Wasting Time

21

I woke up the next morning with my head on Sirius' chest. I carefully disentangled myself from him and looked around. The dormitory was still empty. I walked over to James' bedside table and took out a drawer, emptying its contents onto his bed.

I walked around the room, picking up everything I'd ever left there. My broken ashtray that I threw at the wall during a fight, the underwear and pyjamas I kept in his drawer. The skirt I had left there weeks before. The Polaroid pictures of us he had taken from my box of photos. The book I had left on his bedside table. It was all packed and gone.

I hesitated by the door before turning back to a sleeping Sirius. I took off the necklace he had given me two christmases ago and put it on his table before sitting softly on the edge of his bed. I looked down at him, drinking him in. Trying to memorize every detail of his face like this. Asleep, peaceful. I brushed my lips against his cheek before getting up and leaving, taking all my stuff with me.

When I entered the common room, it was empty except for the other boys. They were sitting around the fire and looked as though they had slept down there.

"Were you here all night?" I asked as I approached them. They all turned to look at me.

"We thought you and Sirius might want some privacy," Remus told me.

"What happened up there? You were so mad you stole his drawer?" James tried to make me laugh, and I almost did.

"Um no. I needed to pack up my stuff. It shouldn't be in there anymore." James let out a low whistle.

"It really is over then, isn't it?" Remus asked. I shrugged sadly.

"Feels that way."

"Seriously Marly, where did the drawer come from?" James asked, still trying to lighten the mood. I did let out a small chuckle this time.

"Your bedside table. Your stuffs on your bed." I heard James grumble.

I started to walk towards my own dormitory and saw the boys getting up in my peripheral vision.

"Have a good sleep!" I called over my shoulder.

Everyone was still asleep when I got into my dormitory. I put the drawer down on my bed and reach under it. I pulled out my box of photos and dug around, looking for one photo in particular.

I found it at the bottom of the box. Sirius, smoking a cigarette, with his mouth on a microphone we found at a muggle bar. I brushed my thumb down the side of his face. A tear slid down my cheek as I looked at the picture and I held it to my chest as the sobs began again.