Oh, how many times I stayed up crying
I had to admit I was never loved
I think that had to say a lot all by its self
I finally realized -
what we had was nothing but a lie
I also realized -
You were the biggest mistake I had ever made.
I had found a way to forgive myself
from my mistakes -
Yet, I haven't yet, found a way to erase you
from my mind. I know the past has been written
but this nightmare is a place of forbidden.
I can't pretend that I love you
my heart wouldn't let me do this
I could never say I am perfect,
nor would I ever want to.....
I know if I ever did it would be a lie
I know you would love to see me die.
I'm sorry I had made you cry
but no matter what I was always by your side,
I never wanted to be
yet, you made me
I know what I was in was a nightmare
leaving you was the right thing for me to do,
Oh, the fears and all those tears
that has lasted out all these painful years,
you put my heart on the run
I was very young
I was always in so much fear
the things you would say or do
made me want to run from you
the fear was knowing you were always near
you gave me a lifetime of fear
Please never come near
I don't want you here.
- Judy Emery © 1997
The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
