Decalcomania

pt3

  I smiled to myself and followed the lady officer back to my cell, stepped inside the cold dark room and sat on my bed, feeling the wave of loneliness hitting my body again, I was one more blow away from breaking. The jail cell is nothing but four walls and a mattress, everything grey. I wonder how long you'd have to spend in here to forget what a tree looks like or what freedom feels like. I hugged my knees and hid my face there, these walls cannot hold a prayer, nor a spirit. And so I call to the heavens, I promise all the good things I will do when I am released, just make sure to take care of Alvin no matter where he is.

I may sound odd but I really don't feel like leaving this place anymore, I'm getting used to being lonely, without him. I would rather spend the rest of my life here, living with the ghost of his memories and not go out there and live without him. Even though you turned every moment we spent together into a painful memory, sharp, and cut right through me every time I think about that time. Even the sweet good moments we had are now turned into a knife that kills my already broken heart. You pierced my soul, you made me skeptical about people and love. Others would have emotional scars, not me, I'm still bleeding because my heart is not healed and will never be healed. but you know, I really had never felt so alone, so lost, even when my parents left me, I was never so incapable of forming the smallest smile. And this was only the beginning, the beginning of the pain, the suffering and the endless Congo line of emotions that were in store for me.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, hours, days, weeks, and another month passed by, through these walls, stuck on those memories and chained in my own worries. I opened my eyes to the same atmosphere, same feeling of loneliness and pain, killing me.

"Wake up!" the officer said, "you have a visitor!"

I walked along with the officer towards the visiting room, sat on the chair and waited for whoever is that visitor to get in. my eyes traveled to the person standing next to me, Benjamin, my face lightened up a bit, hoping to hear good news from him about Alvin.

"You look pale!" he sat before me, "I know!"

"Anyways, have you heard the news?" he cheerfully spoke, "You are finally leaving this place!"

"Yes, I have heard!" I nonchalantly said, of course, I will be leaving this place tomorrow, he kept his promise and he could solve my case, with the help of Leyla and Professor.

"I also have something else to say!" his smiled disappeared, and that was something about Alvin, I knew, I could read it on his eyes and it wasn't a pleasant thing to say since the sparkle on his eyes vanished and his smile was suddenly replaced with a frown.

"Did you find him?" I said, a little bit loud, he nodded and my heart skipped a beat, "Where is he?" my voice shattered.

"He is alright, don't worry!" he started, "and he is with Amelia!" Benjamin's eyes looked anywhere except my eyes. Amelia? He left me and went to Amelia! The girl he had crush on when he was young?

"He turned his back on me and went to Amelia?" I laughed hysterically, "for the past two months I was here crying every single day for his sake and he was having fun with Amelia?" I couldn't stop my laughter, neither my hot tears, "he was right when he called me naïve!"

Benjamin was speechless, staring at me with nothing but pity on his eyes, "I'm sorry!" he mumbled,

"You don't have to be, I'm the one who should be sorry, sorry for myself!" I stopped laughing and released my tears, pathetically. "Did you talk to him? is he happy?" I asked

"Yes I talked to him. He seemed different, calmer and content!" he uttered

"Did he ask about me?" I whispered, and Benjamin stayed quiet, I chuckled at the fact that he didn't even ask about me, naïve Elyse. Of course he doesn't care, he never promised me of anything, he never he said he loved me, how did I even thought he does?

"Good for him!" I muttered, "I don't want to see his face when I come out tomorrow!"

I stood up and walked back to my cell, followed by the confused officer, my body was swinging left and right, dizziness, tiredness and pain, all over my body. How come I never realized that I was nothing but a helper, a friend maybe but never a lover, of course, he was mentally unstable, he thought of me as someone who would help him and get his out of the dark, I was more like his therapist, he never thought of me as someone he can actually love. And Amelia, she was his childhood crush, first love maybe.

I sat on the floor as soon as the officer locked the door, feeling my tears dripping on my hands, they felt cold, as cold as my soul...

One more step towards freedom, I weakly smiled and walked out of that hell, the sunlight kissed my face and the wind lightly brushed my hair, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation, feeling myself being charged again with life, I opened my eyes again and my eyeballs fell on each one of them, Professor and Sophia, Benjamin and his family, Alexander and Olivia, and lastly, Leyla and Stephan. They were all waiting for me, and it warmed my heart, seeing the joy and excitement to see me, I appreciated the love they were giving me with no condition, though I had a little hope that he will come and see me too but he didn't...

"Elyse!" Noah shouted and ran to my arms, wrapping them around my body tightly, I lifted him in my arms and flipped him around "I missed you!" I whispered and he giggled, the sound of his giggle erased all my pain, like a spell.

"We were waiting for you!" he kissed my cheek fondly and I walked towards them, smiling warmly at the people in front of me.

After few minutes of hugs and welcomes, we hopped inside the cars and drove to Sophia's house, as far as I heard, they were planning for a party, a coming back party. I sat on the backseat along with Alexander and Olivia, while Professor drove the car and Sophia had the passenger seat, next to her soon to be husband. None of them mentioned him, none of them said anything about him, for a moment I felt like he never existed, like he was just a fraction in my head, or he wasn't even real in the first place.

We parked next to a lovely house, gorgeously structured and made, good choice by Sophia. We entered the warm house, one by one, they were all familiar with it while I just awkwardly walked in, glancing at every detail, from the hallway to the living room, the kitchen and the stairs that leads the upper rooms, everything was neatly made and clean. "You will be staying here with me until you get your life back to the track!" Sophia announced.

I sat on the sofa and shook my head "No, I think I will just go back to my apartment, I don't want to trouble you with me!" I honestly spoke, I had enough of hiding in people's houses, I wanted to go back to my old life, "and before I leave to Vienna, I need to visit my parents, and the house that used to be my home, I think it is time for me to bury everything in this city and go back to my life!" I smiled, that was the moment when I had to bury my pain, the memories and the nightmares of that night, I had to see the house again and face my fears.

"I also need to find a job!" I chuckled, thinking how difficult things will be for me in the coming days, I have got to fight along from now on.

"You are here!" the anonymous voice interrupted us, the girl walked out of the kitchen, and it took me few second to realize that it was Amelia, my eyes widened at the realization and I could feel my heart throbbing at the thought of him being here too, I looked around eagerly, but he was nowhere to be found. The girl smirked when she saw my reaction "Alvin is not here!" she said

"He wanted to stay home!" she arrogantly informed and I rolled my eyes, feeling my chest grasped and tightened. "Where is my room?" I faked a smile and Sophia pointed upstairs "The one on your left!"

I nodded and floundered on the stairs, heading to the room, I couldn't wait to arrive there and lock myself inside, cry my eyes out, until there will be no more tears to release.

The way she confidently talked about him, like she knew him, better than I do.