Author: eeniexmeenie
Book name - "Mine?" - "yours"
Reviewer: Praahi
About the story:
"Mine?" - "Yours" is a fanfiction involving the cast of two famous television daily soaps "Swaragini" and "Ishqbaaaz". Sanskar, Laksh, Shivay, Omkara and Rudra are brothers and Swara is Sanskar's wife. The story is all about their love and their past which seems to create immense trouble and miseries which results into separation.
Review:
- The cover is dark yet romantic probably to indicate the mystery surrounding the protagonists as well as the love between the two. It is good but could have been better.
- The title seems different and intriguing too. Good font but as the background is dark, the color of the font could have been bright so the contrast would give much attractive feel to the cover.
* Couldn't comment whether the title and cover are apt for the story because I feel within three chapters one couldn't get hold of the entire plot. But as of now, the cover seems perfect but not sure about the title.
"About two different personalities who have different backgrounds, different views yet together they are imperfectly perfect" - this line in the description caught my attention and I liked it. Such descriptions would get readers into the story.
- Prologue/ blurb is something which summarizes the story without revealing the cliffhangers or it might be something which forces the reader not to stop reading further. And that is exactly what the author has done. She has been successful in creating the interest just by the first few words in the Prologue.
Coming to the plot,
As it is an ongoing story and there are only three full fledged parts, so far the story is full of suspense and one by one the characters are introduced and the mysteries are getting untangled. If the story goes forward in this pace and with the secrets revealed at the right time, then the story would surely be successful.
- Good usage of vocabulary and tense, one proofreading would edit the few grammatical errors present. Be more careful on punctuation as one , or ! can change the imagination of the reader and might convey something else than you wanted to say.
- It is always preferred to describe the characters in the beginning inorder to avoid any confusion. As it is a fan fiction, you could feel free to use the pictures of the characters to make it easier for the readers to visualize.
Points to Improve:
- Work more on the punctuation and grammar, otherwise the flow of your language is really good.
- It is always good to write lengthy parts and at the same time it is also important to know where to stop. If possible stick to a particular word limit and is always preferred to leave a part in cliffhanger so as to assure that the reader comes back to completely read the story.
Best things about your story:
- Excellent narration of the characters and their emotions.
- A thriller is always exciting to read and your story involves lot of mystery.
* If there were more parts I could have given an elobarate review.
Note: eeniexmeenie hope I have not offended you. You are doing exceptionally well. Keep writing. All the best.
Thank you,
Praahi.
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