Sienna Asma

Reality

Cole

"When are you gonna come in, Dimples?" I ask laughing quietly. She's been outside my door, thinking that I don't know she's there. I just got out the shower and I've been lounging on my bed wondering who's she would go to. I know we all need to have private conversations with Sienna. Her death fucked us up... bad. And then just when life was starting to look up, she came back. It was almost as if we needed to lose her to realize how much we needed her.

Here we go again with the philosophy.

"I don't know what you mean. I just got here." She walks in a hesitant smile. The deep indentations that I love so much are prominent and I've never admitted it but, I want to poke them.

No, I will poke them. Who knows when I'll get the chance again?

I get up from my bed and stand in front of her. She looks wary and her mouth drops in surprise when my pointer fingers poke her cheeks. "Hey there, Sienna," I smile still squishing her chubby cheeks.

"Babe?" She manages to get out.

"I've always wanted to do this." I drop my hands and pull her close. I've hugged her since she's been back, but never alone. I haven't wrapped my arms fully around her and the feeling is one I'll cherish forever. "Who knows what will happen tomorrow."

I feel her arms tighten before she pulls back. "I'm so sorry, Cole. I didn't mean to die. I really wanted to live. I'm sorry fo-"

I cut her off with a kiss. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I mutter against her lips.

"I put you guys through so much pain." She squeezes my arms while her eyes search my face. She now has both one golden eye and one brown. We haven't discussed it yet and I don't want to talk about Asma anytime soon. Just thinking about her name pisses me off.

"That was not your fault. Who knows what was gonna happen if Master Varrien lived. He might've still taken over the world if you had died. You saved millions of lives, Sienna." I give her a smile but it shakes. She's so beautiful, inside and out. The pain of losing such an amazing person comes back.

"But that doesn't mean anything when I've hurt the people I care most about," she says. She pushes me back until I'm sitting on my bed at the edge. Her legs wrap around my waist as she sits in my laps.

I peck her lips gently which causes her to smile. "I love you, Cole. And I'm sorry. I know you say it's not my fault and I'm pretty sure everyone will say it's not my fault, but I'm sorry. I won't leave ever again, okay? You're stuck with good old me until you kick the bucket."

"I love you too, Sienna. We have many years to live together and I can't wait." I pause as I think of something else to say. I've been spouting inspirational shit all year and now I've got nothing.

Sienna doesn't seem to mind though. She lays her head on my shoulder and sighs content. I scoot us back so I'm leaning against the headboard and I'm comfortable.

It's silent before she speaks up. "So talk to me, Cole. What happened with you?"

I close my eyes as I gather my thoughts. I'm not sure what happened to me. I know I was a wreck. I know I lived in Rage and I know I was hurting. I know that watching the men I love fall apart was terrible. I know that I was on the brink of collapsing. I know that Sienna in my arms is surreal and I'm terrified.

"Is this real?" I whisper and she flinches, hard. Sienna looks up with hurt shining in her eyes. I know she wants me to say I didn't mean to say that, but I can't.

What if I've gone insane and I'm imagining all of this? What if by me asking that question I'll be plunged back into reality? Because this feels too good and it must be fake.