World Tour

Canada, part 2

They walked back to the hotel in silence.
Eddy felt very scared they would be followed by the man. He kept looking over his shoulder and around him, skittish like a deer in hunting season, seeing a foe in every shadow. 
Brett had given him a few looks, but he hadn't said a word. Eddy guessed he was giving him space to bring it up himself. But he couldn't. Not only had the thing he'd been worried about all along happened, but more than that: he knew he'd been a coward. He hadn't stood up to the bully, he hadn't defended his man. They'd had just as much right as anyone else to be there, but he'd fled, like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He hung his head in the shame of it, and he felt a tear welling up in the corner of his eye. He swiped angrily at it. 

Mercifully, the hotel was close by, and as soon as the hotel door closed behind them Eddy locked it .He made doubly sure it was really locked, before starting to take off his clothes. He wanted a shower. He wanted to wash away all trace of that night. 

¨Eddy.¨ Brett's calm soothing voice came. ¨You're gonna have to talk to me, I can't help you if you don't.¨
¨You shouldn't have to fucking help me¨, Eddy spat through his teeth, much more vehemently than he wanted. ¨I should fucking well be able to solve some things myself!¨
He tried to carry on taking his clothes off, but he felt Brett's strong arms around him, pulling him into a hug, holding him tight. 
¨You can solve things yourself. But you don't have to¨, Brett said in his ear. ¨Talk to me.¨

That was it. The tears broke through, and he could feel the anger he'd been using to not feel anything ebbing away. 
He stood for a while, sobbing into Brett's shoulder. 
He knew he'd have to tell him, and he just hoped it wouldn't make Brett all insecure again. 
Eddy broke the hug, and just sunk down on the floor where he was, crossing his legs under him. 
Brett sat down opposite him without a word, and looked him in the eye. 
Eddy took a deep breath and talked.
¨It was a stupid stranger, Brett. A stupid homophobic guy, who told me 'disgusting gays, go somewhere else'. That's all. I'm just overreacting.¨
Brett was silent for a long moment, processing this. 
¨We knew this could happen¨, he said, finally. 
Eddy's tears started up again. ¨Brett... I... I'm so sorry¨, he managed. 
¨What the fuck are you sorry for?¨ Brett said, incredulously. 
It's always hardest to talk about the things you're ashamed about. 
Eddy swallowed hard before he continued, and when he did the words just fell out of his mouth,  crescendo e accelerando. 
¨I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I didn' t stand up to him. He was wrong, we weren't. I'm so sorry I didn't have your back. I should have been stronger, I should have done something.¨
¨What?!¨ Brett exclaimed, his voice raised. ¨You can't be serious!¨
Eddy looked at him in shock. Brett never raised his voice. 
¨Eddy! He attacked you, physically, and he threatened you. He was much much bigger than either of us. What were you going to do? Defend my fucking honour? Don't be insane!¨
Eddy's mouth fell open and his eyes widened. He'd never heard Brett talk like this before. 
¨You did the right thing, Eddy¨, Brett said, calmer now. ¨You absolutely did the right thing getting us both out of a dangerous situation. Okay? I just don't understand why you didn't tell me straight away!¨
Eddy sat, quietly, allowing the truth to softly fall out of him. ¨I didn't want you to feel insecure again...¨
Brett shook his head. 
¨That was only ever about you. It was never about what the world thought. What you think is all that matters to me.¨
He was quiet for a moment, and then added:
¨I'm sorry that my having been insecure made you feel like you couldn't tell me, Eddy. You should tell me everything. And if this ever happens again, we should instantly go to the bouncer and have the guy removed, okay?¨
Eddy looked at him. ¨Okay¨.
He grinned wryly.  ¨Can we please have a shower now?¨
Brett stood up without another word and extended his hand to pull Eddy up. Then he took off his shirt, kicked off his trousers, and walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on. 

Eddy quickly got undressed and then he slipped into the shower and into Brett's arms. 
They stood there for a while, just holding each other.
¨One more thing¨, Brett said suddenly, moving back a little bit to look at Eddy. ¨This was what you were worried about before, about how the world would see you. Are you okay?¨
Eddy thought for a second, the warm water flowing off his back and taking the bad feelings of the night with it. 
¨I am¨, he said, and he meant it. ¨I don't give a fuck what some stupid homophobe thinks. All the people that matter feel very differently than he did.¨

Almost all the people that matter, a small voice in the back of his head said, and he thought of his mum, and that he would almost see her again, and he sighed, before pulling Brett closer and burying himself in his warm embrace.