Fire on Fire ~TaeJin~

chapter 26: Jjangu

Moving in with Seokjin was surly one of the best desicions that Taehyung ever made. Waking up with feather kisses all over his face every morning, sleeping in the warm, tight embrace of Seokjin. Being so close to Seokjin all over the day. They were inseparable and Taehyung loved it. Accept the time he had classes, they were always together. Thanks to heavens they were working in the same place. Taehyung was almost full filling his dreams he had when he was a young teenager. He is a known, professional  painter now.  He found love and was blissful enough to have love. Taehyung didn't dreamt more than this accept one tiny detail. Taehyung never had high expectations, his grandmother taught him to be happy with eveyone little thing. So Taehyung enjoyed and loved in every reason he got. Now after moving in with Seokjin and getting rid of the rents, Taehyung could save more. He wanted to save his money to own a pet. He always loved animals specially home pets which he could take care of them. Though he never had the opportunity to own them. Now he wanted it. But he knew before everything he has to talk to Seokjin. They were living in the same place. They had to decide mutually about everything evolved any of them. He tried to open subject many times, many many times but always Seokjin changed the subject elaborately. Taehyung didn't know why. Whenever he asked Seokjin the older didn't responded. Taehyung wanted to know but Seokjin wasn't letting him. Sometimes Taehyung would get really mad because he had to know Seokjin's past yet Seokjin was too good in playing dumb about it. Taehyung knew Seokjin loved animals as well. Some weekends when he had time he would donate some animal foods to Street cats and dogs. So Taehyung knew the problem wasn't Seokjin disliking animals. He didn't want to ask Yoongi or Hoseok. They've told him enough. It was time for Seokjin. To show courage and open up.
It was a cozy evening. Taehyung's head was on Seokjin's lap. Seokjin was playing with his hair while his eyes were focused on TV. Taehyung didn't cared about TV, the whole time he was looking up to Seokjin. All over again and again. He traced how long he watched Seokjin until the older man looked down.

"What's that baby?" Seokjin asked with a bright smile.

"Nothing, I just love you" Taehyung said with a sigh. Seokjin was too much for him.

"I love you too" Seokjin answered with a kiss on the boy's forehead.

"Then why not a pet...." Taehyung said but stopped with Seokjin's stern eyes.

"You should tell me what is your reason Jinnie hyung" Taehyung whined. Seokjin looked at him emotionless. Taehyung hated this look so much.

"I don't like talking about it" Seokjin said with a sigh. He turned his gaze toward TV again.

"Jin... we are together now... I told you everything.... anything about my past. I tell you everything that happened to me through out the day. Bad or good but I tell it to you. Do you know why I tell? Because this is what couples most importantly lovers do" Taehyung said. He loved Seokjin so much but his introvertness was driving him crazy sometimes. Seokjin stared at him deeply for a long time. Taehyung stayed silent.

"When my TaeTae became so wise in relationship stuff?" Seokjin joked while caressing Taehyung's cheek. The boy leaned into the touch. He closed his eyes.

"I just want you to release yourself from the cage you've made for yourself" Taehyung whispered with a sigh. " Everything is perfect. My life never was this happy before but hyung, your past is a shadow for us. Your past stops us from getting more close" Taehyung continued. It was first time he complained about it. Once Seokjin promised to talk to him but he never did. Seokjin sighed.

"Lots of things happened that I can't talk about them right now, I'm not ready to.... Taehyungie listen to me, please" Seokjin said shakily.

"I always waited to listen hyungie" Taehyung said. Seokjin didn't start talking yet his face was unbearably pale.

"I.... I.... my father bought me a.... dog for my fourteenth birthday. It was a young fluffy dog.... I named him Jjangu... he was my friend.... me, Namjoon and Jjangu used to play together. I used to sleep with him every night. I used to feed him every morning." Seokjin said he sighed painfully. Eyes watery, face pale, his bottom lips was trembling a bit. Taehyung was regreting for forcing Seokjin to talk.

"We were together since my fourteenth birthday. But.... but.... I was in collage.... he used to live with me even after moving out of my parents..... he was old now.... one day..." Seokjin stopped. A tear slid down his face. Tears followed the other. Taehyung's heart was exploding by pain in Seokjin's face. He weeped them away with his hands. And kissed the trace of tears.

"It's okay.... it's okay baby... don't say more. I got it..." Taehyung said, his eyes was holding tears too. The strongest man he has ever seen was showing him his most vulnerable side. He was crying. It was the most painful thing happened to Taehyung.

"I was devastated those times.... I had problems going on.... one day.... one day I came back to home from collage.... I found him.... I found him dead.... Taehyung he was dead lying on his bed... I relied on him... he was calming me through any problem I had.... he died and left me alone...." Seokjin sobbed. Taehyung couldn't fight and cried as well. He teared silently while embracing sobbing Seokjin. Seokjin cried his heart out. It was painful. Taehyung knew it must be hard. So so hard. To lose someone you rely... he lost his grandmother... he was down for so long because of the loss. Jjangu for sure was Seokjin's sweetheart. Taehyung cried silently. That's why Seokjin rejected talking about animals. He was afraid to lose them again.

"Seokjin look at me, please" Taehyung whispered when Seokjin calmed down a bit. The older man looked at him with a baby puffy face.

"You lost Jjangu painfully, but his memories will always be with you" Taehyung said.

"I know" Seokjin said. " But I don't want to suffer anymore. His loss was enough for me. I can't risk again and get hurt." Seokjin said with some tears rolling down his face.

"I will die one day too" Taehyung said. He blamed himself for sounding this much harshly. Seokjin looked at him, tears rolled down his face. Taehyung blamed himself more.

"I will die too Seokjin. Because you don't want to suffer would you give up on me? Let me go cause you don't want to suffer when I died?" Taehyung asked

"Never" Seokjin pleaded.

"Pets are same too. They come in to your life and bring joy to you but will go to. You're refusing to get this joy because you don't want to suffer if one day they died?" Taehyung asked.

"I just don't want to hurt anymore" Seokjin whispered. Taehyung fought too much to hold his tears.

"Let me soothe your pain, let me cure your hurt hyungie" Taehyung pleaded.

"You're already my cure Taehyung" Seokjin said.

"Then let's have pets... let them help you forget Jjangu's loss. He will never be forgotten but other pets can soothe the pain, trust me Jinnie" Taehyung said.

Three days later Taehyung and Seokjin came back home with Yeontan, Odengie and Eomukie. Both Seokjin and Taehyung couldn't be more grateful thanks this.

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I can't believe I cried while writing this chapter. Pet death was always a hard stuff for me. I lost my first dog when I was 13 and it was really painful for me. Though owning new pets really help you recovering.
Hope you liked this chapter and enjoyed as well. Sorry if it triggered or saddened you.
Luv you all💜💜