Wasting Time

23

Months passed and Sirius and I tried our best to be friendly. I still felt that Sirius was constantly picking fights or doing things to get me to fight with him. I couldn't understand it.

We were sitting together in the common room. The room was empty except for James and Lily cuddling in front of the fire. He kept sneaking glances at me and I kept pretending not to notice. I gestured towards Lily and James.

"Do you think it would have been different if they figured it out earlier? You and I, I mean." I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...we never would have broken up the first time if Lily had just realized that she didn't hate him. So maybe we never would have broken up at all. Maybe we would have had the time to figure out our issues."

"Maybe. Maybe we would have just self destructed faster. But if we did, we'd probably be back together by now." I shot a surprised glance at him. He hadn't brought up getting back together in weeks.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Sirius spoke again.

"I got into a fight with Regulus the other day." I let out a sigh of exasperation.

"Why do you keep doing this? You keep fighting with your family and we both know it's not good for you. It doesn't make you feel any better and you know it worries me."

"That's why."

"What?" Irritation coloured my voice. "You're going out of your way to worry me?"

"I keep thinking that maybe, if I keep doing the old shit that made you yell at me, you'll do it again. I guess it's kind of worked but not the way I'd hoped."

"You're....fighting with your family to get back together with me?"

"The grand gestures and apologies didn't work. I guess I thought maybe a different approach would." I looked away from him, trying to gather myself. He reached over and pulled my face back to him. "I can never apologize enough for what I did. I hate myself everyday for hurting you. But I love you so much Marlene, being away from you is literally killing me. And I know it's killing you too."

"Sirius..."

"If you say no, I'll leave you alone. I'll never bring it up again if you don't feel the same way..." he was starting to spiral.

"Sirius!" I interrupted him.

"What?"

And I kissed him. He immediately melted into it and we were both smiling into the kiss. I heard James cheer from his place by the fire. I broke away and smiled at him before speaking.

"We just need to talk. No more revenge, no more reacting. We need to talk about issues as they happen. Promise?"

He smiled widely at me. Not a trace of a smirk, just a pure smile.

"I promise"