World Tour

How it starts

It all started when they reacted to the Christian Li video. 

Eddy really struggled that day. He suffers from insecurity anyway, and he's always had moments when he's found himself a sub-par violinist. It doesn't matter how well he does, how successful he is, how many competitions he does well in: it's a feeling within himself, telling him he's simply not good enough. 

All of that came out that day. They were sat, best friends, side by side, as they always are. Making jokes, having fun. 

His best friend, who he knows inside and out. Who he's spent basically every day with for 15 years. They never get tired of being with each other. Brett's like his right leg. A part of him.

That day, there were watching a new prodigy, in the Menuhin competition. It really got to Eddy. The boy's playing was ridiculously awesome, and it made him feel so inadequate he could barely breathe. It stopped being funny and started being very real. As he was sat there watching this amazing ten-year-old, he lost it and sobbed once . He played it off as a joke, but he knew it would be visible to people who were really looking. That did not make him feel any better about himself. Seriously, he can't watch a video without crying?

Two minutes later he tried, as is their usual M.O., to play the passage Christian just played, while  Brett impersonated the dead pan page turner. He sounded crap. So completely and utterly crap. And just like that, he broke down. He put his bow down and scrunched his eyes shut, trying desperately not to descend into full blown wailing.

Brett said: ¨You've gotta keep going, I'm waiting for my time to shine¨.

Eddy choked back another sob. ¨Really having a moment here¨, he admitted with a voice that showed all the emotion within.
¨Reflecting my life¨.

A tear fell. Brett broke his dead pan stare and turned to Eddy with concern on his face. He knew full well how Eddy felt about himself sometimes. Tears were now rolling down Eddy's cheeks and he was sobbing in frustration. Brett quickly paused the camera and put his arm around his best friend.
¨Hey!¨ he said. ¨You're a very good violinist, a very talented YouTuber, and not to forget: an awesome friend¨. 

He stroked his back and waited for Eddy to calm down. 

Eddy leant into his arm and put his head on Brett's shoulder, letting the tears fall on his hoody. He was overwhelmed by sadness and frustration, but Brett's warm arms and soothing words helped. And that was when it happened. As Brett's hand stroked his back, suddenly he also felt something else. What a lovely way for Brett to comfort him.
Without warning, there was a spark in his belly. 

They carried on recording after a short while, the tears dried, the shot as similar to before as possible. No viewer would ever know what happened in the moments after the bleak voice. They made jokes and ended the video fine. 

But driving home Eddy was now more confused than ever. What the fuck was that? 

And as he lay in bed, his thoughts kept going back to the moment Brett had put his arm around him. How loving and warm it had been. How Brett had rubbed his back. How he had known exactly what to say to make him feel better. How he could feel his breath, lightly stroking his cheek as he soothed.

He felt a familiar tightening in his pyjama pants. What the actual fuck? He got out of bed and jumped under the shower, turning it as cold as he could bear. No way. No way was he going to touch himself, with those thoughts in his head. Brett was his best friend. You can't go thinking about your best friend that way! He stood there, under the freezing waterdrops, until the treacherous body part settled down.
One thing he knew for absolute certain: he could never let Brett know any of this. 

He got out of the shower and back into bed, but it took him hours to get to sleep.