If only (trans reader x Peter parker)

(38)

⚠️ trigger warning: self harm ⚠️

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it was killing me not seeing mr stark. peter working for him was a constant unhelpful reminder. my mental health the past week had really gone down the drain. i'd cut up my wrists pretty badly, i felt bad for may. she shouldn't have to deal with my crap but she was trying her best to help me. it was a long week of wearing hoodies in 90 degree weather and then long sleeved undershirts. i'd been binding every day for way longer than i should have been. it was just a really shit week. i'd been sitting alone at lunch, avoiding peter wherever i could because i knew he would try to check my wrists, just generally avoiding him around home too. i hadn't had the motivation to go out superheroing but i decided today i would get off my ass and get out. i left school and ran out into an alleyway, getting changed into my suit.
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t i m e  s k i p

i got home after patrol, getting out of my suit and creeping into peter and i's room. ned was sitting there on the bed. "hey ned." i smiled, sitting down on the bed with him. he was holding a lego death star. "dude that looks sick." i smiled, inspecting it closer. i heard something outside and checked the window. i saw peter, about to sneak in and shook my head, making an 'x' shape with my arms and pointing to the bed. he nodded and started to open the window. i opened it the rest of the way and motioned to the bed. peter looked in and saw ned, nodding and crawling onto the roof. "hey ned, peter just texted, he won't be home for a while." i said. he nodded, going to leave the room and turning around to say something. he saw peter and dropped the death star, i watched it smash. "what was that?" may called. "nothing!" i yelled.

Peter threw on a sweatshirt and pants before may came into the room. "You alright?" She asked. "Yeah, everything's good. We just dropped the Death Star." I smiled. She nodded, leaving and closing the door behind her. "She doesn't know?" He asked. "Nobody knows! I mean I know and mr stark knows but-" I trailed. "Tony Stark!" Ned squealed. "Shush!" I said, putting my hand over his mouth. "Nobody can know ned." I replied as he nodded. "You should go, I'll drop the Death Star pieces off tomorrow." I said, pushing him out the door. "Jesus." Peter sighed, smacking his head into the wall. "Hey, come here." I said, pulling him into a hug. He was so much taller than me. "I'm really sorry. I missed us." I said, pulling his face towards mine as I smiled, kissing his cheek. "I missed us too." He smiled, picking me up and putting me down on his bed before leaving small hickeys trailing down my neck. "Oh come here." I smiled, pulling him into a kiss. "Let's Go get food." He smiled, getting up.

A/n:
Hey everyone, this story just keeps growing and as much as I love that it is very overwhelming! I'm doing my best but shorter chapters like this might become a more regular thing for a little while until I get back into the marvel mood. Sorry again, love you bugs xx