After I was finished moving everything around, I was alone, as usual. Since my dad was out drinking and partying, then I figured it would be a good time to go check out the new neighborhood. I went outside, and saw no one, so I walked around for a while. Little did I know, my dad was going to be home sooner than I expected. It was just barely becoming dark when I returned. When I got back home, he was waiting furiously in his recliner in the living room. "D-dad...? What are y-you doing home so early?" I asked him, shocked.
"Where the hell were you?" he asked furiously.
"I was just taking a look at the neighborhood. I wasn't doing anything, I promise!" I defended.
He got up, and started towards me with his fists balled up. "You don't just go wandering around, do you understand me?!"
I gulped, and nodded my head quickly. "Yes sir!"
"Good," he sighed, and, surprisingly, went and sat back down. I don't think he was as drunk as he usually was that night. He seemed very sober, which was very odd for my dad as you should know.
"Why are you back home so early?" I asked, very shakily, afraid of what he might say.
"I was just making sure you were doing what I wanted you to do, and you didn't try to leave," my dad answered, controlling.
"No...I wouldn't even think about running away," I answered, denying he real fact that I always thought about how and when to escape, even though I knew that it was only a fantasy of me trying to escape that place and my dad. I may be able to run from him, but sooner or later, I knew he would come after me, and he would beat me down even worse than he did the last time I ran away.
"That's a good girl," he said as he patted my head. "Now be an even better girl by getting me something to eat."
I nodded my head, and went to the kitchen, getting out the bread, ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and mustard. I made his sandwich, and took it to him, saying, "Here, Dad...do you think I could go around the neighborhood?"
"What for...?" he asked, grabbing his sandwich, and gobbling it down.
"I just...want to know people, and I want to have someone to talk to," I explained to him. "I don't like keeping everything inside of myself all of the time. I want someone that I can talk to. Can't I at least have that?"
"No," he simply said.
"But why not? Why can't I at least..." I started, but got interrupted by my dad.
"Let me tell you something. I'm the most company you'll ever need. You don't need anyone to talk to. And just to make sure you don't go off and tell someone about me abusing you, I will beat you even worse than I ever have. Not to mention, I will also hunt them down and kill them if they ever even think about telling the cops about me. You remember what happened the last time I went to jail, don't you?" he asked.
I nodded my head, and looked down.
"It'll be worse than that if I go back because I'll be there longer. Do you understand?" he asked me.
I gulped, and nodded my head, a few tears starting to well up in my eyes.
"Good girl," he said, patting my head once more. "And, if you ever disobey me, then that just gives me the right to punish you. Do you get what I'm saying?"
I was a little confused at what he meant, so I shook my head back and fourth.
He stood up, and smacked me across my face as he answered, "I will hurt you and abuse you if you try to ignore or disobey me. Do you understand now?"
I nodded my head, and said, "Okay, I promise I won't ever disobey you."
"Good, now go get in bed. We have a long day tomorrow," he said as he smiled, showing his same rotten teeth.
I reluctantly followed his order, and went to my room, and got ready for bed. I went to my window, and opened it up, letting some cool breeze flow through, ruffling my hair. "Why do I have to live this kind of life?" I asked my self, just like so many times before. "Was I just put on this earth just to be pushed around and beaten by my father? But...why me, and not someone else who has actually done so many things wrong? I never did anything to deserve this, but I was lucky enough to be born into it." I sighed, and climbed into bed, falling asleep almost instantly from the long day.
The next morning, my dad woke me up very early. I was getting shaken, and I looked up to see my dad hovering above me, almost pushing me around on the bed. "Get up, now!" he yelled, and started walking out of my room.
I looked over, groggily at where I watched him slam the door. I just laid my head back down on my pillow, just to think. But, unfortunately, I ended up falling back asleep. I got woken back up by my dad coming in and laying his hard, leather belt on my open skin.
"I said for you to get up little bitch!" he yelled at me, as slap after slap of the leather came down harder and harder against my arms and back.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to drift back off to sleep!" I pleaded, hoping he would stop sometime soon.
"Get up now, and get dressed!" he said, grabbing my arm, and yanking me out of bed. He had stopped hitting me with the belt, and he sat down on my bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as I gathered my clothes for me to wear that day.
"I'm making sure you don't end up falling back to sleep," he firmly said.
"Okay," I said, turning from him as I started to get dressed.
Once I was finished, I followed my dad out of my room, and into the dining room. "Here, eat your breakfast," he said, shoving a bowl of cereal into my hands.
I sat down, and started eating my breakfast as my dad just stood over me and watched. As usual, I wasn't going fast enough for my dad.
He brought up the belt, and laid a very hard hit on my shoulder. "Eat faster, damn it!" he demanded.
I gulped, and was practically forcing my breakfast down my throat, just to please him. I think if I would have tried to go any faster, I would have ended up choking to death. When I was finished, I took my empty bowl into the kitchen, placing it in the sink. I turned towards him, and asked, "What are we doing that's so important?"
He glared at me, and answered, "I have a job interview today. It cost me too much just to move here, and now I'm broke."
"Well, maybe if you would quit drinking..." I started muttering under my breath, and then soon stopped when I saw his hand tighten around the belt, lifting it up.
"What did you say, little girl?" he asked.
I gulped, and quickly answered, "Nothing, Dad...just wondering...uh...well, hoping you do well on your job interview," I quickly said, lying to his face.
"For some reason, I don't think that's the reason why..." he started, as he moved closer to me.
"I'm sorry, Dad...please forgive me. I didn't mean to say anything," I told him, and started backing away from him.
