Lullaby

Chapter 4 - A shoulder to cry on

I breathed in deep and began,
“Ok, so about 3 months ago I was your typical non – caring, skinny, bimbo looking, plastic princess” the last word came out like venom, it amazed me at how much that word offended me now “But that all changed” I closed my eyes and felt Leo’s hand touch my shoulder, it radiated warmth all the way through me so I opened my eyes and smiled gratefully at him then continued “My mom was driving me to the towers that morning as a treat, I can’t remember what for but it felt nice and I felt happy that morning, as we were getting closer but then things started getting heated, we started arguing about University and that I could do better, that I should start looking seriously at what I wanted to do, but things as they intensified turned towards personal matters, it was like she was having a go at me on purpose. I still don’t know what the hell I did wrong to deserve that kind of attack, she was rambling to me about something but by then I wasn’t paying attention to her and she wasn’t paying attention to the road, she let go of the wheel to grab my arm and I yanked away which caused me to knock her chin and for her to swerve onto the other lane, a truck was incoming and fast at that point and the next thing I knew was, was this flash of white light, and… and… the truck had crashed into us, squashing us to the front… it was all my fault”

  I broke off and began to cry, the next thing I knew, Leo’s arms were fast around me, sheltering me, cradling me and then the tears fell, streaming down til I couldn’t hold them anymore but still I continued “the next thing I knew, I was in hospital with an oxygen mask over my face, hearing the doctors say I was lucky to be alive, that someone upstairs must be watching over me” he stiffened next to me “I was scarred on most of my body from where they repaired the damaged tissue. That’s another reason why I cover up,ok!?” I didn’t mean it to come out so bitter but it did and I instantly regretted it as he stiffed and pulled away, but kept his hands on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes,
“Jen its ok… you may not know me well or feel comfortable around me yet, but doesn’t it feel better now you’ve talked to someone? Especially someone that is willing to listen?” And truth was I DID feel better, much better in fact, so I just nodded at him and wiped my eyes with my sleeve “I sort of know how it feels, to loose someone you love and there’s no other pain like it” He sighed but continued “So I’ll be here for you ok?”
“Isn’t this a little odd though?” I accused raising a brow
“Not unless you want it to be?” he asked and raised a brow back
“I guess not, I mean I do feel a lot better now” I unwillingly blushed, and either he didn’t notice, didn’t care or just pretended not to see.
“We’d better get back, but you want to hang out later?” I looked at him for a good long while, getting lost in those eyes as before, before managing to stutter an answer
“Urmm sure, but where?”
“There’s always the beach?” he grinned.
“I don’t have enough money for the bus” I looked down as I said, hoping I hadn’t made him mad
“I have a car?” I panicked... I hadn’t been in a car since the accident.
“Urmm, maybe not”
“Why not?”
“I haven’t been in a car since...” I choked my heart was in my throat at that point.
“Oh I see” we just looked at each other for a while.

“Yeah, I’m sorry” and he stood up, actually for a moment or two I believed I had deeply offended him, I mean he would probably have swarms of girls dying to get in his car and there was me, who was too scared and too chicken shit to take that step since the accident,
“Don’t be its fine” he beamed at me, almost searching me for something and took me by surprise when he took me by the hands and pulled me off the bench and towards him, I felt my knees shake and go weak and my heart rate increasing however he nodded towards the bench where our now cold food was “ so much for food huh?” we laughed before slowly walking back, it was quiet for a while before I broke the ice
“ So where did you come from before?” I asked him
“Oh,from Bodmin” he replied almost absentmindedly
“It’s supposed to be nice there isn’t it” he shrugged and sighed
“It’s ok I suppose”
“You sound sad” he looked at me and I swear I saw that his eyes were pleading, wanting to tell me something
“I was just thinking that’s all, Well I was wondering where we could go later, don’t worry” And I blushed, this time he saw as he just smiled “I’m doing something right” he muttered under his breathe, probably hoping I didn’t here so I pretended not to. Instead I cleared my throat and asked another question,
“So, pardon me for this, but your name suggests your Italian yet you don't sound it” he let out a muffled chuckle
“You can blame my mother for that one. SHE is Italian, but my father is American. He visited Italy one year on holiday and fell ‘for the most gorgeous woman there’ as he would say, they decided to leave most of it behind and emigrate to Britain where they settled and married, two years later they had me, my father wanted to call me Douglas but… mother insisted I be called Leonardo as it said I was strong, noble and proud” he smiled, probably at old memories.

  We were fast approaching college and it was almost the end of lunch, I didn’t want the break to end, but if that meant one step closer to finishing today… then so be it, I was wilfully smiling at Leo when I noticed Claire was outside talking to Matt ‘Finally got the balls to talk to him did you?’ I playfully mocked in my head as I watched them both, but as soon as Claire saw me… I could tell I was in her bad books and she wasn’t going to back down.
“Where have you been!” she screamed to me and Leo and I exchanged looks “I have been worried sick! You ditched me!” one look at her face confirmed her worry; her eyes were franticly searching my face before darting to Leo and eyed him up from face to shoe, I began to open my mouth to explain when Leo cut me off again.
“Please, it’s my fault I… Bumped into Jen earlier at the start of lunch outside the canteen, and as we were talking I noticed we were getting in the way of others so I suggested we go take a walk… guess we walked further than we thought” He smiled his usual school boy smile but it didn’t work on Claire, she was still furious with me for ditching her earlier, Leo took this opportunity to cut between us both and head to class, leaving me with a worry that I had done something wrong towards him and a very angry Claire.