Now im living

22. Frustration, Love and forgiveness

Spov

i've been here for a few months and it's getting pretty annoying. having family members here and even worse they're actually crazy people. everyone has been warning me about sara one of cari's cousins and also the sister of the one who we you know.. i don't even want to say it. it makes me feel terrible i know that everyone here wouldn't care but i do. ever since i saw everyone, i talk to my dad and cam to try to keep me more sane. well not that much they're dead but yeah. cammie tells me everything that's going on with sam i can see like through her and i know sam does that too, she's smart. she turned five yesterday, but she seems older. she knows everything that's happening around. it might seem weird but she's like matilda from the movie. as i said i'm going crazy and even more cuz i got sentenced for over twenty years.. you know how hard it is. i won't be living a normal life. everything i've worked for is ruined for me everything is going to be in casey's hands, but that doesn't matter. My daughter.. i won't see her grow. i won't be for her. it's even worse now, cammie just passed away, she sees her but it's not the same. Now i'm here and i just wish the best of luck to stevie and ally.

We're at the prison yard is it weird that i adapted faster than i thought and it's only been a few months. i think i identified the fletcher cuz there's this one who never looks away from me and everyone is right she has some looks. "you know your staring right." mari tells me. "well she started and i can say she is hot." "control your hormones woman. and don't go near her or you head will end off of your body." i look at her and see she's talking serious. what is it that everywhere i go i'm in trouble. "i don't wanna say anything but fletcher's coming." kathy another cousin announces "i look at sarah and indeed she was coming our way. everyone moves away but i stay there like nothing. she sits next to me not saying a word until i say the stupidest thing i could ever say. " are you gonna kill me like everyone says you will or are you gonna come to my bed." i mentally facepalm. "i thought you were better than that." "what you thought i wouldn't have killed your brothers." "besides that, i thought you would be a better flirt." "well i got your cousin to sleep with me." "you just want to provoke me don't you." " i prefer you killing me than your uncle doing it for something that doesn't involve him." "i never like him anyways i don't know why he was doing this in the first place." "cuz of my dad." "o true your jim's daughter." i nod. "what did your family say about you dating cari." "they freaked. but it's my life i can do whatever i want." "and now." " she's somewhere i don't really care with my kid." "sam?" "no and how do you know her name." "her name is everywhere cuz you lost your daughter and what other that i haven't heard of." "first of all carl took her and it was most likely your idea and second you wouldn't care." " true but i wanna know what's going on too." i sigh and stand up. "cari is having my kid." i say walking away. "you think that bob is going to let that thing live." "do you think i don't know. i have everything sorted out." "and how exactly are you gonna do something from here." "watch and see."

--------- One year later---------

Sampov

i'm kinda sad that mommy wasn't here for my birthday again but she's still in prison. mom doesn't let me see her cuz she says that mommy doesn't want me too. but no one tells me about her. i sometimes get scared that something happened to her but i don't think she's dead cuz i haven't seen her. i don't dream that much anymore so i don't really know what's gonna happen but if it was important it would come to me. i'm at school we're in recess but like always i'm just at the swings by myself everyone keeps their space. i have one friend but she is a troublemaker her name is joanna but i call her jo. she's running away from some kids that she took a ball from. i don't really care about what people say cuz they just say bad things about me. jo always helps me when they pick on me. that's why she is my best friend.