Bind Me To You

Chapter Thirty-Four

It felt like an eternity.

Azrael's thumb had moved away, and he had placed his hand on her shoulder. Short wavering breaths escaped Avery as she waited to feel soft skin press to her lips. Then she felt it, Azrael's warm breath against her right ear as he spoke, "We can't do this".

Avery's eye's fluttered open, the butterflies in her stomach quickly turning hollow, and the heat of her body rapidly dispersing.

Azrael hovered by her ear for a brief moment, his faltering breath brushing her skin before he took a step away from Avery, letting go of her.

Avery had fallen into a state of deep shock and embarrassment. Why hadn't he kissed her? Had she imagined everything? Had she just embarrassed herself by puckering her lips? Was she the only one who had just felt that rush of heat throughout her body?

Azrael pursed his lips, forcing his eye back towards Avery who stared at him wordlessly. He wanted to say something to her, explain that he wanted to kiss her but that he couldn't bring himself to do it. Tell her that taking this relationship any further would do nothing but bring her pain and misery.

His head and heart were divided. Part of him wanted nothing more than to fulfil her intimate dream; it was all that he had thought about for the entirety of the night, but the other part, the more sensible part, knew that letting this get out of hand would ruin Avery. He had done many things wrong already, he didn't want to add kissing her to that list.

"I'm sorry" Azrael muttered, his eyes quickly returning to the floor so that he could avoid Avery's unrelenting gaze.

Avery couldn't find any words. It's okay... I'm sorry too... But why... why didn't you kiss me? Her thoughts and feelings had become all muddled together and were getting caught in her throat as she watched him. It was clear to her that he regretted the whole thing, he couldn't even bring his eyes to meet hers.

Azrael reached up to scratch the back of his head in vexation, "We should get back to the party".

Avery could do nothing but give a small nod as Azrael side stepped her and began towards the door. No, I don't want to let him leave like this.

The sound of the music and chatting party goers became much louder when the door to the room had been opened, it was only then that Avery gritted her teeth and turned on her heel, intending to ask him why, but it was too late;

Azrael had already disappeared.

_____

Avery had become much more sober after everything that had happened, and so the mixed feelings of longing and embarrassment made her stomach feel empty and her chest void.

After spending several minutes staring at the empty doorway attempting to comprehend everything that had happened, Avery suddenly remembered why she had left Sadie to begin with.

It only took her a few moments to find a toilet upstairs. As Avery stepped up to the sink, turning on the tap, she had a moment to glance herself in the mirror. She was glad that none of her makeup had run after her almost-cry, the girl that looked back at her in the mirror still looked so pretty, yet Avery frowned, a sense of deep disappointing clouding her eyes.

She hadn't noticed it before now. Not when she had that intimate dream, not when she had laid her head against his lap the other night, not even when he had taken her hand earlier that night, sending her chest into a fit of pounding. It wasn't until now that she realised just how much she wanted Azrael; to hold her and protect her. But why? She bit her lip in irritation, why do I want those things?