high hopes [baby avengers and reader]

chapter eighteen

After hours of training, Agent Ward decided that that you needed rest.

You almost laughed at the idea, considering how restless you felt. So, instead of reading or napping, you wandered around the bus.

After a few minutes, you managed to make your way to Coulson's office, which was empty at the moment. It was fairly small in size and very well organized.

You looked around the room, and in the process, noticed the trading cards that little Steve had signed for him. You gingerly picked one up, smiling sadly as you looked over the scribbled signature with a numb expression.

"You ok?" Coulson asked softly, from behind you.

You hadn't noticed him enter the room and simply sighed, running your fingers over the flimsy piece of paper. "No, I'm not." You said quietly. "That is, unless you found them yet." You added, turning to look at the compassionate man with slightly guilty blue eyes.

He shook his head sadly. "No, but we have a lead. Sky is good at this kind of stuff, we'll find them soon, I'm sure." His gentle voice assured.

"I sure hope so..." You said, putting the card back in its place.

"How is your training going?" Phil asked, walking over to his desk as you sat down on the seat in front of it.

"Good. I was meaning to thank you for that. I know they wouldn't have wanted me to help otherwise." You said with a small smile.

"It's the least I could do." He said, returning the smile.

. . .

A half hour later and you were training once more, and Ward was very impressed with how fast you were learning.

And by the end of the day, you were exhausted. Right now you were laying down on your simple bed with white sheets covering it.

Everyone else was asleep, except Sky and Coulson, who refused to quit working.

Originally, you had wanted to continue training with Agent Ward, but he insisted that you needed rest in order to learn more tomorrow. But you were hoping to find them tomorrow. You wanted to be ready.

However, Ward convinced you that he knew what was best, considering that he was your trainer.

Well, convinced you enough so that you would go to bed.

You thought that you would sleep easily, given how hard you worked today. But with your sweet babies, and adolescent Tony now gone, there was no way that was going to happen.

You tossed and turned in your bed, trying to cast worry aside, until your thoughts drifted off to a memory you had of them...

"Gather round my little ones. I have an announcement to make." You said excitedly.

The children as well as Tony, all emerged from whatever they were doing at the time and circled around you in the living room.

"What's going on?" Asked little Natasha.

You had already called S.H.I.E.L.D ahead of time and they were prepared to defend the little ones if harm came to them while out in the world. So, feeling confident, you exclaimed, "We are going to the mall!"

"Sweet!" Said Clint, while the others looked dumbfounded.

"____, what is this, "mall". And more importantly, does it involve green?" Loki spoke up intellectually, his arms crossed in suspicion and his eyes a little dimmer than usual.

"And even more importantly, is there food?!" Thor bellowed with much concern.

"Is it dangerous?" Asked Steve, all business as he grabbed his tiny shield.

You giggled, as you always did when he did this. He was just too adorable.

"Yes there is green, no it isn't inherently dangerous, and Thor, there is an entire section dedicated to food."

His eyes lit up and he grabbed his hammer, lifting it up to the sky as he yelled, "To the Mall!!!"

You shook your head while smiling then picked him up, holding him in one arm. "Come on, let's all go to the car." You said, but as you reached down to hold Loki's hand, he had his arms crossed and his back towards you. You looked confused and put Thor down, who was now a little confused at first before noticing a poptart in your bag by the door and grabbed it.

You looked to Tony for the answer as to why Loki was upset, but he just shrugged.

"Can you take them to the car, I need to talk to Loki." You said politely, wondering what caused the little prince to be so upset.

"Sure thing honey." He said, then turned to look at all of the kids. "Alright you booger monsters, we're going to the garage.

When they all left, you kneeled beside Loki and gently touched his shoulder, but he nudged you away and took a step forward to further the distance between you two.

"Loki, what's wrong?" You asked, feeling worried. He had never been this angry at you before.

He didn't say anything in response. He just stood there wearing his tiny version of his Asgardian armor.

"Loki...?" You said, then reached over and gently turned him around, revealing that his eyes were overcome by tears and his cheeks were flushed a reddish color, that told of anguish.

Upon seeing his condition you immediately hugged him, trying to somehow transfer how much you cared about him through it.

When you pulled away you asked, "Why are you so upset dear?"

"You love Thor more than me." He muttered sadly, his voice a little broken as more tears filled his blue eyes.

You looked a little confused at first until you realized that today Thor had been unusually clingy.

He had been insistent on cooking in the kitchen with you, to which he made a mess and you had to give him a bath, and then he asked you how to play "red hands" and then you played with the playdough together.

Clearly, Loki had been quite hurt by this, getting the impression that you long since feared he might get for one reason or another. And when he saw you pick Thor up instead of himself... Well, he just couldn't take it.

"That isn't true Loki. I love you dearly, you must know that." You assured with much honesty and kindess.

"Oh really?! Then why did you do all that stuff with him today?!" He said, raising his voice in such a way that sounded hurt, rather than disrespectful.

"Loki?"

"Yes...?"

"You know how I look at the sky every night, after I tuck you all in for bed?" You asked him, knowing that he was always awake during those times. He didn't sleep as well as his brother did.

"Yes..." He said.

"Well, every time I look at that night sky, and how those pure twinkling diamonds brighten it up, I think of you. I think about how special you are to me, and how... how I never want to lose you. Or any of you, I love you all so much."

He smiled just slightly. "Is that what you do when you look at the sky?"

You nodded with a faint smile. "I may be busy sometimes, and some people may try to say otherwise, but no matter what, never doubt that I love you. ...Ok?"

He nodded with happy little tears, a warm feeling washing over him like the sun rising up, announcing that the dawn has come.

His little arms wrapped around your neck and hugged you as he cried out all of his worries of being rejected by you with tears of sorrow and yet also mixed with happiness as well.

You felt tears of your own fall as you hugged the little boy you wanted to take care of. His heart was so broken and his soul so lost... But perhaps now things would change permanently and you would not have to worry about him anymore...

"Please don't leave me ok?" He said quietly as he sobbed against your shoulder, his voice vulnerable and tinted with what you knew in your heart to be part of his adult self coming through.

"I'd never think of it." You said, desperately hoping he'd never leave you, or reject you, or revert to his old self and forget you entirely.

"I don't ever wanna leave you, ___, never." He said, as if knowing exactly what your heart was needing to hear.

You had hoped in your heart at the time that it would be true. That somehow you could stop evil all on your own just by the amount of love you had for all of them, particularly Loki. But you couldn't, and that lit a fire deep inside you, anger and sorrow mixing together.

The people who kidnapped them would not stand a chance against you in this condition, you acknowledged this fact with pleasure. And now that you were trained properly...

Well, they just better stay out of your way.

. . .

Suddenly your door flew open and there was Agent Couslon, saying the words you had waited for. "We've