| VEXED |

chapter | Fifty Four

Song for chapter: Waves by Dean Lewis. 

You should really blast this while your reading, it will just accentuate the very last chapter. Okay, I'm done now, enjoy. xoxo <3

Alex

All seven of us stood around the fresh dirt that sat in front of the headstone that read Jordyn Avery  in big bold letters. 

I fiddled with the ends of my black dress and felt a tear slip down my cheek once more. We all stood in deafening silence, but the silence somehow told each of us we were feeling the same way. 

I walked over to the side of the headstone and laid down a single rose in front of it. I brought my fingers to my lips and kissed them, before setting them on the stone. "We won," I whispered, before smiling slightly. I looked over at Ryan, who walked over and set his rose beside mine, and rested his hand on my shoulder, before walking away.

Elena set hers down, and I looked at the bump her stomach now had. She rubbed my arm and smiled at me, I did the same before she walked off with Ryan. "Alex, this is for J.J." Paisley made her way over to me and set a few freshly picked little yellow flowers down on top of the roses.

"His favorite color was yellow," I responded, pulling her into my arms tightly. "I'm so glad you're home." I rubbed her back and she giggled. "I missed you." she smiled, she lost a tooth while she was gone I saw. 

"I miss uncle Jordyn." she whispered as she looked down at her little hands. "He will watch over you, forever." I rubbed her tiny arm and she nodded slowly. "Like mommy?" she asked. "Just like mommy." I nodded, I felt another tear fall down my cheek. 

"Now follow uncle Ryan to the car, ill be right there," I responded, trying to smile at her. She nodded before trotting off, catching up to Ryan.

I stood up and brushed off my dress, I wiped tears from under my eyes while I was at it. I turned around and saw Ethan, Jackson, and Grayson standing there silently with there heads down. 

"You guys ready?" I asked, and they nodded. We all had a silent walk back to the car and made our way back home. 

*

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, then saw the knob turning. I looked up and saw Ethan walk in. 

"Just wanted to see how you were doing." he spoke after a moment, and I motioned for him to walk over. 

I picked up my blanket, and he looked at me for a moment before getting under them. he rested his head on my headboard, and I scooted over to him. I laid my head on his chest, and he rubbed my back slowly.

"It hurts E." I admitted, and I felt my voice break a little. I didn't want to cry anymore. "I know baby, and it will for a while." He said calmly as he brought me closer to him. 

"I feel so bad for Ryan." I said after a moment, "You can't take on everyone's pain, just work on healing." He responded and I nodded. He was right.

"I don't think I have ever felt fear as much as I did when Des had a gun pointed at you." I sat up to look at him. He looked down at me, we were only a few inches apart from each other.

"I'm right here." he said softly, and I nodded slowly. "I can't imagine what it would be like to lose you Ethan." my voice cracked just saying that. he brought his hand to my face and rubbed his thumb across my cheek. 

"Don't think about that right now." he responded. I laid my head back on his chest and stared at the wall in front of me. "I just can't believe Des is really my mom, or that Larce isn't my dad. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that he isn't, but still." I spoke.

"do you want to talk about that whole situation?" he asked, but I shook my head. "No, not yet." I responded. 

"From now on we just need to finish senior year, and be teenagers," I added and he giggled a little. "I agree." he rubbed my arm. 

"for now, I just want to think about you in my arms. You're safe and you're here, that's all that matters to me." Ethan spoke after a moment, and I looked up at him. 

he looked down at my lips and back at my eyes. for once I went in first, I closed the space between us. I pressed my lips to his gently, and his hand came up to my face. He pulled back and looked down at me.

"I love you so much." he spoke softly, looking in my eyes. "I love you." I responded, before laying my head back on his chest. I heard his heartbeat steadying, and I closed my eyes to the sound of it.

So much has happened since I have met him. We fell in love, we got hurt, we fought, then literally fought. 

Not to mention this whole Mortel ordeal. I don't know how he has stuck with me throughout everything. 

This year overall so much went down. I joined the gang, my sister passed away, I got paisley, Elena got pregnant, I was stabbed (countless times), Ethan got shot and almost died, I found out Larce wasn't my dad, and met my mom, also Jordyn passing.

My mind will have to process these moments forever, trying to make sense of them. I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason, whatever path I'm being led on I hope there is a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. Even if there isn't, I know Ethan will be there to guide me through the darkness.

Somehow he always does, lead me out of the darkness. Loving someone with every single nerve in your body can leave you feeling vexed, but also leave you feeling complete at the end of the day. 

As long as I have him by my side, I think I'll be all right. Whatever the future holds for us, we'll be ready. After everything we've been through, I don't think there is much the universe can throw at us that we couldn't handle.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep to the sound of his heart beating. If I wake up and he's still here, I think I can weather any storm. 

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I really hope you guys liked this book and the last few chapters overall. Thank you guys so so so much for reading Lucid, and Vexed, it truly means so much to me. I'm emotionally attached to these two books, they were my firsts. 

I have some more that are unpublished that I have been working on, I might start to publish one. I'm not sure yet. 

Anyway, thanks again. I love you guys... xoxo

THE END...

OR IS IT...