World Tour

NY: talk

The next morning Eddy stretched out as he woke up, savouring Brett's warm embrace. He snuggled up to his man, enjoying this moment while it lasted. Because Eddy knew it was time to talk, and he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
They would meet their crew again soon. They would be shooting videos all day. Some decisions would have to be made before any of that happened.
He dreaded it though. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Brett feel insecure again, and he had no idea where to even begin. 

¨Hey!¨ Brett said suddenly, eyes now open. ¨What's up?¨
Eddy shook his head. ¨You always see right through me.¨
Brett shrugged. ¨I've known you for a long time. So tell me, what's up?¨

Eddy sighed and sat up, crossing his legs. Brett sat up too, looking at him like he was a cartoon character with question marks above his head. It would have been funny, had Eddy not been so scared of this talk. 

¨Right.¨ Eddy started. ¨We need to talk about what we'll do with our channel, how we'll portray ourselves. Are we going to come out to our fans, or are we going to stay tight lipped?¨
Brett shook his head slightly, smiling wryly.
¨You've been worried about talking to me about it?¨ he said, with his uncanny ability to read all of Eddy's emotions on his face, ¨I'm sorry my insecurities have made you worried...¨
¨Nah, don't worry! It's just... we kind of need to decide either way, before we see everyone and before we shoot.¨
¨Okay¨, Brett said. ¨Why don't you tell me how you would like to handle it?¨

Eddy had kind of hoped Brett would say what he wanted first, but he knew Brett, and he knew he wouldn't back down now. So he sighed again and spoke. 
¨Well. On the one hand I want the whole world to know you're mine. On the other hand: we've always kept our personal lives private on the channel, we've never confirmed nor denied anything. And that seems to work, right?¨
Brett nodded, looking at him intently.
¨So, that's why I'm wondering if perhaps we should do it that way. We just keep our private lives private, and we're out to the same people who have always known about our relationships before.¨
Eddy waited, breathless, looking at Brett's face for any signs of the insecurity. 

Brett was silent for a moment and then said: 
¨So, you're suggesting we don't say we're together, but we also don't say we're not?¨
¨Yeah,¨ Eddy answered. ¨I guess so. That way we're not dishonest, but we're also not changing the way the channel works. And to be honest, I don't know if I want the fans to look at that black couch in my studio, picturing what we did on that couch before the recording started.¨

Brett laughed out loud at that last comment, and Eddy felt a bit of relief. 
¨Well, that couch certainly offers new options now!¨ Brett said, still grinning. 
¨But I have to say, I think you have a good point. I agree with you that the way we are now seems to work for the channel, and if we are suddenly a couple that would change things. We do have to accept the risk though that we may at some point be outed. Same sex relationships unfortunately seem to be a lot more interesting than hetero ones...¨
¨I know¨. Eddy said. ¨And I wouldn't deny it either, if asked flatly. You're way too important.¨
Brett smiled. ¨So are you. So, this is what we're doing then? Out to our friends, keeping our personal lives personal for the world?¨

Eddy sighed deeply, full of relief. He felt muscles relaxing he didn't even know he'd tensed:  this hurdle seemed to have been taken without hurting the one who mattered to him most. 
¨Yeah. You feeling all good about that?¨
¨I am. Come here.¨
Brett pulled him into his arms, pulling him back down into the bed, and snuggled into him again. 
¨