Wasting Time

30

The boys stared at me for awhile, unsure of how to help me. Sirius, however, held up a finger at my brothers and pulled me out the front door for a cigarette. He had to light mine for me, my hands were shaking so bad. As soon as he handed it to me, I started pacing.

"We can never go back to that house," I said. "It's not safe, god knows what he's doing now. My entire childhood is in that house, all of our childhoods are in that house. I have important stuff there. How could he do this to us? How could he join the people who killed our family?"

Sirius watched helplessly as I paced and spiraled. Eventually, he moved towards me and held onto my arms.

"Marlene, you have to breathe." He put my hand to his chest and I breathed with him.

"Sirius... I don't know what to do," I said quietly. My voice shook.

"You do what you've always done. You keep breathing. You told me once that the good guys always win. Do you still believe that?"

I nodded and put out my cigarette, gesturing for another. Sirius opened his mouth but I shot him a look and he instantly closed it again. We sat in silence for this second cigarette. He was right. I had to keep breathing. I did believe that the good guys always won. Even if it didn't feel like it in the moment.

When I finished my cigarette, we went back inside. Milo and Matt hurried away from the windows, where they had clearly been watching us. I heard Milo lean over to Sirius and mutter, "how did you do that mate?"

Sirius shrugged. "I just know her."

"I'm sorry guys. I shouldn't have reacted like that," I said quietly.

"He's still our brother, Mar," Matt said gently. I gave him a look that appeared to shake him.

"No, he isn't. As far as I'm concerned, he's dead."

Milo made an uncomfortable sound and Matt pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and handed them to me. "Here, take these."

"Are you telling me to go..." I trailed off.

"The Paris apartment, yes. We talked to Euphemia, she thinks you should go. Take your friends, get away from all of this for a while. For as long as you want."

"Matt, are you sure? What if something happens?"

He shook is head. "This is your last summer to be a kid Marly. Use it. Go to Paris, with all your friends, and do some dumb shit." He glanced around Sirius from the corner of his eyes. "No sharing rooms. Not you two anyway."

Sirius laughed, and I stifled one. "Do you think—" he started, but I slapped my hand over his mouth.

"Of course not, we wouldnt do that." I paused. "Thank you, Matt. Just...just keep in touch this time, okay?"

"I promise."

The boys both hugged me tightly and told me they loved me before they left. I turned to James and Sirius.

"Wanna go to Paris?"

"Paris?" James was dumbfound.

"My parents bought an apartment before they died. It was supposed to be a get away, but they never got to use it."

"Should we write everyone? Do you want the others to come?" Sirius asked. I nodded.

"Can you two send some letters? There's something I have to do."

They nodded and I walked over to the fire place. I threw floo powder in, and next thing I was at Emmeline's. Her mother was sitting in the living room when I arrived.