high hopes [baby avengers and reader]

chapter thirty one

As daylight streamed through, in a glowing chiffon of light through your bedroom window, you awoke with a joyful heart.

You and your little ones had made it back home.

Though it was still and quiet in this rather brisk early dawn, you didn't pay any mind. The little ones would be exhausted after that rather long trip back to the helicarrier and then home.

You had asked Phil, -you recalled as you poured yourself some cereal to eat- why you all were now allowed back to your home. And he had said that he thought it best to let the kids be in a more comfortable environment, and that there would be ample protection to keep you all safe.

The clinking of the spoon hitting your cereal bowl was all you heard for a few moments until it was joined by the sound of friendly footsteps.

Phil looked at you with an oddly serious face, or so you thought.

"Hello Coulson, did you sleep well?" You asked pleasantly with a smile, thinking that perhaps he was just tired from the insanely long weekened you just had.

"I've slept better.." He said quietly.

You stopped eating and looked up at the pale blue eyes of the honorable agent.
"What's the matter Coulson? Are the children okay?" You asked with concern, eyes darting toward their room for an instant.

He cleared his throat and then took a deep breath before replying. "Yes. But..."

"What is it Coulson, tell me." You said, with ever growing anxiety in your stomach.

"They're safe, but they..." He sighed once more, knowing it would be hard for you to hear. "They've grown up."

Your eyes remained locked onto his, numb, yet anxious. You had been dreading this moment since the day they had stolen your heart.

But where were they?!

You asked Coulson as much and he replied, "They are all back to their normal routines. Tony's in Stark Tower, Thor and Loki are in Asgard, Steve is working with Shield, as are Clint and Natasha, and Bruce is currently working on a project with Tony."

You looked down for a moment, suddenly feeling useless and incredibly isolated despite the kind agent being right infront of you.

You just couldn't wrap your mind around it. Just last night you had tucked them into bed and given them a kiss goodnight! Tony muttered a snarky remark, Loki cuddled his teddy bear, Thor snored obnoxiously, and the others were adorably sleeping against their fluffy pillows!

Your babies, your little ones, they... they didn't need you anymore. Or so you felt in the center of your motherly heart.

"Do they remember me at least?" You asked in a near whimper.

"I don't know. Fury insisted that they go back to their lives as if nothing happened. He didn't want anything to distrupt their re-aging process." Coulson responded. "Though, I'm not so sure that I agree with him..." He added, but it didn't seem to help the aching pain in your chest.

You felt tears start to build in your eyes and you covered your face with your hands to hide your sorrow, crying silently.

Phil looked sympathetic and walked over to you, putting an arm around your shoulder to comfort you. "Please don't cry." Coulson tried, hating to see you sad.

"I can't help it Phil, I miss them already!" You sobbed and leaned against him.

Phil sighed softly, then suddenly got an idea, and had a sneaky smirk on his face. "Nick didn't say how long you couldn't see them for..." He pointed out.

"Hmm?" You asked, wondering what he meant while you looked up at him.

He smiled softly and gently wiped away your tears. "You didn't see them most of last night... So technically I'd still be following orders if I let you see them now.."

In a flash, your eyes lit up and you threw your arms around him and gave him a greatful hug. "Thank you Phil, you don't know how much this means to me." You said earnastly, while he blushed profusely and gently hugged you back.

"I told you I'd prove you could trust me." He said with a smile once you had pulled away.

"And you have." You replied happily, before hurrying to your room to get dressed and packed.

It wasn't exactly great to have to re-pack and leave your home once again, but it honestly wasn't home now without them there anyway, and you were determined to see them again.

Once you had packed your things you went to their room and packed a few things that might help them remember you.

The thought stuck in your mind as you placed George the teddy bear into the bag full of mementos of their past.

What if they didn't remember you? It was always a question in the back of your mind, but it felt so much more real now.

"You almost ready?" Phil asked gently, just as you zipped up the bag.

"Yes." You nodded then looked at his empty hands. "Don't you need anything?"

"I pack light." He smirked and you chuckled.

.*.*.*

Once in the Shield vehicle, Coulson explained that he would be going to Stark Tower first, seeing as he needed time to convince Shield to allow you to truly spend time with them, and Asgard just wasn't possible to contact without Shield technology or so was the common thought.

And so, on the road again you went. The scenery flowing by and your mind worried and filled with questions.

"How come they were all different ages?" You asked Phil, seemingly out of nowhere. But, you were curious about it.

"We aren't sure." He replied. "But we think it was because of either two options, either Loki chose the ages for some specific purpose, or, it was completely random." Phil shrugged.

"I suppose we would have to ask Loki himself.." You murmered to yourself, then had another question. "Is Loki in prision?"

"Most likely. We let Asgardians deal with their own punishments. Shield has no influence over that, unless it is of the interest of Earth. But since he was with Thor, we were confident that he wouldn't be a problem."

"You don't think... You don't think they executed him do you?" You asked nervously.

