Wasting Time

7

For the next few weeks, I avoided talking about anything that had to do with Micah or tea leaves. My friends had tried to broach the subject more than once, especially Sirius, but I shut them down every time. However, Sirius did eventually corner me at a party in the room of requirement.

"Mar. Come on,we have to talk about this."

"No we don't. Look, if there's ever a time to change your beliefs, it's now. So that's what I'm doing."

"The only good time to change your beliefs is when you're wrong. So you should've done that three years ago when we signed up for that stupid class." He smirked at me and then I actually laughed. Lily walked over to us with a smile on her face.

"Mar! Let me get you a drink! What do you want?"

"Whiskey on the rocks! Actually Lil, forget the rocks...and the glass. Just pass me the bottle of whiskey." Sirius looked impressed.

"I'll have what she's having."

"Sure, I'll serve you both up a nice glass of alcohol poisoning," Lily rolled her eyes but passed us a bottle of whiskey to share anyway.

The night was a bit of a haze. Sirius and I drank the whole bottle. And then another. At one point late into the night, I got overwhelmed by the crowd. It was an unusual feeling for me. I started looking around for Sirius to go for a walk and a smoke. I found him eventually, passed out on the couch. I sighed and walked out the door alone. I headed towards the astronomy tower. I could always see the Sirius star and it was my favorite view of the castle. I heard footsteps behind me and I spun around as quickly as my drunk body would allow me. I pulled out my wand and found that I was pointing it at Augustus Rookwood.

"Jesus Rookwood! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Lower the wand McKinnon. I saw you leave and didn't think you should be wandering around by yourself." I lowered my wand and tucked it back into my waistband.

"Well. Give some warning next time. These are dangerous times after all."

"I'll keep that in mind. Where exactly are you going?"

"Astronomy tower. I need a cigarette."

"I'll come with you." I didn't protest but I wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation.

He put his hand on my lower back and began to walk with me. Something registered as being off, but I was too drunk to quite put my finger on it or do anything about it. He opened the door to the tower for me when we arrived. I walked over to the edge and lit a cigarette.

"So why here? Why not just go out the front door?" He questioned me. I pointed to the brightest star.

"I like to be close. That's the Sirius star. Brightest in the sky."

"And where is Black tonight? He doesn't seem to let you out of his sight much lately."

"Passed out," i grumbled. "I'll go find him after this, take him back to the dorm."

"Or you could stay with me tonight," he suggested with a smirk on his face.

"I'm obviously not going to do that. I'm with Sirius. Always have been, always will be."

"I won't tell if you don't."

He stepped forward and kissed me. I kissed back for a moment. I was in such a haze, and so unaccustomed to being kissed by people other than Sirius that I leaned into, seemingly forgetting that it wasn't him. Once I remembered where I was and who I was with, I pushed him off of me. I ran towards the door and all the way back to the room of requirement. By the time I reached the party, I was crying. I burst through the door and Remus and James spotted me immediately.

"Marly, what happened?" James rushed over to me.

"Lily. I need Lily," was all I could get out through the tears. Remus ran to get her while James tried to calm me down. Lily came over and pulled me out the door.

"What happened?" She asked as soon as she pulled me into a classroom.

"Rookwood followed me up to the astronomy tower and he kissed me and I'm so drunk and I forgot I wasn't with Sirius and I kissed him back but I pushed off as soon as I remembered what what was happening. He's never going to forgive me. Sirius is never going to forgive. He'll hate me and I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him."

"Marlene. Calm down. This isn't your fault Sirius will understand. Breath with me." She places my hand on her chest so I could feel it rising and falling and match my breaths to hers. "We don't have to tell him if you don't want."

"We don't lie to each other." She nodded in understanding.

Somehow, I ended up curled up on the couch with Sirius that night. We woke up the next morning and he smiled sleepily at me.

"Good morning beautiful." I looked at him and all of the love I felt for him and the memory of the night before washed over me.

"Are you talking to me or yourself?" I tried to respond with a smartass comment like I normally would but it sounded hollow. His brow creased immediately in concern.

"What's wrong? You look sad Mar." I stood up.

"I have to tell you something." He stood up as well, reaching into my back pocket for cigarettes.

"This sounds serious. Let's do it over a cigarettes." He looked down at the unfamiliar pack of cigarettes in his hand. "Whose are these McKinnon? You turned into a cigarette thief now, McKinnon?" He joked. I looked away from him and my eyes started to tear up.

"They're Augustus Rookwood's," I said quietly. The smile on his face fell, but he seemed more confused than anything.

"How'd you end up with them?"

"I wanted to go up to the astronomy tower last night, and you were passed out so I went by myself but he followed me. I don't know how his cigarettes got into my pocket but he kissed me and I was drunk and—" He cut me off.

"Did you sleep with him?" I reached forward to touch his arm but he pulled away. "Did. You. Sleep with him?" He asked again.

"No. I was just drunk and I'm so used to being with you that I forgot for a moment that I wasn't with you and I kissed him back but I stopped it as soon as I realized what was going on, I swear!" Our conversation had caught the attention of our friends now. Thankfully, they were the only other people left in the room.

"I...I need a minute Marlene. I can't be with you right now." He threw the cigarettes in my direction. "Here, keep these. You earned them."

He stormed out and I sank to the ground crying. My head was in my hands but I felt my friends immediately swarm around me.

"I'll go talk to him Marly. Lily told me what happened. This isn't your fault. He'll come to his senses," James told me, stroking my hair before walking out the door as well. I just sobbed harder.