he's in the rain [pentagon]

a gloomy day

the rain was pounding his head

the rain was fighting the voices

but it wasn't loud enough

the voices were winning

***

shinwon acted upon impulse and grabbed a suit case from under his bed, he started shoving his things into it while he sobbed. no one wanted him here then why should he be here? he made sure he had his necessities before opening his bedroom window and zipping his suit case to be sure it was closed. he heard his hyungs and yuto talking downstairs. he saw the opprotunity and jumped out the window with his stuff and started walking, if he took the car people would notice.

shinwon was walking down a sketchy street, homeless people and dangerous people littering the streets, his clothes were drenched in rain and his hair lay flat on his head. he had been catcalled three times in the past hour he had been walking. his face was emotionless. his heart holding all the emotions for him. his phone started ringing, out of enstinct he grabbed it to see who it was, it was yanan. his thumb hovered over the answer button but he didn't press it. rather he hit the ignore button and pocketed his phone.

"hmm that's weird shinwon-hyung isn't answering." yanan said as he got on the bus with his friend jun. "probaly busy." jun said simply. "yeah~" yanan giggled happily.

"how is little chan doing in middle school?" yanan asked. "he's liking it." jun answered looking at the other lovingly.

"wait one second junnie, hyung is calling" yanan said answering hongseok's phone call. after the phone call was done yanan stayed quiet.

"what's the matter?" jun asked holding the boys hand tightly. "shinwon-hyung is missing from home." yanan said looking at elder. "oh my god, i'll tell my family to be on the look out." jun said pulling out his phone and going to his family group chat.

shinwon had two hundred dollars in his wallet, as he was walking he saw a gas station, he grabbed a few drinks and snacks and looked at the wall behind the cashier.

"will be this all?" the man asked, "c-can i have a pack of marbolo's too?" he asked quietly. "of course, your total is $12.78" the man smiled grabbing a pack for the man.

"um i need a lighter too" he laughed. "don't worry about that." the man said handing the younger one of his own lighters, one with his phone number on it.

shinwon smirked and payed for his things before going outside to smoke. he liked the feeling as it burned his lungs. he took out his phone and added the number on the lighter to his phone. he sent the man a text as he walked with the cigarette in between his teeth. he sent a message along the lines of "i'm the guy you gave your lighter too." he sat down in abandoned building he had found earlier. the guy started hitting on him. shinwon felt bad when he was talking to the man but it felt so good to have attention. and then he found out how old the man was. the cute boy from the store was double shinwon's age. he was thirty two. shinwon sighed and thought long and hard about what he should do.

shinwon stopped answering the man, and instead started scrolling through his instagram. looking back at all the fun photos he had saved. one of his favorites was when they had just adopted yuto. yuto, wooseok, and kino were two in the photo, yanan and changgu were four, shinwon was five, hongseok and hyojong were six, hoetaek was seven and jinho was eight. they were at the water park, yanan, hongseok, hyojong, and hoetaek were splashing jinho excitedly, yuto, changgu, and kino were giggling at wooseok who was having trouble swimming towards their eomma and appa. and shinwon was playing alone under the sprinklers, it reminded him of the rain. as he stared at it more he realised how out of place he was. had he really always been out of place? his hyungs were in school so they needed attention, his other brothers were very young, yanan and yuto had just been adopted they needed attention and along the way shinwon got pushed out of the picture.