The Willies' Hook ✔

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

THE WILLIES' HOOK

COPYRIGHT 2014 © JOESLINE

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

I scrolled down on the phone, swiping at the endless feeds on the Facebook. My lips pressed tightly as I stared at the smiles on their face - Louis and Rachel. My eyes soften as I let out a sigh. Repeatedly telling myself, 'It doesn't matter'. 

As I drifted in my aimless thought, a gentle knock awakened me. I looked up at my colleague, Janette as she looked at me with shifty eyes. Frowned at her reaction, I responded. "What?"

She lowered herself so that her whisper could be heard in clarity, "The new management is coming in today."

I nodded in folded arms with the confusion lingered behind my thoughts. Then she screeched under her breath, "He's one Bachelor, not bachelorette or married!" 

I shrugged, "But he might be attached. To think the worst already had girlfriends. "My eyes rolled at the couple pictures that I stalked, "- let alone the more eligible ones." 

Janette backed away, in disapproval at my comments. "But you are not." 

I giggled, chuckled sarcastically at my own wound. "It was my damn luck... "

But before I could finish, Janette cut in my unfinished sentence, "- that you found someone and he's dead."

Her eyes stared deep into my pain. I frowned, fidgeted at the uneasiness between us before I looked away.

She let out a sigh, patted on my shoulder, "It's not your fault that he is gone." 

I hissed, "it is" My eyes stared back at her with tears dwelling at the edges of my eyes, "and we should drop the subject." 

Janette didn't budge in on compromise, "Cam, first lesson of overcoming pain is not running away from it." 

I folded my arms, in denial at her words. "I didn't." 

She pointed at the name label on my work station, "Look. The wealthiest in town is working as an administrator in a small company." And she folded her arms, throwing stares at me. "How's that not?" 

I slammed on the desk, "Don't touch on that. My family doesn't define me."

Janette breathed in deeply as she raised her eyebrow. "I heard your dead lover was closely related to your family side."

I gulped down my saliva. My shivers sent terror at the denial which I had choose - escaping from everyone I knew whom knew Jack and role-played myself doing a routine work job in Ralph Sports for the past six months. 

"Hey..." Janette voice softened, she looked at me with empathy. "I will never understand how much it hurts but... you got to pick yourselves up." Then she shrugged, raising her eyebrows. "I will forsake this opportunity and give it to you."

I looked up in confusion,"What opportunity? " 

Then she turned to the entrance with eyes almost bulging out as her words formed in broken pieces, "He is... oh gosh, that looked like a Greek God." I followed her attention and saw the guy that walked in. Eyes froze at that man as my heart rest in settled rhythms. 

--

"You should come..." Her hand held the Starbucks drink steadily in the grip, walking along the side as we returned back to office. 

I didn't respond. My dead silence would have been clear enough as an answer. 

Then she had her hand grabbed my arm, "Cam, talk to me." Her eyes frowned as she continued,"-you have to stop keeping everything to yourselves." 

I let out a sigh, taking one mouthful of Green Tea Latte as I allowed it lingered between my tongue.  "He is dead because of me. He is dead because he saved me. He is dead and... Gone." 

Tears slide down from the edge of my eyes while I felt the overwhelming emotions coming back to me, "I-I... saw him taking his last breath and then, gone..." My eyes narrowed, looking back at Janette;"-like motionless gone. ". 

My hand grabbed my chest tightly as I felt the pain twisting inside me. Sobbing accompanied the choking tears, "and every day when I see all of them, his shadow lingers... returning me back to the image of him taking his last breath."

I frowned, looking back at Janette.  "The pain was just... unbearable to that extent, I felt like a crap hole surviving with them. And I just want to run away from this stupid, shitty drama."

Biting my lips,  I breathed in deeply. "For the first time, I just can't feel proud anymore of who I am or where I came from. It seemed everything went down when he is gone. I don't know what to believe in anymore." 

Shaken terror brought me back to the guilt that I had hid it safely to the darkest part of my heart, "Because who I am had cost his life ."

--

Eyes scanned the room. I fell hard on the floor, my knee cap hurts. I frowned at the pain as I grabbed tightly of the chest. Gulping down my saliva, I recapped what Janette said - first lesson of overcoming is not running away. 

Breathing in deeply, I seized at the tension. My fingers crawled to the luggage, empty and vacant. I started picking a few pieces of folded clothes from the wardrobe. Slowly, all of the clothes inside the wardrobe were emptied out and stuffed into the luggage. My eyes scanned to the dresser table. I bit my lips as I breathed in deeply again. My hands reached to the bottle of toner and dumped into the little bag in my grip. I did the same with the rest, brushing the other skincare products as well right into the little bag. My leg brought me to the deepest of my heart as I grabbed tightly on the Sim card. I shut my eyes tightly before I slotted inside the mobile phone. Finger held on the switch button as the screen of the phone lightened up. Then, the notifications came flooding in. 

There, my eyes stared at the unseen five hundred messages, seven hundred missed calls and countless of voice mails. 

I breathed in deeply as I scrolled at the log; last one was from Felicia which she just left another voice mail that was ten minutes ago. I dialed a few digits as I held it closely to my ear. The voice mail was opened and Felicia was letting out a sigh.

She uttered, "Cam..." And a silence stumbled between before she continued, "I wondered if you could hear this but... maybe I am just talking to myself. Yet, I still hope that you can hear this." 

I frowned as tear slide down from my eyes. 

Felicia continued to speak in a hoarse voice, "Everyone worries about you and we are all still at home, waiting for you to come back. Cam, we love you and you are not alone in this." 

I gulped down my saliva, ended the call, shaken guilt swam at me as I watched the room again. I had denied my family and escaped for six months. Janette was right. This was not the way to deal with my grief. Wiping off the tears, I dialed a few numbers and then I heard the voice I hadn't been talking to. 

"Hello? Cam?" 

"Felicia." I acknowledged, "I am coming back home"