The Void

Chapter 29 - Christmas

(Your POV):
Christmas meant nothing. It never had any sort of significance. To me, it was merely a reason to have a vacation from school and typically allowed me to complete more missions and catch up on any work that I found myself falling behind on.

This Christmas was no different, not that I had any expectations that it would be. But ever since opening my heart to Peter, even just feeling compassion towards him like I had towards the beginning of the year, I started to want more than the loveless connection that my family had. I wanted to create traditions and do stupid things together. The only time that we were together was in discussion about missions or training, neither were very sentimental topics.

Because Christmas wasn't a holiday that was celebrated by my family, nor was any other holiday for that matter, my parents went into work for the day and I was left with an empty house. Depressed by the lack of festivities, I went out to the store, which was a terrible decision on account of the many people running to grab last minute ingredients for Christmas dinner, and picked up some food to make holiday cookies.

I ended up finding a recipe for thumbprint cookies online and decided to try my hand at baking them. I had never been much of a baker, only knowing how to cook in order to survive, but baking was unnecessary in my life. But after my night with the Parkers, I found the confidence attempt to do it myself.

Before even starting to bake, I began to play some Christmas music from the internet, hoping to bring me further into the festive spirit. Making sure to follow the recipe to the letter, I combined all of the ingredients, rolled the dough in sugar, made the indents, and then threw them in the oven. I had only made a minor mess of the kitchen and decided to clean up as the first tray of cookies were baking, proud of what I had so far accomplished.

The first tray ended up not as good as I was expecting, having overcooked them slightly, but after that I had learned my lesson and managed to get the next tray to be rather perfectly baked. I then threw the jam into the center and tried one of them, smiling at the taste. I had also never been one for sweets, having never had it as part of my diet growing up but I was discovering that I did have quite a sweet tooth.

However, now that my cookies were done I was left with that same empty feeling inside that not even eating a tray of cookies could fill. In the end, I decided to call Peter, praying that he wasn't too busy with his own celebrations to talk to me. I didn't understand why I was feeling so depressed, it was just a normal day in my house, but I just wanted to feel whatever everyone else seemed to be feeling.

Peter answered my FaceTime almost immediately, wearing one of his adorable and dorky smiles. I could tell almost immediately that he was wearing some sort of Christmas sweater that immediately caused me to giggle.

"Hey, (Y/N), what's up? And what are you laughing at?" Peter asked, already lifting my mood.

"That sweater looks ridiculous," I managed to get out as I tried to calm myself down.

"Excuse me! It wasn't my idea to wear this, May forced me into it," he complained, his cheeks tinged pink.

I smiled, "well make sure to send me a picture of you in it because I want this moment to last as long as possible."

"That's definitely a no, you are not immortalizing this moment."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to take a screenshot," I threatened, my fingers hovering over the buttons.

"You wouldn't dare," he gasped, mocking betrayal as he shifted the camera up so that the sweater was no longer in view.

I frowned, "but you look so cute."

"So, what did you call me about?" Peter asked, changing the subject from him.

"Oh, well, I guess I wanted to tell you merry Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas to you too, but there's still something more you want to say."

I sighed, "I think I just wanted to hear your voice."

"You ok? Where are your parents? Aren't you afraid that they'll find out about us?"

"They're at work."

"Oh," Peter replied, his face falling as he realized why I needed him. "(Y/N), I'm so sorry, if you want to come over, I'm sure May would be more than happy-"

"No, I don't want to interrupt your Christmas. Besides, we celebrated a bit this morning before they had to go and I'm sure we're going to have our Christmas dinner when they get back. I don't know why I'm so disappointed, I guess it's just because I thought they weren't going to be going in today and then they ended up getting called in anyway."

"You have every reason to feel the way you do, Christmas is supposed to be spent with family and they left you. Are you sure that you don't want to come over? We can make hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies and-"

I smiled at how adorable he was being before interrupting him, "no, I think I've gotten enough cheesy Christmas movies this year. Although if you want some cookies, I can stop by later to drop some off. I just made thumbprints to lift my spirits. It didn't really work, but at least now I can drown my sorrows with sugar."

Peter and I ended up talking for hours, eventually he propped his phone up so that it was like I was celebrating at the Parkers. May was more than happy to include me, even electronically, into their festivities, and I realized that I would never be able to go back to the christmases that I had grown used to now that I knew what they could be.

However my parents did return from work and I quickly hung up on Peter after hurried goodbyes. But I did swing by his place as promised to deliver the cookies, heading over before completing my missions for the day. Knowing that if I were to actually enter the apartment then it would be hours before I actually left, I simply placed the box of cookies right outside their door, knocked quickly, then dashed down the hallway so that I wouldn't get caught.

I watched as Peter opened the door, disappointed that I wasn't there in person, but picking up the box of cookies as though they were a precious jewel. The joyous look as he accepted my gift brought a smile to my face and it rested there even as I suited up for the night and completed the tasks that H.A.M.M.E.R. had assigned me for the day.

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(A/N): A little Christmas chapter for Christmas! (I'm so proud that I planned it out correctly, you have no idea) Anyway, I hope that those who celebrate had a wonderful Christmas! And to those who don't, I hope you had a wonderful day! And I hope that you enjoyed this chapter!