caught up ; mattia polibio

✰ chapter 20 ✰

songs for this chapter- eyes closed by halsey and high school sweethearts by melanie martinez 

mattia's pov

the end of the day had to come quicker. i was sitting in my last period ten minutes before dismissal anxiously. i was getting a ride home with alivia after school and was finally going to break off this miserable fling. i put on a chill playlist to try to get me out of this state of mind. after what felt like an entirety the bell finally rang and i made my way to her parking spot. i waited until i heard the door unlock and got in the passenger alivia soon following. she flashed the fakest smile, "hey mattia." i crosses my arms and sighed. god i felt like such a d!ck. i turned to face her, looking out the window to avoid eye contact. it took a minute for me to collect my thoughts.

"listen liv," i paused and took a deep breath, "i can't do this. i don't feel real feelings for you and i can't fake it anymore. i'm so sorry." she had zero reaction. i was beyond confused. "you like in shock orrrr just..." she cut me off, "i don't like you either. i'm about to tell you something i've never told anyone ever." she sighed, "mattia i uhhhh..." she closed her eyes and said in almost a whisper, "i like girls."

wow. i had no words. never did i expect that alivia parrish would end up being a lesbian. wow. just wow. i was really proud of her for telling me because that must've been really difficult but it's just...wow. i stared at her for awhile. "i'm proud of you liv. i'm sure i'm not the first to know but-" she cut me off. "actually..." she looked out the window, "you are." wow. that must've been even harder then. i was so proud of alivia right now. i smiled at her, "i'm glad you told me. baby steps are important too." she thanked me and looked like she was on the verge of tears. finally, we pulled out of the school parking lot. the ride was silent for a couple minutes until i broke that.

"hey alivia?" she kept her eyes on the road, "yes mattia?" i looked down at the floor and sighed. i had to tell her. "i still like deja." she laughed, "dude i know." she kept laughing, "we ALL know." i shook my head. oh shit, is it really that obvious? "wish i could stay the same to you but NOBODY really knew obviously." we laughed for awhile. even though i didn't like alivia like that i think this might be a good friend to have. we both support each other and really get one another.

we decided to stay friends but still go to formal together because why not. we promised each other we wouldn't say a word about the other's secret and then she dropped me off. i thanked her for the ride and made my way up to my driveway. i opened the door and went downstairs to my bed. i laid down and just thought about deja. seeing her in study hall the other day and not being able to say a word to her really aches my heart. i can't even speak to the girl i'm in love with. this is the worst feeling in the world.

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alivia's pov

i was so happy i finally came out to somebody. hearing that mattia was proud of me made me so emotional. i couldn't thank him enough.

Snapchat
me: tysm for ur kind words <3
mattia: np liv. i really am proud of you 🖤
received 2 min ago)

everything was good right now. i came out to mattia, i was still going to formal with him so it didn't look sus, and so on. it finally felt like somebody was in my corner. i laid down staring at the ceiling unable to stop smiling. wow. somebody knows my biggest secret and it feels so good.

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yay alivia!! she finally came out 🥺 i wanted to make things good for the supporting characters bc the plot is so focused on mattia and deja most of the time. the winter formal will be soon and i have something really fun planned for that. tysm for all the support in such little time guys. i love writing this and it means a lot <3