Broken (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 7

He's broken... like me. I don't know why but I feel the urge to cut but I can't. I'm going to school. The walk to school was slow for me. All I could think about was Matthew. I think I like him. But I don't think he likes me... but whatever right? No guys would want me anyways.

MATTS POV

I look at my wrists wanting to cut them really bad. I'm wearing bracelets so no one can see my scars. I really screwed up with Alex. She was the only one who understood what I was going through. She was the only one who knew how to react. But no.... I had to speak what I was thinking at that moment and say I felt awkward around her now. I really like her though.

But now she doesn't like me. And now I'm going to hell where I'm gonna get pushed around and all my friends are gonna say is "back off" or "stop" and not actually do anything helpful. I honestly did nothing for Jake and his buddies to push me around. I'm on the football team, I guess I look good, and I'm nice to everyone. What'd I do?
Nothing. And I was stupid to think that Alex would even like me anyways because she's too beautiful and good for me. She might be broken but she's way too good for me. She wouldn't want some depressed freak. My life sucks.

We arrive at school and I tense up and don't look at anyone. Im getting kind of jealous of how Cameron keeps putting his arm around Alex. But I know it means nothing because he always does that to girls. I'm basically the outsider of our group of friends. They care about me but don't really notice what I'm going through. I'm the last to get invited to something, never stood up for, pushed around, never talked to, not wanted.

We walk through the school doors and I plummet to the floor. I look up and it's Jake. "Jake, back o..." But I cut Taylor off. "Back off! That's all you're gonna say! That's all you guys have ever said is back off! You're not gonna do anything else! Just let him do this to me and here and there say back off well fuck you!" I get up and walk off pissed to the bathroom.

I lock myself in a stall and just drop and sit in the corner of the stall. I hate my life! I hate it! I kick the bathroom stall and a tear falls but I wipe it away. Fuck my life.

ALEXS POV

I just watched Matthew storm off. "Oooh... looks like pathetic boy really doesn't have true friends." Jake says laughing. I lose it. "Would you just shut the fuck up!?" I yell at him. His face drops and he's angry. "What the hell did you just say?" He asks pissed. "Back the fuck off! He did nothing to you! This isn't gonna get you anywhere so just back the fuck off!" I yell at him and he's taken aback.

Cameron and everyone is looking at me surprised. "How about you shut your big mouth." Jake says. "How about you go fuck yourself." I reply and he's now pissed. "You better watch it princess because now he's gonna get it worse. How about you come watch football practice after school today cause it sure will be entertaining." He says then shoves passed me. Shit... what's he gonna do at foot ball practice to Matthew?

I look at Taylor and my other friends. "And you guys... why the hell have you never stood up for Matthew? All you've ever said was back off." I say to them and I can see the guilt and sadness on their faces. "We feel horrible."
Cameron says. "Yeah well you should." I say and storm off. Matthew went into the bathroom so I can't go in and help him.

The bell rings so everyone piles into the halls and we go to our lockers. Matthew isn't coming I guess. I grab my stuff and head to first hour but before I can Brittany shoves me hard making me slam into the lockers and drop my stuff. "Bitch I told you to stay away from Matthew." She says pissed. "I did asshole. I just stood up for him. And you can back the hell off because you're not even dating him." I say angry.

"What makes you think that?" She asks. "Because I've been told that you weren't and the fact that you're a slutty bitch and he's not even close to your low level." I say and walk passed her. I walk into first period and sit down. Taylor walks in and sits by me but I'm still pretty pissed so he doesn't say anything. Jake and his buddies walk into class and Jake sits in front of me again.

He turns and faces me. And he winks. I just roll my eyes. "Back off." I say and he chuckles. "Just what Matthew hated to hear out of his friends mouths." He says and turns the other way again. I see Taylor look at me in the corner of my eye but I just tighten my jaw and look at the teacher. Just one more week of school Alex. One more week until summer.

In the middle of class Matthew quietly walks in and all eyes are on him. He looks like nothing ever happened. "Mr.Espinosa you are late." The teacher says. "Yeah I've noticed." He says making the class laugh. But not me. He's not acting like himself at all. He walks to the back and sits by me.

"Hey are you ok?" I whisper to him. "And why do you care?" He asks in a mean way. I just look taken aback. I stood up for him and was a friend towards him and this is how he's gonna treat me? "What the hell did I do?" I whisper ask him. He just shrugs his shoulders and looks at the teacher. I want to punch him. I want to punch everyone. I just hold in my tears and anger through out class.

When it's over I walk out of class with Matthew behind me and hit the floor once again. My stuff spreads out across the floor and I slide into the lockers. When I look up I see it was Brittany... again. Why the fuck does she always shove me to the ground!? I look up and all Matthew does is look at me and doesn't even help. He turns toward Brittany. "Back off." He says motionless and quietly then walks away.

What the fuck! I stood up for him! This is how he's gonna be? I didn't do anything to him! That was Taylor and them but not me! Jake and his buddies all oooh and laugh after what Matthew said towards Brittany. I get up and grab my stuff. I walk out of school and Cameron just happens to be out there. I try not to make eye contact with him but that doesn't work.

"Alex!" He yells after me. He catches up. "Where you goin?" He asks. "Home" I say and keep walking. "Why? What happened?" He asks. "Stuff now just leave me alone." And that's when I run away and make it home without Cameron following me.

I'm gonna hang out with my real friends today... my blades.