Wasting Time

29

We arrived at James's house the next day. The train ride to London and then the car ride home were very quiet. Most people seemed afraid to speak to me, but I wished they would. When we entered the house, Euphemia turned to me.

"Marlene, darling, you are more than welcome to stay in Sirius's room if you would like. I know it comforts you, and you're near enough adults now," she said gently. I hugged her quickly before kissing her cheek.

"Thank you," was all I could muster. She just nodded and went about her bustling.

"Do you want to go up to my room?" Sirius asked me.

"Our room, you mean?" I smiled. He was caught by surprise, but he smiled back.

"Hey Mar?"  James spoke. I waved Sirius ahead and turned to look at him c

"Yeah Jamie?"

"You would tell me if you weren't okay, right? You'll tell me if there's anything I can do?" I smiled at him tiredly.

"I don't think there's anything any of us can do." He looked unsettled. "But yes James. I will tell you. You're one of the only people in the world that I trust."

He hugged me for awhile. A long enough while that I was almost expecting Sirius to come find us. Or maybe it wasn't that long. But eventually, he let go. He went to his room, and I went to mine. But he was lighter, knowing that I wouldn't being carrying this burden alone.

Sirius was laying on his bed when I walked in. I crawled in beside him and wiggled my way into his arms.

"Hi McKinnon," he said quietly.

"Hi Sirius."

"What can I do to help? Please, tell me there's something I can do," he was almost pleading with me.

"Tell me a story. Tell me about the night you fell in love with me. Not the abridged version you told Dorcas."

"Okay."

It was the first night of Christmas holiday. We were out in muggle London with our friends. I was drunk, and James was drunk, and Sirius was drunk. Even Lily and Remus were a little drunk. I was sitting on a park bench while Mary and James ran around the park and Lily and Remus called after them to behave. Sirius came and sat down next to me. He looked sad. He'd looked sad a lot lately. Maybe it was more tired.

"Tell me something good McKinnon," he said.

"I broke up with Fabian yesterday," I said cheerily. I held up the bottle of wine I was drinking and took a long swig before handing it to him.

"Why is that a good thing?" He asked. I made a face.

"Don't get me wrong, he's like a good guy. But he can be mean. Like really nasty, but in a quiet way that people don't see. Am interesting side note: he did not care for our friendship."

"Why's that?" Sirius looked angry. I didn't know about which part.

"Your reputation precedes you mister Black, and unfortunately, so does mine."

His fists clenched. "That's really fucked up, you know. That he cares about what people say about you."

I was surprised at his anger. I knew that Sirius was protective, but I hadn't realized that that extended to me. I rubbed his shoulder gently, moving down his arm to massage his fist open.

"It's ok. He's young, he just loses control of his temper sometimes."

"That's not an excuse Marlene."