Wasting Time

22

Remus took me up to the astronomy tower in the morning. He knew I needed silence, and this was probably the only place I'd get it.

I leaned against Remus's arm.

"Maybe everything — me kissing you, Sirius sleeping with Em — maybe it all happened for a reason"

"What reason is that?"

"Maybe that's just who we're supposed to be with." He raised an eyebrow.

"You're not trying to say you're in love with me are you?" He asked doubtfully.

"No. But maybe the universe is trying to say I should be." I answered wistfully.

"I'm beginning to doubt the universe cares about any of us mar. Now why are you saying this?"

"I just want all this pain to mean something. To have a reason."

"It does mean something. It means that you and Sirius are a mess."

Sirius found me quickly that day. We knew each other so well, it was impossible to avoid him.

"You were gone when I woke up," he said simply.

"I told you. This is over. I can't keep doing it."

"Marlene, I love you. That has to count for something." I took a deep breath.

"It does. But love isn't enough to fix all our problems. I'm tired, Sirius. I'm tired of the fighting, I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy, and I know you're tired of making me cry. This has to be goodbye. For now, at least. In a few months, or years, maybe we can try again. Maybe it'll work then. But we don't work right now. We're hurting each other, and there's enough pain going around right now that we shouldn't be adding more."

"Do you really think we might be better? If we had time apart, I mean." I took his face in my hands.

"Sirius Black, I love you more than anything. I hope that that's enough for us one day."