"I can't be sure. With his mom gone -as Thor had explained to us before- he is the only one who believes that there is hope for Loki. Odin will listen to Thor if he tells him to put Loki in prision." Phil replied.

Entrapment, or death. Those were the only possible options... You desperately wanted to see your little boy again. Though, you knew he would be an adult, he was still your innocent little Loki to you.

"Do you think they will remember me?" You asked, a little shakiness to your voice.

"It's possible.. But they'd have to fight for it. There are two different sets memories, their older ones and younger ones. We realized that the kids that wanted to remember their adult life did remember more than those who didn't. For example, Natasha, if you knew her adult past you would see why she had completely accepted her new life as a child. Loki's adult self is bitter and wants to hold on to all of the hurts people have inflicted upon him, which is why he might have remembered much of what happened before."

The thought of Loki being bitter made your heart clentch in fear but Phil went on.

"Now Thor, he had fairly pleasant memories and was stubborn, so that could be why he also had a lot of his old qualities and memories. Because they were pleasant, he wanted them. Steve did not want to remember much of the past but did remember a few things, always wanting to be honorable; and so on." Coulson explained. "Fury told me this last night when we took the new adults back to their usual places."

"But didn't they find it odd that they were in a house?" You questioned.

"We used sleeping gas on them. It's harmless trust me. And we've asked all friends and family to act as if they've never left. It won't last long we know, but it will help them adjust."

You nodded and wrung your hands together nervously, worrying profusely about each one of them.

"We'll be there soon." Coulson assured kindly.

"I hope so..."


...Hours Later...

You had finally arrived to the newest edition to New York's skyline.

Stark Tower.

Walking through the modern front lobby, there was a cluster of businessmen chatting on their phones, and you looked around a bit while Phil showed the receptionist his badge and the woman gave you Tony's floor number and allowed you to head over to the elevator. You then stepped inside and pushed a button.

"Aren't you coming?" You asked Coulson, seeing as he stayed by the front door.

He shook his head. "I think it would be best if you went alone.."

And with that, the elevator doors closed. As the elevator crept up and up, you felt your anxiety rise with it, right up until the point where the doors opened and you walked through the doors and entered the spacious room.

"T-Tony?" You called, hoping he would come soon so you could end your misery.

And indeed he did come into the room, with a quizzical look on his face. "Hey."

He looked much like his teenage self, though a little less lean and with a bit more muscle. Same chocolate brown hair and matching deep eyes. A sarcastic smirk and tossled up hair. The slightly lanky teen was now a handsome man.

You smiled, unsure how to explain yourself or your arrival. "My name is ___... Do you remember me?" You asked nervously.

He looked up at the ceiling as he tried to see if he did. Finally he shook his head and looked back at you. "Sorry honey I don't. Old fling perhaps?" He asked.

"Don't call me honey." You corrected out of habit and suddenly his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Hello ____."

Overjoyed, you wrapped your arms around him into a tight hug, glad that he had remembered you.

He chuckled. "Now, how come I couldn't get you to do this before?"

You rolled your eyes and playfully slapped his arm. "Nothing has changed has it?" You smiled, as you pulled away.

"Not really. Just a heck of a lot more good-looking." He agreed rather arrogantly.

"And more snarky I'd say." You said with a good-natured smile.

"Why do you say that?" He laughed, knowing you were right.

"I can see it in your eyes." You explained, with a slight smirk, until you saw Bruce walk in and suddenly the anxiety had returned.

"What's going on?" Bruce asked calmly, while your eyes were wide eyed.

His curly-cues had loosened a bit, and his face obviously looked much more mature. But what saddened you was that his sweet, happy eyes had changed to being ones of half fear, half sanity. The optimism was drained from him, though, he exuded a strength about him and you could sense his long-enduring spirit.

"Bruce, this is ___. Remember her?" Tony asked, expecting him to.

"___? I... I don't recall." Bruce admitted. "Am I.. supposed to?"

"Yes." You said gently. "I cared for you for quite some time."

He shook his head, looking more confused, and would have asked you to leave, hadn't Tony seemed so sure of you.

"Look." You said, and unzipped your bag full of memories and gave Bruce his fuzzy baby blanket.

"Was this... mine?" Bruce asked, a little unsure.

You nodded and smiled. "You used to cuddle with it in your crib to keep you calm..."

Bruce held the blanket up to his face and could smell the comforting scent of home; your home. And suddenly the memories began to flood into his mind and he hurried over to you and gave you a hug.

"I remember now." Bruce said as he hugged you. "I remember when I learned how to say, "I love you". I was so proud of myself." He chuckled. "And I was so glad that I could make you happy, just by telling you how I felt. It made me feel safe. Just like this blanket." Bruce admitted, and gently pulled away, and wiped away a few loose tears that fell from your eyes.

"I'm so glad you remembered Bruce." You said greatfully. "And you too Tony."

They both smile adoringly and for a split second you could have sworn that Bruce had that same sweet, optomistic light in his eyes that he had when he was just a little baby in your loving arms...