dream in color, dress In black

13

As me and Oliver are walking to his car I feel a slap to my ass and I gasp and turn around abruptly.  Oli looks at me confused and I look at Vic who jogging away.

"What?" Oli says not seeing vic. My face is red. I bite my lip and look at Oli.

"N-nothing," I lie and start walking again. He watches me skeptically and opens the car door for me. I get in and he makes sure I'm all in before closing my door for me.

On the way to my house I remember my sketchbook. "Can we go you you house for a little while to get my notebook?" I ask. I'm at Oliver's house so much but I like spending time with him.

He doesn't seem to mind and it keeps me out of my home sweet hole. "Yeah, if you do me a favor," he says and looks at me. I nod and he looks back to the road. "Sing me one of those songs in your notebook or answer some questions about a few of your drawings," he says and my face goes red.

"Fine," I mumble feeling embarrassed.

When we pull up to his house we go to his room and he grabs my book and opens it. I blush as he goes through it. "Are you going to sing or answer questions," he says looking through it.

"Which song?" I ask and he skips pages until he finds one.

"Its called kick me," he says and I shake my head. I'm not singing that song in front of him.

"The questions then," I say and he flips right to the picture of two guys fucking. I blush and Oli looks at it and then me.

"Who is this once based off of?" He asks pointing to the guy I drew who's pressed against a table taking it from the back. He's hand on wrapped around his dick and he's making a very sexual face.

He has long black hair like my own and I made his body shape like my own. Oli looks amused at my awkwardness. "Uh.. I dont know?" I say and he smiles goofily.

"Okay what about him? Who were you thinking about while drawing this," he says pointing at the other guy. The tall guy full of tattoos. My mouth opens to lie but then I see I drew his neck tattoo on the guy. This is obviously based of of Oli.

I look at him with wide eyes. He has an amused look across his face. "Um- i- I dont know.." I lie.

"Your not answering these questions right," he says. "Okay answer me this.. do you get off to this?" He says and I literally die. Okay that's a lie. But I feel like my soul escaped.

"I dont know?" I whisper blushing.

"Okay I'm going to make up my own answers because you keep saying 'I dont know'. I say this one looks like you, this one has my tattoos, and you do," he says and I take my notebook back.

"I'm not gay," I say and he laughs.

"Straight boys dont draw two guys fucking. Why wouldn't you just accept I know your secret and talk to me about it?" He says and I cover my face.

"I haven't told you because I dont want you to think I'm into you and make things awkward between us. Your my friend I dont want to lose our relationship by me being gay," I say with my book in front of my face.

"I dont care that your gay," he says and I look at him surprised.

"Really? Your not creeped out that you changed in front of me or sleeped in the same bed with me?" I ask and he chuckles.

"You dont watch me change, ever time I do change in front of you. You look away shyly. And we just sleep so it's not weird at all. Dont worry about it," he says looking like he means it.

"Did you read everything in here?" I ask pointing at my book. He shrugs.

"You have a lot of stuff so no but I'd like to see everything. Can I?" He asks. He already seen the worst picture.

"No your gonna make fun of me," I whine. I don't know why he hasn't so far. He smirks and shakes his head. He looks amused that I think that.

"Your art is really good, both the drawings and the lyrics. I would be a fool to make fun of it. Clearly you put a lot of work and thought into this," he says and I pout. Is he telling the truth? The expression on his face seems sincere.

I look through my notebook and glance at everything. "Fine but don't question me or judged me," I say giving him my notebook. He smiles, who's smile is better? Oliver Sykes or Vic Fuentes?

I shouldn't compare them. Oli is my best friend and vic is my crush. I lay his bed and cuddle with his blankets. This is a weird statement but I love how Oliver smells. His blankets smell like him.

I watch him flip through my book slowly. His bed is so comfortable I could fall asleep right now. But I dont want to.

"You're my bestfriend, thank you," I say quietly making him look at me. He nods a little and goes back to looking at my notebook.

"You dont need to thank me kellin. I enjoy your company," he says and I go quite. Does he really?

Dont I just drag people down? I probably am fucking up his life. He knows I cut.. he knows I'm gay.. he's probably ashamed of me.

"Explain this one," he says coming up to me. I look at the page he's on. It's one of my dark drawings/paintings.

"Theres two meanings to it.. it looks like planets and rips in space showing hell. But its also uh.." I look at him to see him looking really intrested.

"These purple orbs are feelings, urges or whatever. These are happiness," I point at the bright yellow things. "These red openings are after the ugde. It's the regret and sorrow," I say explaining what I was thinking when I was painting it.

He looks deep in thought.