Sienna Asma

Constant turmoil

Theo

I make my way out the doors and run to the side of the restaurant. My stomach bubbles and burns until I throw up this morning's breakfast. Tears track down my face and the vomit keeps coming until I'm dizzy and exhausted. I didn't notice it, but a hand is patting my back. It gently rubs twice, before patting once again. I should be terrified at this random hand patting me, but I know who it belongs to. It's the same man whose done this same routine every time I throw up.

"Dom," I sigh, still leaning over.

"Shh," he whispers. "Let it out all, Theo."

I nod my head, which was a bad idea, and throw up once again. I keep going until nothing comes out anymore. When I'm done, I take the napkin out my pocket and wipe my mouth. I hear the opening of a water bottle and automatically reach out for it. I rinse, pour some over my face, and take a few sips to settle my stomach, before finally feeling decent.

However, my emotions are still all over the place and I don't have the energy to figure them out.

"You okay?" Dom asks, still quiet.

"Yeah," I answer, though we both know it's not true.

I remove his hand from my back, it feels wrong to take comfort from him, and I pass him a small smile.

"Alright, then let's go," he says, still gentle with his voice.

We walk around the corner and I see Dean pacing in front of it. He's furious and I debate if I want to confront him. Once he sees us though, he makes a beeline for me. His arms come around me and his whole body shakes with anger. I hug him back, trying to comfort him, but I can't tell who's comforting who. It's been awhile since Dean has hugged me alone, and I can't help the tears that spring from my eyes.

I feel selfish.

"What are we gonna do, Theodore?" He asks, sounding devastated. I don't know what he's talking about until I remember the news we just got.

Sienna is dead. Like actually dead. Not her body is dead and she's going to come back soon, but her whole mind, her soul, her personality, her signature smile, is gone. Her body continues to live and yet, she doesn't. A woman who most definitely does not deserve to live is still breathing, and the brightest soul has once again been snuffed out. Every hope of the five of us getting back together is gone, and I want to rage at the world for it.

"We'll kill her," I tell him seriously. I wasn't joking when I told Asma I'd kill her. That's not Sienna in there, and I have no reservations about killing her. I mean sure, my stomach will pay for it later, but my heart will thank me for it.

He pulls back and looks at me with fear in his eyes. I don't know what he's afraid of, though.

"You can't do that," he mutters and I frown.

"Why not. I've never done anything right. I can at least do this," I say.

He shakes his head and pulls me to his chest again. This time, it feels like he's trying to protect me. From what, I don't know.

"You're not gonna do that," he emphasizes. He pulls back and frames my face, his handsome one filling my entire line of sight. "I love you too much to put that burden on you. You aren't gonna kill Asma and we will get through this."

I wonder briefly, how this went from me comforting him to him comforting me. But then I realize what he had just said. "You do?" I question, to make sure I heard right.

I fucked up. Badly. And sure Dom said we'd get back to where we were, but I still wasn't sure if they still loved us. If they still love me. That terrifying doubt kept me up at night and made my stomach turn. It made my food sour and every shout like a stab to my heart. It made my will to live almost nonexistent and my soul in constant turmoil.

"I do, my Little Theodore. That has never changed and will never change," he assures. 

I nod my head, satisfied with his answer, and I hug him once more. Turning to Dom, I see him pacing. When he catches me looking, he gestures back to the restaurant. "I don't like that Cole is the only one in there."

My worry spikes at the fact that Cole is in there alone with poisonous Asma, evil General Ryan, and Leader Hill, who I'm entirely sure we can't trust. "Should we go get him?" I ask, frowning. 

"We don't have to," Dean says, nodding his head towards the door. 

Asma walks out, looking royally pissed off. I want to spit every curse word I can think of at her, but I pause when she seizes like she's being electrocuted in the parking lot. Thankfully, there aren't many people around, so she doesn't receive any undeserved help. It does look very painful though. 

Not long after, General Ryan comes out with a worried look on her face. She rushes to Asma and helps her into the car. That whole exchange has me curious, but I'm not sure I'm in any place to be asking questions right now. 

Finally, Leader Hill and Cole come out. Leader Hill looks pleased while Cole seems confused and hesitant. When he spots us, relief and concern shines in his eyes. He walks over and stands close to us, closer than Leader Hill, but still farther than how we normally used to stand close to one another. Cole continues to beat himself up over our mistake. He gives unnecessary space and is constantly accommodating to us. He doesn't joke anymore and I haven't seen him smiled at all. 

I feel like I haven't smiled in forever. 

We head into the car and everyone is silent. My curiosity bugs me though, and I've always found it hard to keep it contained. 

"What happened?" I finally ask. 

Cole turns to Leader Hill, meaning he has no idea what happened. 

"Let's talk in the car," is all he says, heading for it. 

Once we're all inside, Cole glares harshly, waiting for Leader Hill to speak. 

He lets out a deep sigh and makes eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. "I believe Sienna is still alive. That whole exchange was nothing but fishy and Asma slipped up. She said she needs General Ryan to get Sienna out of her head, not needed. It's a tiny slip up and we could be grasping at straws, but I believe Sienna is still there, just not in control. Asma may be working along with General Ryan to become powerful. I'm not sure if she's interested in the Key, but our next objective needs to be to take Asma. General Ryan is powerless without her."

"I think she's being held there against her own will," I speak up, hesitantly. I'm not sure if my opinion is wanted. 

"They got into the car together," Dean remembers. 

"Yes, but before that Asma seemed like she was having a seizure. It only stopped when General Ryan came back," I explain.

Leader Hill nods and finally pulls out the restaurant parking lot. "I thought so. General Ryan is selfish and it would be too optimistic of us to believe that Asma was acting on her own will."

"She's not innocent," Cole grumbles. "You saw her."

"Yes, but I also believe she's a victim too," Leader Hill says calmly. 

The air becomes violent as we all disagree with that statement. None of us speak aloud though. We all steam silently and try to see his thought process.

"We won't know that until we grab her," he continues. 

"Alright then, let's go," Dean says clapping his hands together.

"Not a chance," Dom protests before Leader Hill can respond. "None of us stand a chance against Asma right now, especially mentally. I don't need any," he pauses, making sure to make eye contact with each of us, "of us losing our heads and possibly killing her, when Sienna may still be alive. You'll send Soldiers right?" He asks Leader Hill.

"Correct. Besides, if my daughter is still alive, I don't think she'll appreciate her men being dead," Leader Hill hums.

I wish I could agree with that.