Decalcomania

pt4

Her presence seemed to buzz around me like a fly that you can never swat. Every word, movement and breath she performed seemed to infuriate me to no end. The anger churned within, hungry for destruction, and I know it's too much for me to handle. and for her? She wasn't bothered at all, talking nonstop about her life before coming here, she said something about her college, her friends and more things that I barely could catch. The fact that I was listening to her was bothering me, I had all my attention on her, her words and her motion. And I knew, it wasn't me who is fully focused, it was him, again, she was triggering him, he wanted to wake up, he wanted to take the light. It was this moment when I felt threatened.

Every word stung only fueling the fire that burned inside of me. Every phrase was like gasoline to it, my fists began to clench and my jaw rooted.

"Stop!!" I yelled, slamming my clenched fist on the wall, my body reacted by itself and I was now sitting up, our faces inches away.

"You better not dare and say one more word!" I gritted my teeth, burning rage hissed through my body like deadly poison, It was like a volcano erupting.

My hand found its way to the back of her head, grabbing her hair as tight as I could, and now, she was chained on the hands of Satan himself.

"Don't make a sound, stop breathing!" I muttered, "your existence is throttling me!"

My voice came out more aggressive and intense, the atmosphere was dry and fearful, and I was in control of everything, even her life.

Her large eyes widened at my sudden actions while the tears bottled up on the corners, her nose grew very red at the tip and seconds later a lone tear traced down her cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. she wept, tears streaming from her deep hazel eyes. if one listened intently and watched closely, one could hear small sniffs and see her face flashing red within seconds.

My grip on her hair slowly loosened when she suddenly started gasping for air in a way that seemed like she was choking. Her chest rose rapidly which meant that she was having trouble breathing.

I let go of her immediately and watched her breathing heavily, I didn't know what to do or even how I feel, I just froze.

She clutched her hands on my both arms, tightly holding onto me "Alvin, I can't breathe!" she said, and in no time, my hands pulled her into my embrace, tightly wrapping my arms around her waist, as her head resting on my broad shoulders. It wasn't me, I would never do that, I would never dare to hold someone so close to me like that, especially her.

I observed my body from afar, holding her warmly and patting her back gently. It was him, again, he woke up in her presence. Again, I was the one far behind, had no control over the body, after all, it is his body and not mine, but I'm the one who has been protecting it and him all these years, I can't let go of it now.

There he is, fully awake, taking control again, and here I am, observing from the deep inside. I watched him embracing her dearly on his arms while she calmed immediately at his touch, she was fine, steadily breathing again and gently wrapping her small arms around me or I must say him. his body tensed a little, I felt it, of course I would. His heart was racing, jogging and searching for something, something I hate, something I feel disgusted to even think about. He was searching for the light of hope in her touch. Again, there he is, doing the same mistake he did long time ago, ready to give himself to them. I said it before and I was right, he is too fragile, too weak and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry!" he whispered, and that's the moment when I wanted nothing but to keep him a sleep forever, why would he apologize to her? and for what? She deserved it, she deserves to learn her lesson. She is the one who invaded my personal space.