Fun and games in the 501st

Angry clones in an elevator

Hardcase and Jesse had just finished a shift in the lower levels of Corascant. Jesse was tired and hungry so he was pissed. You try being on a 9 hour night shift with a clone as hyper as Hardcase.

They entered the lift to go back up to their Speeder.
"Doors closing."
"Does that sound familiar to you?" Hardcase asked.
"Probably but I can't be arsed right now."

"Where's the buttons?" Jesse asked.
"Oh they installed voice recognition technology in these lifts they don't have buttons." he replied.
Oh ffs.
"Voice recognition technology... In a lift.... On Coruscant," this was the last thing he needed, "have you ever tried voice recognition technology?"
"No," Hardcase said in the most quiet naive voice.
"They don't do, clone accents."
"Eleven." Hardcase gave it a try.

"Could you please repeat that."

"Eleven." Jesse repeated.
"Eleven." Hardcase tried again.
Hardcase: Eleven
Jesse:Eleven

"Could you please repeat that."

Hardcase: El-E-VAN
"Whos idea was this?" Jesse asked.
"Ya need to try a Naboo accent," Jesse cleared his throat, "Eleven, eleven."
"That sounds Tatooine, not Naboo." Hardcase looked confused at him.
"No it doesn't, eleven."
"What naboo is that, mos eisley cantina?"

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that."

"Try a Ryloth accent right?" Haedcase gave his best shot,
"Eleven,Eleven,"
"Are you from the same Ryloth as Jar-Jar Binks?"
"Let's hear yours then, smart arse."

"Please speak slowly and clearly."

Hardcase: SMART-ARSE
Jesse: Eee-leven *pulls a face to take the mick out of Hardcase*

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that."

"Eleven! If ya don't understand the language away back home to your own planet!" Jesse shouted angrily.
"Oooo is it that talk now is it? away back home to your own Planet?" Hardcase raised his eyebrows.
"Oh don't start Mr bleeding heart how can you be racist to a lift!" he snapped at him, he was getting a bloody headache now.

"Please speak slowly and clearly."

Hardcase: Eleven
                    Elevan
                     Elevan
                      Elevan
"Look ya just saying it the same way!" Jesse shouted.
"I'm going to keep saying it until it understands clones, alright?!"
Hardcase: Eleven
                      Elevan
                      😭Eleven😭
                           😭Eleven😭 

"OH JUST TAKE US ANYWHERE YA COW!" Jesse banged his fist on the door, "JUST OPEN THE DOORS!"

"This is a voice activated elevator, please state which floor you like to go to in a clear and calm manner."

"Calm, calm," Jesse pinched the bridge of his nose, "Where's that coming from, why is it telling people to be calm?"
"Because they knew they'd be selling it to clones who'd be going off their heads at it!" Hardcase was triggered.

"You have not selected a floor."

"AYE WE HAVE! ELEVEN!" he screamed, making Jesse jump.

"If you would like to get out of the elevator, without selecting a floor, simply say 'open the doors please'."

"Please. Please. Suck a Bantha!"
"Maybe we should just say please." Hardcase looked like he was going to cry,
I don't think he's stayed this still for a whole two minutes before.
"I'm not begging that for nothing." Jesse pointed up at the speaker with a disgusted expression on his face.
"Open the doors please," he basically whimpered, "Pleease."
"Pathetic." Jesse said in scorn.

"Please remain calm."

"OH. MY. GOD! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET UP THERE!" he jumped onto Jesse's back.
Jesse was beyond confused. What the kriff was he doing.
"JUST WAIT FOR IT TO SPEAK!"
One awkward pause later,

"You have not selected a floor."

"UUUUP YOURS YA COW! IF YOU DON'T OPEN THESE DOORS I'M GOING TO COME TO THEED, FIND WHATEVER DESPERATE ACTRESS GAVE YOU A VOICE, AND I'M GOING TO GO IN AN ELECTRIC CHAIR FOR YOU."

"Kamino you shavit!"
Hardcase: Kamino!
Jesse: KAMINO!
Hardcase: KAMIIIIINO!
Both: FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!
FREEDOM
Unknown to them the door had opened up to a Twilek, human, and a gungan, all incredibly confused.
Crap.
Hardcase quickly jumped off Jesse's back and straightened up like nothing was amiss.
Jesse awkwardly smiled,
"Going up?"

-later-
"Then the bloody lift didn't tell us when the doors were opening!" Jesse and Hardcase were complaining about the lift predicament at breakfast.
The others were stifling their laughs while
(y/n) was doubled over trying not to laugh.
"How is this funny?" an annoyed Hardcase looked over.
"That could have been me." she quietly grinned.
"General," Jesse said as calmly as he could, "With all due respect, but  you have two seconds to run before I kick your head in."

🤣🤣 This godly idea came from StarLunarisAckerman . I don't usually do request thingys (or write one chapter after another this quick) but it was just too funny not to do.
Baii!