Curious

42

"W-what makes you say that?" she asks, her voice shaky.

"It's the way you look at him. There's something about the way you look at him. Juan may not see it, but I do." I make sure to keep my voice steady so that she knows I'm not intimidated by her or the fact that she could try and win over Juan now that I know.

She shakes her head. "I don't know where you're getting that crazy idea from." she crosses her arms over her chest and continues shaking her head.

I scoff. "I'm not planning on telling Juan. So you can just admit to it now. At least then I'll know why you've been such a bitch to me." I shrug.

She sighs. "You really won't tell Juan Luis about this?" she chews on her bottom lip nervously.

"Nope."

"Did I really make it that obvious?"

I nod.

"I would never try to take him away from you." she shakes her head frantically. "I've actually been trying to get over him ever since he started dating you. It's just that—well, I mean—nothings worked." shrugging, she begins chewing her perfectly manicured nails.

Because I don't know what else to say, I take another long drink of my coke. "Thanks for trying, I guess." I shrug, looking down. "Since when have you...felt this way about him?" it's too hard to say love. Since when have you been in love with my boyfriend?

She laughs, but not in a 'haha' way, she laughs in a 'my life is so pathetic' kind of way. "For as long as I can remember. Literally. I've known Juan since we were kids. He's just such a kind, good hearted, fun person to be around. It's impossible to not love him." she looks up at me and shrugs. "You know what I'm talking about."

I nod slowly. I do know what she's talking about. Everything she's said so far is completely true. "Yeah..."

"I mean, maybe I've gone through stages of being able to ignore what I felt. I've had boyfriends, they've sort of helped me forget about him. And then we break up and it's right back to Juan. Only stronger." her voice is shaky now. Like she's about to cry. I don't dare look her in the eyes for fear that she really will start crying.

"Why haven't you ever told him?"

"I've wanted to. I really have, but I know he doesn't feel the same way about me. I mean, when he looks at you, it looks as if his whole world is standing right before him. When he looks at me, it feels as if he's looking right at Manuela." she rolls her eyes in disgust and frustration. "Besides, I would never risk my friendship with him over some stupid crush."

"Crush?!" I ask wish wide eyes. "Daniella, this is not just some crush. You're in love with Juan. A crush is something you get over in a few weeks, not something you still can't get over after ten plus years of knowing somebody! You have to tell him in order for you to finally be able to move on from him."

"Sorry to ask, but why are you out of all people asking me to confess my love to Juan?" she asks with a confused look on her face.

I laugh lightly. "Because, Daniella—and I mean this in the least cocky way ever— Juan and I have been through so much BS in our relationship that I'm completely and totally confident in what we have now. I know he loves me and I know that I love him. He's not leaving me anytime soon and I most definitely do not plan on leaving him. I trust him. Juan's a big boy, he'll deal with the information that you give him in a mature way and he'll get over it. Once you have that off your chest, you'll feel so much better." I shrug.

She nods slowly and nervously. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. Do I-do I do it now?"

"I mean, if you want. I'll be taking a shower. You can do whatever feels best for you." awkwardly, I make my way over to her and give her a quick hug.