Wasting Time

32

We spent the first six days of our trip wandering around the city. We had seen the Louvre, the Eiffel tour, Notre Dame — the site of Mary's favorite book — the Musée d'Orsay, we had gone for a boat tour of the Seine one evening, and of course had been to Sacré-Cœur at the highest point of the city. We had also spent many hours wandering and visiting cafes and shops.

On the seventh day, we made a trip out to Deauville Beach in Normandy.

I was laying on Sirius's chest, whispering stupid jokes to him while everyone else moved around us. For the moment, we were in our own world.

"You know McKinnon, these jokes are awful," Sirius said, though he was smiling at me.

"Oh really?"

"Really but it's okay. You know why?"

"Why's that?" I asked, though I wasn't sure I wanted the answer.

"Can't pay attention with your tits pressed up against me like that," he answered proudly.

I covered his mouth with my hand and he licked my palm. I rolled off of him laughing.

"Oi, are you two having it off up there or what?" James called from the water. I sat bolt upright and started yelling back at him.

"We are not, James Potter!"

"Well then get down here and join the rest of us!"

"Not with that attitude, I won't! Ask nicely and we can discuss it!"

James and I continued to bicker and Sirius sat beside me, giggling, though he would never admit it. Eventually, James said 'please Marly dearest' in just the right tone and Sirius and I joined the rest in the water.

I was walking along where the water met the sand, getting just my toes wet, when Lily made a sound that caught my attention.

"What's going on Lils?"

"What on earth are those to doing?" She gestured to Mary and Dorcas. Mary was trying to push Dorcas off a rock deeper in the water and they were both laughing hysterically. "They're acting like children, I hardly ever see them like this."

Sirius and I looked at each other, holding back giggles, while James — very conspicuously — avoided Lily'a eyes.

"Lily, they're high," I told her, giggling. Her eyes widened.

"What?" She sounded startled.

"Yes, they're high. And me and Sirius, and James, and Peter too."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when you were in the toilet, we all got high. Didn't want to pressure you, so I waited until you were gone. Emmeline and Remus didn't want to though," I pouted.

"Marlene, you've been high with me before. I think you'll survive if I sit this one out," Remus said.

"Why didn't you want to pressure me?" Lily asked.

"I knew you wouldn't want to do it, Lily, and I didn't want you to feel bad."

"Is that what you think of me?"

"Babes, it's what we all think of you," I told her. Sirius laughed. I had said the same thing to him almost two years earlier, when he had asked if I really thought he would just sleep with me and then stop talking to me. Lily, however, looked hurt. "It doesn't mean we don't think you're fun. You're one of the most fun people I know. This just didn't really seem up your ally."

"I would totally do it!"

I looked at her skeptically. "I have some in my bag if you want."

Before I could find out how serious she was, Sirius grabbed me and James grabbed Lily, and they both threw us into the water.

***

On the last night of our trip, we stayed up late playing truth or dare. By around 3AM, Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, and I were the only ones left up. We were all drunk and giggling and then, Sirius looked at me, well, seriously.

"Truth or dare McKinnon?" He asked. I was nervous.

"Truth?" I responded hesitantly.

"Why did you really break up with me the first time?"

I frowned, confused. Lily and Remus both looked uncomfortable, but James just rolled his eyes.

"Exactly why I said I did. I didn't want to have to choose between you and my friends. Why did you think?"

"You used to lie to me a lot, McKinnon," he said. I nodded in agreement. I had lied to him almost constantly the first time we were together. About anything, really. "So, when I found out that you knew, I thought that maybe it was about that stupid prank."

"Oh my god, Sirius, no. It was never about that. I forgave you as soon as Remus did."

Lily looked very lost. "Are you guys talking about that thing with Snape and the Whomping Willow? Why would Marlene break up with you over that Sirius?"

The four of us looked at each other in shock. Did she not know? I locked eyes with Remus and he nodded.

"Lily, do you not know? Did James not tell you?"

"Tell me what? What am I missing here?"

"Um, Lily," Remus spoke, "I guess there's something I should tell you."

"Well, get on with it, then. You're making me nervous now."

"I'm a werewolf. And there's a tunnel in the whomping willow that leads to the shrieking shack. It's where I go on the full moon. Where we go."

Lily sat in stunned silence. "So he was right," she said simply.

"Who was right?" James asked, the fear clear in his voice.

"Severus. He was completely obsessed with you four, it was quite creepy to be honest. And he tried for years to tell me that you were a werewolf Remus, but I never believed him."

"Are you upset?" Remus asked carefully. His face was pinched and his body tense. Now Lily looked surprised.

"Of course not. This doesn't change anything. You're still my friend, you're still Remus." He visibly relaxed at her reply. "But what did you mean by we?"

The boys all smiled now. "This part is brilliant, Lily," Remus said, before James launches into an explanation about how they became animagus.

We went to bed shorty after. I laid in Sirius' arms and we whispered to each other.

"I'm sorry you thought I lied to you," I said quietly.

"It's okay. I wouldn't have blamed you if that was the real reason. It was one of the worst things I ever did."

"Maybe, but the worst things we ever did isn't who we are."

"And besides, you don't lie to me anymore," he said.

"No, I don't," I said. But the words tasted like a lie.