A Spam Book

Daybreak's Crest Incorrect Quotes 2

While writing the last incorrect quotes I remembered that half of the characters I wrote stuff about haven't actually shown up yet (even though I've already started writing the chapters with them in it) so... they don't make sense. Whoops. Well, er, never mind! (I'll try get some more Capricorn, Virgo and Leo ones maybe when I post their chapters?)

Also, school started today! And I'm tired and I have Spanish aurals in about a week but my brain refuses to cooperate so... yeah.

-x-x-x-

Pisces: You're smiling, did something good happen?
Scorpio: Can't I smile because I feel like it?
Sagittarius: Aries tripped on the stairs and fell.

Libra: Is there a word for a mix between angry and sad?
Virgo: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated...
Gemini: Smad.

Sagittarius: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
Capricorn: You're a hazard to society.
Leo: And a coward. Do twenty.

Libra: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd be excited to just have a bunk bed! (or an actual bed so we stop camping out in the middle of the wilderness)
Cancer: ...
Gemini: ...
Leo: I'm going to tell him –
Aquarius: Don't you dare.

Cancer: How do we usually get out of these messes?
Taurus: We don't. Aries and Sagittarius just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.

Sagittarius: Here you are, a nice hot cup of coffee!
Taurus: It's cold.
Sagittarius: A nice cup of coffee!
Taurus: It's horrible!
Sagittarius: A cup of coffee.
Taurus: I'm not sure if it's coffee.
Sagittarius: Cup.

Sagittarius: Cancer, I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Cancer: You know, I'm not really a jewellery person...
Sagittarius: Oh, well – you don't have to wear it...
Cancer: No, I'm going to wear it forever, back off.

Pisces: So, let's start by talking about the the emotion you're feeling right now.
Aquarius: Stabbing.
Pisces: Stabbing isn't really an emotion, it's more of an activity that I hope you don't do to me. See, an emotion is more of a feeling.
Aquarius: Well, maybe I'm feeling stabby.

Scorpio: *coming back from a supply run in a village and sees people running around panicking and trying to put out a fire* Oh goddesses, what idiots.
Scorpio: *after realising its Aries and Sagittarius* Oh no, those are my idiots.

Pisces: I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous.
Aquarius: Holding a knife to their throat usually does it for me.
(Libra: As a boy, I completely agree.)

Aries: Scorpio gave me a get better soon card.
Gemini: That's sweet!
Aries: I wasn't sick, he just thought I could do better.

Gemini: I mean, small creatures are more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.
Aquarius: Ridiculous. Give me one more example of this.
Gemini: Terriers.
Libra: Wasps.
Sagittarius: Cancer.

Scorpio: I hate you with every inch of my body.
Aries: That's not a lot of inches. (is promptly murdered)

Scorpio: I know you snuck out last night, Aries von Deistos. Tell me, what were you doing?
Aries (thinking): Play dumb.
Aries: Who's Aries von Deistos?
Aries (thinking): Not that dumb!!

Gemini: Surgery is just stabbing things to life!
Libra: Please never become a surgeon.

Cancer: How do I politely tell someone I want to hit their face with a brick several times?
Capricorn: One wishes to acquaint your facial structure with a rigidly edged object fundamentally used in the construction of walls repeatedly.

Aquarius: Why is Pisces standing on the table?
Taurus: *standing next to the table, with Pisces victoriously patting his head* ...She likes to be tall.

Pisces: You ever feel like you're being watched?
Leo: All the time. When you look this good, you get used to it.

Gemini: Don't worry, I have a permit.
Scorpio: ...This just says 'I do what I want'.

Aries: Remember the time you dared me to lick the fencepost? (because... swings probably don't exist)
Sagittarius: I didn't dare you to lick the fencepost, Scorpio and I said 'don't lick the fencepost' and you said 'don't tell me what to do' and licked the fencepost

Pisces: If you kill a murderer, the number of murderers in the world remains the same.
Aquarius: Kill two of them.
(Gemini: Isn't that what we already do?)

Sagittarius: Don't worry, you've got everything you need to defeat them.
Libra: The power to believe in myself?
Sagittarius: No, a sword.
Sagittarius: Stab them.

Alternate Responses to being told "I love you."
Pisces: Thanks!
Aries: *laughs nervously* (unless–)
Virgo: Um... I'm sorry.
Leo: Who doesn't?
Capricorn: A horrible decision, really.
Cancer: *laughs hysterically* No.
Sagittarius: *finger guns*
Aquarius: *stares blankly while polishing sword*
Taurus: Why?
Gemini: YEET!
Scorpio: If only there was someone out there who loved you.
Libra: Aww, I love you too! You're an amazing friend!