Hermitcraft Short Stories

The Teddy Bear

Author's note: I was supposed to work on another story, but I got frustrated with it and remembered this idea, so I wrote this instead.

Description: A teddy bear shows up in Grian's base.

Xisuma chuckled maniacally as he sewed the zipper inside the giant stuffed teddy bear he was doctoring for a prank. He bought the biggest bear with the longest fur that he could get his hands on, and even though it wasn't much bigger than him, (Mumbo and Doc could have fit in snugly height wise) the fur was long enough to help hide the zipper in the back in case his victim saw the back despite him sewing the zipping mechanism on the inside of the bear. This would be epic.  When he was done sewing he set up a camera and climbed into the bear before turning on his phone and checking the cam.  The bear looked a little unstuffed, so X pulled some back in; he experimented for hours trying to get the bear to look right, and when he was done, he bagged up the stuffing he needed to add, took the bear, and flew the short distance to Grian's base.

He set up the camera in a hidden spot in Grian's base by his water elevators and his phone before stuffing himself.  Once he was done, he switched accounts and sent Grian a message on discord.

'Hey, Grian. Left you a present in your base.'

And he waited. It felt like hours of sitting on a cold, hard concrete slab with very minimal padding before Grian finally flew into his base.

"Awww, what a cute teddy bear." he squealed brightly, grinning.

Xisuma fought back giggles as Grian approached.

"And it looks big enough to sit on and snuggle."

He sat on the bear's lap, snuggling into it with his head in the bear's chest.  Xisuma waited for Grian to get comfortable before he acted.  All at once, X wrapped his arms around Grian's chest, pinning his captive's arms, and he locked his legs around Grian's.  Grian screamed and thrashed as hard as he could, but the struggling only amounted to a few seconds of the bear loosening its grip ever so slightly before going back to the tight hug, and his ear-splitting panicked shrieks were somewhat muffled by the bear's fluff.  In the moment, Xisuma lost all his composure and started maniacally laughing, which made Grian thrash and scream even more.

Eventually, the evil teddy let go, and Grian jumped up and dashed to the other side of the room and took out his phone, whole body quivering as he dialed a number.

"Mumbo, Iskall, please come to my base. There's an evil teddy bear here." X stayed silent during the call.

"What do you mean I'm being crazy?" Grian said, stomping his foot in frustration, "Just come over and you'll see."

He hung up the call and waited.  Being the good friends they were, neither of them dilly-dallied despite how ridiculous an evil teddy bear sounded.  An evil idea popped into Xisuma's head.

Mumbo glanced around the room and pointed at the bear off to the side.  It didn't really seem like much to him besides a 6 foot almost generic looking teddy bear.  "Is that your evil bear?" He asked, pointing to it.

Grian nodded as Iskall and Mumbo went to investigate.

"Grian, what did it do to make you think it was evil?" Iskall asked.

"I sat on it, and it just grabbed me and didn't let go." Grian shivered. "It even started giggling."

"Hmmmm," Iskall sat on the bear. He waited, but nothing happened. "It didn't grab me. Mumbo, you try it."

Mumbo went over to the bear and sat on it just as long as Iskall had. "Yeah, I'm not getting grabbed either. Your turn Grian."

Grian looked over at Mumbo like he was crazy. "Are you insane Mumbo? What if that thing grabs me again?"

"Then Iskall and I will see it, and we'll be able to save you," Mumbo replied.

"Yeah dude, if the bear attacks you, we'll be here."

Grian gulped before going up to the bear and sitting down on its lap.  It stayed still for a while until Grian finally dropped his guard, and it dropped a limp am weakly across his stomach.   Grian threw the arm off him and bolted to Mumbo and Iskall, who by now were calling all the other Hermits to investigate this.

The server slowly started filing into Grian's base to see this evil teddy, though most of them didn't believe it; everyone took a turn sitting on the bear's lap, but they all started believing it was animate when they saw it drop a limp arm on Stress, Scar, and Zedaph.  Iskall, False, and Bdubs huddled on the far side of the room discussing how they could possibly murder an evil teddy bear with the straightest faces they could muster for the occasion.  The limp arm victims were standing behind them in case the bear got up and went after them.  On another side of the room, Mumbo had to keep Doc and Cub away.  Everyone else was between each of the groups and the bear.  Tango stood the closest with his back turned to the evil stuffed animal while talking to Impulse when they heard an evil cackle causing them both to jump back in surprise and drew everyone's attention to them.

"It giggled! It's evil and needs to die!" Tango shouted, pointing accusingly at the bear.

Impulse turned to the murder huddle. "You got any ideas on how to kill this thing?"

They all shook their heads.

"What do we need to kill?"

Everyone turned their heads up to Grian's door to see Cleo walking in. "What's going on?"

"Hello Cleo," Joe greeted as she jumped down to the group, "We seem to have an evil teddy bear on our hands. It grabbed Grian and moved on Scar, Zed, and Stress.  Now we're trying to figure would what to do with it." Joe turned to the bear. "Though I'm not really sure what we can do to an evil animate teddy bear."

The evil bear started laughing again and rose to its feet before sitting back down with a thud, causing everyone to jump back. "See, that thing is evil! We gotta kill it."

An idea came to Joe, and he let out a loud gasp. "Grian, where did this bear come from?"

"I don't know. Someone sent me a message saying it was in my base."

"Do you know who sent the message?"

"No. Not at all." He then pulled it up to show Joe.

Joe nodded, "Cleo, can you kick it for me."

Cleo made a face. "Um, okay," she said, going up to the bear, lifting her leg, and kicking it with full force in the chest.

The bear started gasping as if the kick winded it. "I felt something solid in there," she said.

"Okay, we may not be dealing with an evil teddy bear," Joe started, "But I feel like we're dealing with Evil X." Joe gave all his friends time to dramatically gasp before continuing. "I believe Evil X got back on the server, dressed up as a teddy bear, and decided to mess with us by making it look like evil."

By this time X had caught his breath and noticed how downhill everything was about to get, so he tried to leave the bear outfit; however, the zipper stuck. "Hey guys, it's just me Xisuma. No need to worry about Evil X. Can you help me out of here? The zipper's stuck."

"Dudes, Ex even got a voice changer to sound more like Shiswammy." Keralis yelled, pointing at what he thought was the evil version of Xisuma.

"He's even more prepared than I thought," Joe said.

Xisuma, still in the bear costume, stood up. "No, it's me, X. I'm serious."

"Nice try Evil X." Tango snarled, "now sit back down. We'll decide what to do from there."

Things were beginning to look bad for X when he remembered he set up a camera.  He quickly switched the feed from his phone to his helmet before sprinting towards the elevator, dodging arrows but still taking some nasty hits.  He shrugged them off, knowing that if he made it to the elevator, he'd have a shot.

This would be one of the biggest derps of his life.

Grian had a similar idea when the bear with an evil man stood up and ran.  He was a few feet away from the elevator when he turned back to see the bear bearing down on him.  He shrieked before slapping the bear.

Xisuma was killed by Grian.