The Words I Never Said [editing]

0.0 [part one]

[4 YEARS AGO]

[danielle]

I knock on my father's door, a soft sound coming from the contact of my knuckle against wood. Hanging below the little window that is allowing me to see my father, is a clipboard with all of his information: full name, date of birth, condition, et cetera. My mother, younger sister Jessie, and I walk inside and stand beside his bed. My father looks up at us and smiles, "I've missed you all so much."

We each take turns hugging his weak frame and kissing his pale cheek.

"We've missed you too, Dad," I say, "We're all very sorry we couldn't come and see you more often, but we've been busy with work and school-"

"It's fine. I understand," he says weakly.

A few years ago, my father wasn't in this sort of state. He was basically the definition of health. He worked out a couple days out of the week, didn't smoke or drink, and would refuse to eat anything associated with the word "candy".

It was only when his neck started swelling, that we took him to the hospital. Only a short time later, we were informed he had stage 4 thyroid cancer. A few months after he was admitted into the hospital, the cancer had spread to his lungs. The doctor's gave him a year and a half to live. That was one year ago.

"Dad! Guess what I did at school today?" Jessie exclaims.

"What darling?" he asks, his voice soft and weak.

"We had to write about our role model or who we looked up to, and I wrote about you!"

"That's great Jess! Did you get an A?"

"Sure did!" Jessie smiles, her little white baby teeth brightening up the dismal room.

Father laughs quietly. "What did you do today, Dani?"

I try to recall everything that happened, but nothing seems to stand out.

"Nothing much. Just the same old, same old."

"What about your grades?" Father asks weakly.

"All A's!"

"That's great," he says, "Keep it up and you'll be excepted into a great college some day."

"I know, Dad, I know. I just want to make you and Mom proud."

You could feel the joy and contentment radiating from my parents.

"Hey girls, why don't you go to the cafeteria and get some food. I know you haven't eaten since lunch." Our mother hands us each a 10 dollar bill. "Run along now, your father and I have to talk in private."

I walk out the door, exiting the room. Once I'm out of the room, I hear Jessie say "I love you" to my father. I ignore the thought of going back in there. He must know I mean it too, right?

I head to the cafeteria, Jessie following suit, and we pay for an already made deli sandwich, bottle of water, and a bag of chips. The cashier puts everything in a bag, and we make our way back to Father's room-number 302.

I put my hand on the cold, metal knob, twisting it. The sight before me makes me stop dead in my tracks.

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edited. hope you enjoy.