sat outside her tent, a book in her hand. She noticed Bill, Lenny, Hosea and Charles all gathered by the fire. They seemed to be enjoying the quiet and peaceful movements of the flames. She found herself finding her feet and placing the book on the chair she sat on. Audrey approached the men, as she arrived at the fire she rubbed her hands together, warming her palms above the flames.

"Hello, Miss," Lenny greeted cheerfully. They all knew she was still shaken up over the past events that have occurred recently but they tried their best to make her feel comfortable. With everyday she did find herself becoming more comfortable around these people. 

"Do you mind if I say a few words?" Audrey asked them all. "I need to get things off my chest. You don't need to say anything," Audrey explained, her eyes scanning around at them all. None of them said a word, so she assumed they were fine with it. Audrey sat down on the log beside Hosea, the old man giving her a warm grin. "I never thought I'd be here. Living amongst people who kill people... no offence," Audrey quickly looked around at them. They all didn't seem bothered so she continued. "I never thought my parents would die so soon in my life, and so... brutally. I never thought I would've been locked in a cabin and I never thought I would kill someone," she looked down at her hands that rested in her lap with guilt. "My life was in danger, I did what I thought would protect me and my friends," she looked across at Bill who gave her a simple nod. "But I feel guilty. I'm not one for killing and it makes me sick to think that I killed someone. I ended a life without hesitation. Is this who I've become? Because if so I don't know if that's what I want," Audrey sighed, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she stared hard into the fire. "Am I going to keep killing until the point where I don't feel any remorse for lives I've taken? My actions today scared myself and I'm afraid that I'm losing myself." Audrey's fingernails dug into her palms as she squeezed her hands shut. She released a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again, feeling refreshed. "I feel better speaking about it outloud. I don't expect any of you boys to say anything and I hope you don't because I don't feel like talking," she rose to her feet, giving them all a final look. "Thank you for your time," she thanked them before heading back to her tent. She could hear murmurs being shared around the fire, she knew it was their concerns about her. 

"Excuse me," Audrey cleared her throat the following morning as she stared at the blonde woman who sat on a large rock. The woman looked up at her from under her large-brimmed hat. Sadie's eyes were heavy with exhaustion, hinting the woman's lack of sleep. 

"What do you want?" Sadie grunted harshly. Audrey held her hands in front of her, trying her hardest to not show her fear of the woman. Sadie scared her, she is a woman driven by grief and she knew she was capable of things from her anger. "Well?"

"Oh, right," Audrey's mouth felt dry from anxiousness. "I just want to know if things with us are okay. I... I'm really sorry about your loss-"

"Don't-" Sadie caught herself as her voice rose. She paused, looking at Audrey before her harsh eyes softened. "Don't give me your sympathy. Please," Sadie's voice lowered once again, her sudden anger calming down. "Was it true about what Colm did?" She asked. Audrey didn't know exactly what she was referring to. She knew that everything Sadie knew about what Colm has done to her was true though. She nodded, the woman looking away as she became lost for words. "I'm sorry for you loss too," Sadie nodded at her. Audrey gave her a small smile before squeezing onto the rock beside her. Sadie moved over slightly, giving her more room. "I'm also sorry about what I said to you. I didn't know better."

"You're grieving. You're hurt. I get it," Audrey comforted, giving the woman another small smile. She placed a hand on Sadie's shoulder. "I know we started off on the wrong foot but if you ever need to speak to anyone about anything just know I'm here," Audrey offered her ears. Sadie looked at her in surprise, probably confused to why this woman was being so kind to her after her harsh words the other day. 

"I... thank you," Sadie thanked her, she was lost for words. Audrey smiled, opening her arms to her and offering a comforting hug. Surprisingly, Sadie accepted the offer, the two women sharing a hug. Audrey rose to her feet, giving Sadie some space as she headed off. She frowned as she spotted Mary-Beth dismounting a horse in excitement before rushing towards Dutch's tent, a flyer in her hand.

"Dutch! Dutch!" Mary-Beth shouted in excitement. Audrey approached the scene, curious about what her friend had found. She had the brightest smile as Dutch stared at her like she was crazy.

"What is it, Mary-Beth?" He asked, frowning as his eyes met the flyer. Mary-Beth noticed his gaze and immediately handed it to him, her smile not breaking for a moment. 

"A dance in Valentine! A real dance! Dutch, please let us go! It would be so amazing!" Mary-Beth pleaded before her eyes filled with love and excitement. "I can imagine it! The sweet smells of fruit and wines, the beautiful clothes... oh Dutch! It would be like from a fairytale!" Mary-Beth's eyes met Audrey, the dance catching her interest. She grabbed Audrey's hand in excitement, staring into the woman's eyes. "Please tell him it's a good idea!" Mary-Beth begged her. Audrey laughed, footsteps approaching from behind.

"It does sound fun, Dutch," Hosea's voice announced his arrival. Dutch looked up from the flyer at his closest friend. "I think we need it after being stuck up in the snow for so long. It would do the women good, Mary-Beth could even pick-pocket a few folks," Hosea suggested with a smile at the woman. Mary-Beth beamed with excitement, nodding happily. "Could do Abigail some good with getting away from the camp for a while. The rest of us can look after Jack while she gets some time away," Hosea suggested. Audrey had noticed how tense Abigail was from looking after Jack. This wasn't the life for a kid and Abigail knew that. Abigail needed one night of fun. Dutch looked at the three of them before a smile cracked his harsh face.

"Why not?" Dutch grinned, an excited squeal escaping from Mary-Beth. She quickly took the flyer from Dutch's hands and hurried off, looking over her shoulder.

"Thank you!" She thanked him before hurrying off again, heading towards where Karen and Till sat to go tell them the news. 

"When is it exactly?" Hosea asked. Dutch looked at the man.

"Tomorrow night at Smithfield's Saloon," Dutch informed. He chuckled as he looked over at Mary-Beth who was bouncing with excitement as she explained to Karen and Tilly what she had found. "I don't know if it'll be as fancy as what Mary-Beth hopes though."

"Well, we can always scan the place first, see what we're working with," Hosea suggested with a nod. "If we're going to pick pocket we need to know what sort of folks we'll be robbing."

"No one will force you, Miss. Don't you worry," Dutch informed Audrey, Audrey giving him a thankful look. "You're right. You can take some men to check it out if you wish," Dutch turned back to his friend, giving him a nod of approval. Hosea nodded, noting that it will be something he will look into. "I'll find out who will be interested in attending. You wish to go, Audrey?" Dutch asked her. Audrey nodded, it might clear her head over her parents passing. Plus, she use to attend a lot of dances when she lived in Saint Denis. Dutch smiled gratefully before heading off to get numbers while Hosea headed over to John, most likely going to take him with him. For the first time in a while Audrey felt some hope in her gut, hope that the dance would give her the relief she needed.