dream in color, dress In black

5

Why do I fangirl do hard? I dont think its healthy.

My phone starts buzzing in my pocket and vic moves from my mouth to my neck. I pull out my phone and see its Oli. Please save me. "Hey," I say and Oli let's out a sigh of relief.

"Hey kellin, my mom's in the hospital can you come with me?" He says and I panic. Oh my god I'm so mean for ignoring him. Vic pulls away having heard him.

"I dont mind, want me to drive you?" Vic says super close to my face.

"I'm on my way give me an address," Oliver says. Vic takes my phone and tells him an address and hangs up. I'm about to ask why he hung up but he presses his lips against mine.

He grinds down on me and I gasp. His tongue goes into my mouth and I'm not sure how to stop him. I don't want this yet. "Your so fucking sexy," he says. He grinds on me and tears brim to my eyes but he cant see because he's licking my neck.

"S-stop," I panic and he stops and looks at me confused. When he sees I'm crying he looks surprised.

"Oh god you're not gay, I'm so sorry," he says and pulls away and gets off of me. The feeling of guilt and betrayal fills my mind. I'm ashamed of being gay, plus this is all to fast.

Anxiety rushes through my body and I'm shaking. The thought of having a breakdown makes me have an anxiety attack. "Please dont cry, I wasn't trying to hurt or violent you. I thought you were- shit I'm sorry," he says and I start to truly cry.

I can't stop myself from this breakdown. I cover my face and rush out of his room in the process snaking into someone.

Mike stands there shocked. He lookd at me then vic. "What did he do?" Mike growls making my anxiety worse. I literally run from my problems. When I open the front door I see its perfect timing. Oli's pulling into the driveway.

I quit running and walk to his passenger door. He looks at me when I get in but I'm too upset. Without looking at him I look out the window crying softly. "Should I go in there and beat the shit out of someone?" Oli says and I choke out a 'no'.

He starts driving and I the car is quiet except for my crying. "What happened?" He says. The way he said it makes me feel like I have to tell him. I look at him and he pulls into a store's parking lot. He looks at me and I look away.

I wipe my face but more tears fall. "I just.. I don't know," I say trying to calm down.

"Just breath kellin," Oli says. Oliver is a calming person to be around. The way he talks and interacts with me doesn't give me anxiety.

I take a few breaths while looking st my hands. "Who's house was that?" He asks me gently. His asking questions is better than me blubbering out what happened.

"Vic's, h-he a friend from school," I say wiping my face more. Crying in front of Oliver makes me feel embarrassed. I look at Oli again to see him looking nervous?

"Why are you crying?" He asks and I blush. I guess I owe him explanations if I'm going to make him pick me up from somebody's house after lying to him.saying I'm grounded. Oli is smart he knows I blew him off.

I bite my lip and wipe my last tears. "I had a panic attack.. but I'm okay now," I say and clear my throat. I'm finally calming down.

"You get anxiety? What caused it?" He says seeming surprised. He's my friend I should trust him.

I shrug a little. "He thought I was gay so he uh, did some stuff and it just freaked me out. That and his mom hugged me and I dont know.. physical contact isn't my thing," I say the truth.

Oliver nods and gives me a understanding look. "You're Asexual right?" He clarifies. I shrug. In middle school I claimed to be Asexual because I really dont want to be judged for liking guys. It stuck and I grew a fear of relationships. They will just end badly.

Everyone in my life has said dating is hard and always ends badly. Even my parents say that. He starts the car up again.

"So mister 'I'm grounded' want to go home or my house?" He says and I pout. I really dont want to go home. "Is Matty there?" I ask and he shakes his head 'no'.

"Yours," I say feeling better.

Whenever I hang out with Oliver its always amazing. We smoke, eat, and watch movies. Sometimes we listen to music and analyze it while high and its really fun.