dream in color, dress In black

12

What's your favorite kellic or koil?

After church vic drives us to his house. In his room we sit on his bed and play Mario kart. I'm actually going forward this time.

I squeal when I fall off the map. This game is hard. He puts down the controller after he wins and smiles at me. "You've gotten better," he says and I nod. It's not to much better but its progress.

"how about you sing for me," he says and I blush.

"Sing? Why?" I ask him with wide eyes. Why is he asking me to sing for him?

He grabs his acoustic guitar and looks at me expectantly. The look hes giving me makes me want to make him happy and sing. But I'm nervous.

"I heard you in church once and it sounds amazing, I want to hear it all alone and I real song," he says and I blush.

"What songs do you know?" I ask.

"All of these," he says handing me his phone that's on his music app.

I scroll through, he has good music taste. Once catches my eye. "Iris by the goo goo dolls," I say and he starts stumbling the right cords.

I start singing the song (sorry I'm to lazy to put in lyrics.. I'm confident everyone knows it by heart if not go look it up c;) when I'm done he's smiling like an idiot.

"You have an amazing voice," he says and I smile.

"I can beatbox too," I chirp happily. Thought the time I'm with vic it's way better than last time. We talked, played video games, sang, and goofed off with each other.

Now he's walking me to my front door. He hugs me and I hug back. He leans in and kisses me. I kiss back actually ready for it this time. He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

He's so hot...

"I'll text you later, bye," he says and leaves and I go inside of my house. My mom has wide eyes and something tells me she just saw that kiss.

"I- uh.. hi mom," I stutter out nervously. He gives me a weird smile and turns away and walks into the kitchen. Is she ashamed of me?

I follow her and sit on the table facing her. She glances at me and thinks. "Your gay?" She whispers. I swallow hard feeling guilty.

"Yea.. I'm sorry," I say upset. This a big reason I'm not out. Because I didn't want my parents to find out and hate me.

"Dont be sorry, be proud of who you are. But dont hide you relationship from me. Why was that boy? Have you been with Oli or Matty?" She says making me blush.

"Oli and matty are just friends, nobody knows I'm gay. Well except the boy, his name is vic and he goes to my church and in on of my classes," I tell her.

She looks to be thinking. Her hand is on her hip and the other is resting on her chin. "I'm not sure if you dad would be to happy to find out you're gay. I wont tell him but you gotta know I love and support you," she says ruffling my hair.

My dads really homophobic, I thought she was to because she doesn't tell my dad he's wrong for the saying the stuff he does.

"I love you too mom. I'm going upstairs," I say and leave her. I go into my room and go to find my notebook but realize it's at Oliver's house.

Oh my, it's been there for a while. He hasn't looked in it has he? I have personal lyrics in it and drawings. Most of the drawings are either dark are deep or of naked guys and girls. I even have a graphic picture of two guys fucking.

Oli is inspiration for a lot of the characters in it. They all have at least one thing in common with him. He has really gorgeous eyes.

-    (666 words)

When I see Oli in class I go up to him. The thought keeps slipping my mind. He smiles when he sees me. "Do you know were my sketchbook is?" I ask him. He might not even have it.

Honestly I don't remember exactly where I left it. Oli blushes- what? Oli doesn't blush. Oh my god he saw.

"Oh, yeah. It's in my room. You left it one of the times you came over," he says and I scratch my arm.

"I didn't know you could draw or that you wrote lyrics," he says and my face heats up. He looked in it. I let out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah um forgot what you saw in it," I say and he smirks and shakes his head 'no,'. What? No he won't forget?

"You draw guys real good,"  I pout. Is he making fun of me?

Vic rushes over to us grabs my hand and drags me away from Oli. I'm glad he saved me from that embarrassment. But upset he made me stop talking to Oli.

"What do you want?" I ask and he pulls me into the bathroom.

"You," he says connecting our lips.

Some reason I kiss back and we have a makeout session. In the boys bathroom, in school. When we pull apart I look at him. He kisses me one last time before leaving me. I look around confused. He didn't want to talk at all? Just kiss?

I wash my hands and the bell rings signaling I have five minutes to get to my fourth/last block.

I check in the mirror and then leave the bathroom. When I ended class Oli gives me a 'what did he want look' I shrug a little and sit in my seat. "Who was that?" He asks and I look at him.

"That's vic," I say knowing he doesn't know who he is.

"Is he the boy who made you cry?" He says sounding mad. I shrug, not wanting to say yes.

"I'm pretty sure he's the one I saw checking you out at the mall," he says and I blush and look at the British guy talking to me.

"Oh.. he is?" I ask trying not to be happy about it. Oli looks weirded out. He messes with his knuckles.

"So your hanging out with a boy that likes you.. are you just leading him on or do you like him?" He says quietly so people around us wont hear.

"I- um.. I'm not sure," I lie. I like vic and I'm giving him the chance to win my heart. I want him to prove to me that a relationship is something I want. I'm tired of being lonely and hung up on Oli.

I know oliver will never like me more than a friend so my next option is vic. He's nice, hot, and cool. I see no problem with giving him a chance.

"Okay, if he hurts you or does anything inappropriate tell me and I'll beat his scrawny ass," Oliver says and I giggle. He's so protective. I like that..