dream in color, dress In black

9

Do you ship kellic or koli more?

After school me and Oli walk to his car. Matty's riding with us so we have to wait for him. I get on the hood of his car.

He is standing in front of me pretty close so it blocks the sun from my view. Oli is wearing a baggy band tank top, ripped skinny jeans, and converse. That's okay for this heat.

What am I wearing? All black, heavy clothes, long socks, jacket, lots of bracelets that are now damp with my sweat. Oli doesn't seem to be too hot but I think I'm dying. I've passed  out from the heat a few times because I refuse to wear short sleeves or shorts.

"Its bloody hot out here," Oli says looking at my jacket. I run my hand through my hair and look at the school. Matty should hurry instead of making I wait in the heat. Sweaty, gross. I take my hand way from my hair.

"You look c-weird like that," oli says and I frown. I look weird? My hair is all out of my face due to my hair being pushed back. I dont want Sweaty hair on my forehead. That makes it seems like my hear is wet. Ew no it's not.

I brush my hair back to normal. "Its not a bad weird it just makes you look more like a girl," he says and I pout. A girl? He's always saying I'm girly.

"That is a bad weird," I grumble and lay back on the hood. Sun gets in my eyes and Oli gets closer to me to block out the sun.

I scoot a tiny bit to the edge so he can block the sun better.  "You're so tall," I comment. Oli smiles, I love his smile.

"You're so short," he comments back making me cross my arms and pout.

"Ew gayness," matty says making me sit up. What gayness?  I look at him to see he's looking at us.

"Am not," I shoot at him. Oli laughs at my childish behavior.

"Then why does oli have you on to of the hood?" I side off making Oli having to step away so I could leave.

"He was blocking the sun," I say and Oli  opens the door for me and goes to get in the driver's seat.

"How come you don't open my door for me?" Matty says in a teasing way. Oliver shoots him.a death glare. Hot- I mean uh...

Oli cranks up the car and points at my seatbelt. Ugh, sliding my seatbelt across me I see matty unbuckled. Oli dont seem to notes him.

Is matty accusing oli of being gay? He shouldn't, oli is straight. Everybody knows that. Oli drives to matty's house because he lives the closest to school. Once Matty says bye and goes home I look at Oli.

All girls love him and I hear a lot about his sex life from people. They never tell me of course but some of his hoes talk a lot about sex with him and I happen to hear it.

Oli's never caught real feeling for anyone before. It once came up in a conversation with him, matty, and me. He said he just likes to fuck hot chicks.

"So tomorrow morning you'll come over?" Oli asks. Tomorrow I'll have to be with Oli because he drives me to school and if my parents see that I dont get picked up for school I'll be in trouble.

"Yeah, we could do what we did last time?" I ask and he smiles and nods. Last time we when to McDonald's and then went to the movies and went and snuck into the movie rooms and watched 4 different movies before leaving.  It was so fun.

"Yeah, good bye kells," he says as he pulls up the my house. Everything is cleaned up from the yard and no yelling is heard.

"Bye Oliver," I say and go into my house. Nobody's here? Good, they are all annoying.

The coffee table bite my shin. Okay maybe I clumsily walked into it but anywho. The coffee table hurt my leg do I cuss and hold the part that I hurt. That coffee table hurts me all the time. I think its just never in my sight but always in my path.

I take a nap and then at 8pm I wake up by screaming. Looks like they finally got home. I haven't ate today but that's okay, I need to lose weight anyways.

Since my bathroom is a be quieter than my room I go into it. Why do they always have to argue? Tears start to form in my eyes. Fuck this emotional pain. I open my draw and grab a blade from it. This is bad, I know...

I get in my empty tub. Slowly I take off my jacket. I look at my pale forearms. Old and new scars and cuts litter them. I cut my wrists and thighs but I've been trying to keep it on my thighs. It's less likely for people to see my thighs. But my wrists bleed more and that's what i want.

I want to see the red liquid drain from me. The blade is cold in my hand. I should try to stop this addiction.. but why should I? It detracts me, people tell me to do it, and it's not too bad.

It's not like I'm going to kill myself. Maybe, I do want to sometimes, I just dont want to hurt Oli or matty. Suicide affects people, even if they weren't close to the person. That means people will be upset if I killed myself and I'm to nice and considerate to put someone through that.