dream in color, dress In black

21

I have a sort story called 'For Narnia!' And it says nobody has ever viewed it.. can you please check it out? If it's not on my profile tell me. It's a koli too

It's been a month with vic and things are the same. He's really sexual but that's not really a bad thing.

He doesn't care that I cut, he thinks I'm beautiful. We don't argue or anything. He didn't see why I haven't had sex with him even after I told him I'm never had sex before.

Losing my virginity is a big deal for me.  Vic is my first boyfriend, it's only been a month,  I just dont think we are at that stage. I dont mind all the blowjobs or handjobs that he asks for. He is really hot and he most of the time gets me off too.

Sometimes he likes to leave me throbbing just to watch me squirm. I've been a little more distant with Oli. Not to much but I haven't slept over in a month. He still drives me to school, talks to me in class, and friday we smoke and watch movies.

Its Saturday morning and I'm sitting in my bathroom with a razor blade in my hand. Vic doesn't care if I cut but Oli saw new cuts yesterday and he said if I feel like cutting call him..

I have his number pulled up but do I really want to call him? If I call him I'm not going to be able to cut. If I dont and he sees new cuts he'll be upset. My phone starts to slip out of my hand so I grab it before it hits the ground.

In the process accidentally hitting call. I put it to my ear to see if it's to late to hang up. "Hey kells," he says and I look at the razor blade.

"Hi Oli," I say not knowing what to say. We usually text not call.

"Do you want to come over?" He asks. I think he knows why I called. He's really good with knowing how to deal with stuff.

"Yeah," I mumble and play with the blade. Maybe I could cut before he gets here..

"Thanks for calling, I'll be there in five," he says and I hum in response. He hangs up and I put the razor in my pocket.

The feeling I'm going through is weird.. I feel like my life isnt as good as it should be. But that makes me feel selfish. My parents are constantly arguing and I keep hearing my name come out their lips. I haven't heard from my sister in a while. I never hear from my brother but I dont care about him that much.

My brother has been telling his college friends that I'm a psycho. My sister is probably mixed up in meth and all that to realize I'm stuck in this home sweet hole.

Vic is.. I dont know. It's not like how I expected? He's really hot and nice but I've been noticing things. He doesn't care about me like Oli. He doesn't make sure I'm safe by making me buckle up. He doesn't tell me not to cut. He cuts, and when I see fresh cuts on him it triggers me.

I dont know..

Tears start spilling as I hear my parents screaming at each other. My door opens and I see Oli.  My parents didn't stop once he came in? They usually stop barking at each other when people are over.

"That's disgusting! I'm your wife, you should jerk of with thoughts of me! Not- not- your perverted!" My mom screams and I cover my ears. I dont want to hear.

Oli closes the door behind him and comes up to me. He takes my hands away from my ears and puts his hands in place. I put my face in his chest and wrap my arms around him.

"Hey love, cheer up. Want to go now?" He says and I look at him with teary eyes. Why did he just call me love?

"Y-yea," I say and he lets go of me.

"Go put on warmer clothes, its cold," he says and I go to my closet. Oli always takes care of me.. vic doesn't.

My phone starts to ring. I clear my thoat and answer the unknown caller. "H-hello?" I ask the phone.

"Kellin? Its Tony," the voice that sounds to really be tony says. How did he get my number and why is he calling.

"What's up ton-y?" I say trying not to sound like I'm crying.

"I think vic is cheating on you.." I look at oli who Is messing with my makeup that's on my desk.

"With Danielle?" I whisper. More tears start spilling out of my eyes. Tony is really a good person. His actually became my friend.

"Yeah.." he says and I sob escapes my lips. He's been using me for his sexual pleasure.

"Kellin what's wrong?" Oli says as I drop my phone and bursts into tears.

My parents screaming isnt my biggest problem anymore. Oliver picks up my phone and puts it to his ear. "Who is this and why did you make kellin cry " oli growls to my phone.

I lean against my wall and shove my hands in my face. Now I just want to cut more. "Oh, thanks for telling him... yea... yeah. Bye," he says and hangs up.

I'm shaking and I feel like my world is crashing down on me. I really, really liked vic.. but he's been using me. Oli doesn't know how many times I've sucked vic's dick.. I wonder if he'll think I'm a slut.

I'm so dirty..