If only (trans reader x Peter parker)

(24)

I stood there, paralyzed. "Peter." I mumbled. "Please, I can't afford to lose you. Don't ever, ever jump." He said, the look of concern on his face was genuine. 'Peter knows it's me.' I thought. I pulled off my mask slowly. "Peter, I'm so sorry." I said, forcing him into a hug. "You need to get home. I'll take you." He said. "I kinda, snuck out." I said. "I'll swing you to your window." He replied. I grabbed my mask and pulled it back on. Peter grabbed me by the waist. "Hang on tight." He said, pulling his mask on and swinging from building to building. I kept almost slipping, it was terrifying. He got me up to my window and I hugged him goodbye as he left. I got in my window and closed it, walking off to get changed. I changed out of my suit and into my binder, some black jeans and a flannel. I was still processing things. I really had a crush on peter parker, that dorky son of a bitch.

I refused to accept it, even though it was the truth. I walked into the kitchen and started running the cold water, splashing my face. Maybe I had just imagined it. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, wiping my face on my sleeve. "What's up kid?" Sam asked. I wasn't entirely sure why he was here, probably a meeting or something. "Just got some stuff on my mind." I said, taking a sip from my glass. "You wanna talk about it?" He offered. "Kind of, yeah." I said, sitting down at the bench with him. "I think I have a crush on my best friend." I said. He raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Which one? Michelle? Ned?" He started listing. "Peter." I corrected. He raised his eyebrows again. "Stark won't be happy about that." He mumbled. "Hmm?" I asked. "Oh, nothing. Look, follow your heart. If he's into it, go with it." He said, standing up and walking off.

"Follow my heart." I repeated. I sat there thinking for ages before I was interrupted by Steve. "Hey, we're going out for dinner, you coming?" He asked. "Umm, I'm alright." I replied. "You got something on your mind?" He asked, sitting down. "I'll explain later, you guys enjoy." I smiled, getting up and returning to my room. Peter. His name echoed around my head a million times. "I have a crush on my best friend, Peter Parker." I said aloud.  I still couldn't believe it. I walked into my bathroom to take a shower, not believing in the slightest what my mind was telling me. I took a good, long, boiling hot shower and got out. I combed my hair back, put my binder back on and got into some pajamas, a hoodie and some black and red pants.

I sat on my bed, pulled out my laptop and watched some movies. I was about to get up for some water when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I answered. "Hello?" I called. "Hey y/n, it's peter. We need to talk." He started. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, we really do." I replied, hoping for a positive outcome. "I like you y/n, like, like like you." He continued, waiting for me to reply. "Peter, I like you too, I'm just not ready for a relationship." I replied. "And I completely understand that. I felt bad about how we ended things earlier." He said. "So did I. I shouldn't have said that." I replied, getting up to walk around. "Peter, I really do like you and I hope you can believe that, it's just...I'm really not ready for a relationship. I don't want to make you suffer with my issues as much as I do." I said, pacing.

"Y/n, that's fine. I understand. But understand this, you would never be a bother to me. Ever." He replied. I blushed and smiled briefly. "Pete, are you sure? Because i really don't want to pin anything of mine on you." I replied, spinning around and onto my bed. "Y/n, it would be an honor to date you." He replied. I smiled and grabbed a suit from the spare room, getting dressed. "Peter, meet me in Times Square, soon. Bring your suit too, we might need it." I said, fixing my blazer and tie. "See you there." He replied, hanging up. I fixed my hair, put my phone in my pocket and left for Times Square.