The Void

Chapter 26 - I Want to Be More

(Your POV):
Peter, unconvinced that I was actually fine, walked over to me on the balcony and placed his hand atop mine. Warmth radiated from where his skin made contact with mine. At his touch, he exclaimed, "you must be freezing out here!"

Before I had a chance to respond, Peter was already tugging the sweater that he wore over a white button down over his head and handing it to me. No longer able to feel my arms, I gratefully accepter the sweater and pulled it over my own head. I was immediately met with a flood of warmth and Peter's scent, a smile reaching my lips.

"Thanks, Peter," I spoke, wrapping my arms around myself and turning my gaze back to the New York skyline.

"It's no problem," he replied nonchalantly, but quickly jumped into what he really wanted to say. "Now will you tell me how you're really doing?"

I feigned confusion, "what do you mean?"

"(Y/N), I've come to know you pretty well, I think, over the past semester and I don't think you would ever be caught dead crying unless something really bad had happened."

I knew that he wasn't going to let it go, so I quickly fabricated a lie to get him off my back. "It's nothing, really, I-I just- the glass breaking brought up some repressed memories and I guess I got a little overwhelmed. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to notice that I had gone."

He tentatively placed his hand on my shoulder, "of course I noticed that you were gone, you actually seemed to be having fun, at least for a little while, I- it was noticeable when that was gone. Would you be willing to tell me what happened? I mean, only if you want to, I don't want to pressure you into anything. But maybe it would be therapeutic to get it off your shoulders?"

I took in a shaky breath, ready to play the part of someone who was about to share a traumatic experience. "When I was six, my parents had gone out for a work event and hadn't bothered to get a sitter as it was after my bedtime and they were planning on just showing up then leaving at the first opportunity. However, while they were out, someone broke into our apartment. I woke up to the sounds of glass shattering, which naturally caused me to jump out of bed and investigate. The burglar must have heard my footsteps because he pulled a gun on me. I-I almost died that night, it was only by pure luck that my parents arrived home just in time and my father immediately tackled the criminal to the ground. But ever since that day, whenever I hear the sound of glass breaking I remember what it was like looking down the barrel of a gun, anticipating the bullet that would end my life."

I let a few tears slide down my cheeks, only praying that Peter would believe me. I didn't want to have to lie to him, but I couldn't afford to be truthful to him either. If he found out who I was whatever friendship we had would dissolve into nothing and he would hold nothing but contempt for me.

Peter wrapped his arms around me and I allowed myself to melt into his embrace, closing my eyes as I relished in the moment. I had never experienced this much intimacy before and I hadn't realized how touch starved I was until Peter pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I didn't know," he murmured, rubbing my back lightly, but seeming a little uncertain if he was doing the right thing. "But thank you for trusting me. Do you want to leave? I know that you're not really a fan of parties, so if you want to get a break from every, I-I can bring you back to my apartment and we can watch Christmas movies."

I pulled away from the embrace and felt a smile creep onto my lips, "that sounds wonderful, Peter."

"Oh wait, I almost forgot," Peter stopped me as I turned to head back inside. "I-I got you something for Christmas."

"I thought we agreed on no gifts," I replied in confusion, watching as he pulled a jewelry box out of his pocket.

"I know, I just wanted to get this for you to-I guess as a way to make up for all of the Christmases that you must have spent without receiving gifts from friends."

"You consider us friends?"

"Yeah, of course. But a-actually, I wouldn't mind- I mean, I want to, maybe, be more than friends, if you are willing. I, um, I really l-like you, (Y/N)," Peter confessed, stumbling over his words as I merely stared at him in shock.

"Y-you like me?" I repeated, as though hearing them in my voice would make anymore sense. "Why?"

His face fell at my question, "(Y/N), you're amazing. You're so incredibly smart, it has been so amazing to be partnered up with you and get to hear your vast knowledge almost everyday. And your smile can light up a room, meaning so much more because it is so rare. You are probably the strongest person that I've ever met and you don't care what other people think, you're willing to be an outsider. I-I could go on for days, (Y/N), but it all leads to the fact that I have become entranced by you."

"I-I don't know what to say," I stuttered, taken aback by Peter's confession. How could he be attracted to me when all I had done was push him away?

"Well, I would love to hear you say that you feel the same, but i-if that's not true then I-I completely understand and it's totally fine."

"I just, I don't know, Peter. I-I think I do like you, but I've never felt like this before. What if I just like you like a friend and not something more? I've shut people out my entire life until you weaseled your way in, so how am I supposed to know the difference? Besides, my parents- they would never allow me to date someone, not until I'm out of high school. I should just say no to you, but I can't. Peter, every time I'm around you, I get this fuzzy feeling inside and I can't seem to actually think and my senses just get overwhelmed and I can't push you away like I do everyone else. I didn't want to come here tonight, I wanted to tell you no, but you seemed so hopeful that I would come and I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Then maybe we can try this out, take things slow? As for your parents, we can keep them from knowing if you really think they wouldn't allow it. If it doesn't work out, then we can just go back to being friends, but it sounds like we are both feeling something more than friendship towards each other."

Despite the voice in the back of my head screaming at me to say no, I nodded to Peter and gave him a small smile, "I've never actually dated anyone before, but I think I'm willing to try with you. Oh, and I almost forgot to open this."

I turned my attention to the box he had given me, that I had completely forgotten about once he had started going on about his feelings. I lifted the lid up, revealing a gorgeous crystal necklace in the shape of a six-pointed star.

"I-I don't know if you actually like jewelry, but I saw this and thought of you, but if you don't like it-"

"I love it, Peter," I assured him, tracing my finger over one of the points of the star. "Will you put it on me?"

Peter accepted the necklace and secured it around my neck, letting it hang atop of his sweater that I still wore. I smiled as I felt the weight around my neck, this was the first real present I had received and I couldn't help but feel a little emotional. I hadn't realized how much I had missed out on and even if I had, I had always justified it with the knowledge that I would have to make sacrifices in order to purify the world. But I didn't want to make those sacrifices anymore.

-

(A/N): Look who's a couple now! Also I'm timing this out so that the Christmas chapter is actually on Christmas and the one of Christmas Eve will be posted Tuesday and I'm honestly so proud of my planning skills lol. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter!