Stonehearts 6: Alexandrite

Twenty Three

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Gio asked as he made a turn, two blocks away from where I work.

I shied away and turned to face the window at the passenger seat. "Looking at you like what?" pagmamaang-maangan ko.

This morning was a whirlwind for me. Simula nang napagtanto ko na mahal ko na si Gio, everything went from awkward to super, duper awkward.

Dati kaya ko pa siyang titigan sa mata, ngayon hindi na.

I've been stuck thinking how can I tell him my feelings. 'Yon lang ang tumatakbo sa isip ko simula nang bumaba sila ni Clyde, naihatid namin si Clyde, at ngayon heto, ihahatid niya ako.

Matagal na kasi akong walang experience kaya hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Should I just blurt it out? Or should I wait for the perfect timing?

Wait, does perfect timing exists? O gawa-gawa lang 'yon?

"Wifey, you gotta let me in your head. The expression on your face changes quite rapidly."

Napatitig ako sa repleksyon ko sa bintana, nakakunot na ang noo ko at nakasimangot na ako.

Wow, I didn't know I look this way when I'm overthinking.

"Lex...is everything okay? B-between us? Did I go overboard last night?" his stuttering made me look at him.

Umiling ako, "No, work stuff. Marami kasing deadlines na kailangang i-meet. I was just dissecting the days on my head kung kaya ba namin."

He nodded his head but he doesn't look convinced. We sat in silence for a while. I was so lost in my thoughts trying to determine when is the right time to tell him when he broke the silence.

"Wifey, it's been 15 minutes since we arrive at hindi ka pa bumababa. Are you sure you're okay? Parang wala ka sa sarili mo. Are you sick?"

Aabutin niya pa lang ang noo ko para salatim pero agad akong umiwas. Hindi ko kayang may skin-to-skin contact.

"A-ayos lang ako. Umm..sige..Pasok na ako."

I hurriedly exited his car. Normally, he would tease me until I give in for a kiss. Pero ngayon parang hinayaan niya lang akong umalis.

Bumagal ang umaga dahil punong-puno ang isip ko. Pakiramdam ko nga nagkaka-migraine na ako sa kakaisip.

Is he mad at me?

Ayaw niya ba ang ginawa ko kanina?

Should I just call him? Or text him?

Is that the best way to tell him?

Napahilot ako sa sentido ko. I can't think straight. Nauubos enerhiya ko kakaisip sa aming dalawa ni Gio. I banged my head on my table and let out a heavy sigh.

Is falling in love really this hard?

Bakit parang hindi naman ganito nung kabataan ko?

I was running out of ideas on how to say the right thing on the right time when I suddenly thought of Deej. And Aldrin. And Cyn. And Cath.

That's it!

Sino ba ang magaling sa ganito kundi ang mga loka-loka 'yon!

I fished my phone out and noticed 2 texts from Gio. One from when he dropped me off and then the other one about an hour later.

Gio: I just want you to know (again, felt like I told you this before) that you can tell me anything.

Gio: Q called. Asked if she can have your number,  I told her I still have to ask you though. She's blabbering about an overdue 'girl's only' lunch date. On your approval, commander 😉