Lullaby

Chapter 36 - cold

 As I walked in my house I realised I still felt on edge, taking a deep breath I walked further in until I was once more in my kitchen… my dad was still not home… I thanked God, I didn’t feel up to seeing him… not just yet anyway. I couldn’t help but look around the room, it was nice to see windows and clean walls/floors again, and letting out a sigh I closed my eyes… taking in the fact that I was home… I was safe.

“Jen?” Leo’s voice startled me, making me jump

“Sorry… what’s wrong?”

“You seem… distracted” I turned around to see his eyes burning with concern, he took a few steps towards me and grabbed my hands but I just pulled them away and looked at the floor “Jen… what happened back there?”

“Nothing” I brushed past him and headed upstairs, it was wonderful that he had rescued me… but had he rescued me… or the monster that was willing to bring that place down? I went straight for the bathroom to look in the mirror, what I saw was my hair was all matted and knotted together, my face covered in dirt and dust, there were cuts and bruises lining my pale skin, my clothes were all dirty and the bags under my eyes were dark and deep too… I really did look a mess. I stared at my reflection for a while, I did not look like myself at all… in fact the person I was looking at, scared me.

“Jen…” Leo whispered, knocking on the door as he entered

“I look like shit” I traced my finger along the bruises, flinching a little as it touched the more fresher ones “It’s lucky my father isn’t here…”

“No you don’t my sweet… that bastard is going to pay” he scowled

“Don’t” in the mirror I saw his eyes widen so I turned to face him “I’m a monster just like him”

“Don’t you ever say that!” he stepped towards me again, but I stepped back

“It’s true… just before you came I was about to do something… something awful” I bit my lip and looked down to the floor, I didn’t want to tell him but I knew I was going to have to… I knew that I was going to lose him as soon as I told him too… “ But I can’t tell you”

“Why?” he stepped forward and this time he grabbed my shoulders “Tell me” I looked down at the floor but he just tilted my head back up.

“I nearly brought the place down… I wanted to kill everything there… I nearly covered Romain in rock… it was covering half of him when I made myself stop… which was just before you broke in” he didn’t move and he didn’t stay anything, he just stood there with his hands fixed on my shoulders “I’m a monster… it would have been better to leave me there”

“What made you do that?” his voice was slightly shaky, although he did his best to hide it I could see right through the little charade… he was afraid of me

“I had this ‘gift’ as everyone says, bestowed upon me by Aphrodite and Pen… I felt the power… she instructed me to break free, so I was trying to do that… everything was rumbling, breaking, shattering… you just name it… but Romain walked in halfway through, warned me that the building was going to fall down, killing hundreds if I didn’t stop… I asked if there was any humans… he didn’t answer… so I felt no need to spare them, I didn’t want to” I shrugged his shoulders away and sat on the edge of the bath “He mentioned some things about my previous lives that also related to the Nephilim… he wanted me to join him” he began to swear but I just ignored him “But I got so angry with everything… hated him, hated being what I was… that… that I lost control of my power”

  He stared at me, his eyes wide and his face drained…I must have seemed like such a monster to him, I knew that any minute now he was going to walk out that door and leave for good… I wasn’t the sweet little Isabella that he loved, I was nothing like any of them… he would be better off thinking I was a monster.