Bind Me To You

Chapter Thirty-Six

Avery felt a guilty pang in her chest as she watched the dark-haired demon stare back at her. Azrael's crimson gaze held no note of anger anymore, instead, he seemed to look straight through her with empty indifference.

Avery could feel her chest tightening in knots as she curled her fingers into fists, and forced her eyes away from him in the hope that the unpleasant feeling of contrition would disappear. She would have rather let him yell at her over the way he was acting now. At least then she could tell what he was thinking.

Avery took a wobbly step back from the car, still gripping the very corner of the door. Her intention was to ask Azrael to help her up to her bedroom so that she wouldn't have to tackle the flight of stairs by herself but the look Azrael had given her was making her think better of it.

She took a sharp breath and glanced back over to Azrael who still stared at her with those same emotionless eyes.

"Uhh... nevermind, I'll umm... Thank you for the ride..." Avery murmured, giving Azrael a goodnight nod and closing the door slowly. She thought that he would at least say goodnight, but even as she hesitated to close the door he still held his silence.

With a soft thud, Avery took an unsteady step back and let her eyes drop to the grass below her.

I really really messed up, didn't I? He really does hate me now doesn't he? Perhaps it was the alcohol, but she could feel her eyes beginning to get teary and she raised her hand to her face, quickly wiping away the single tear that had escaped.

That was when she felt that familiar cold breath of wind blow through her and she raised her head, turning slowly to find Azrael standing behind her.

"You can barely walk on your own, let me take you upstairs," he whispered.

Avery felt her heart skip at his words. His crimson gaze was now filled with some kind of emotion, but it wasn't forgiveness, instead, he looked almost pained.

Avery couldn't bring herself to respond with words and instead just nodded her head slowly. She felt as though the moment she was forced to speak, everything that she was thinking; that she was feeling, would all pour out at once.

Azrael took a step towards Avery and reached out his hand for hers. It was only when Azrael's hand came within an inch of Avery's that his fingers curled together and his eyes flickered back to Avery's.

"You still haven't given me permission to touch you," he explained.

Avery tried to swallow the tears threatening to pool in her eyes, "Y-You can touch me... again."

She couldn't help but let a little sob escape during her sentence. That's all that was needed for the tears to begin flowing heavily, streaking through the makeup that Sadie had spent so much time doing earlier that night.

Avery brought her free hand to her face, trying to muffle her sobs and sniffs. She was sure that if it wasn't for the alcohol she wouldn't have gotten so emotional over the fact that she thought Azrael was angry at her. Now that she had started though, she couldn't stop.

Azrael watched the blonde appraisingly for a moment, before he took a deep breath and stepped towards the sniffling blonde.

Avery let a short gasp escape her as she felt one of Azrael's arms curl around her waist, the other around her knees as he lifted her into the air.

Avery had instinctively grasped onto the leather covering his bicep with her left hand, the right gripping the black fabric at his chest. Her heart had skipped another beat the moment that her feet had left the ground.

Maybe it was the heat that radiated from his body or perhaps instead it was the soft beat of Azrael's heart against her knuckles, but something about being in Azrael's arms stopped the tears from flowing and filled Avery's chest with comfort.

Azrael turned, beginning towards the house wordlessly as Avery attempted to calm her shaky breaths.

Eyes now pink and puffy, Avery turned to look up at Azrael. Her vision was still a little hazy from the amount of alcohol she drank but even so, if she focused hard enough, she could study each of his features.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to the deep red that set his eye ablaze. Her gaze travelled the length of Azrael's jawline, finding its way to the soft lips that she had almost kissed.

She still wondered why he hadn't kissed her back then. The way that he had pressed his fingertips to her skin, had gazed down into her eyes with such longing, the way he had brought his lips within an inch of her own. Why? Why had he done all of those things if he didn't want to kiss her?

Azrael had managed to make it through the front door, locking it behind him and was now ascending the stairs. His grip was gentle but steady and with each movement, she would feel his chest moving against her side.

I should ask him. There is no reason why I shouldn't ask him. Avery thought, her fingers gripping his shirt tighter. Wait! Wait... maybe this is a bad idea... the alcohol its... But Avery's thoughts trailed off as Azrael came to Avery's bedroom door and pushed it open.

He left the door open as he strode towards the bed. Avery's fingers curled tighter into the fabric of Azrael's shirt as he bent to place her on the bed, not because she was worried to fall, but because she wasn't ready for him to leave.

Azrael's arms slid from around Avery's waist and legs as he laid her body on the bed and Azrael raised his hand to grasp Avery's fingers still holding onto him so tightly. He tugged her hand, expecting it to simply fall away from his chest, but Avery's grip only tightened in defiance.

Azrael took a deep breath, his eyes trailing up Avery's arm and to her face. Even if he couldn't read her mind, her eyes would have given everything away. She looked at him with a burning desire.

Azrael took a seat on the bed beside her, his hand still holding hers to his chest.

She needed to know why, and Azrael knew that he would have to tell her eventually. Maybe then she could let it go.

Avery parted her lips to speak first but Azrael was quick to cut her off, "I am a demon, Avery," he reminded her in a whisper.

"The more attached you become to me, the worse off you will be. I shouldn't have let myself get this close to you to begin with. Letting this become anything more is a mistake".

Avery gazed up at Azrael, her lips pressing into a line as she studied him. You were the one who pulled me close, you were the one that caressed my cheek so gently, you were the one that tilted my chin up to meet yours... are you telling me that you didn't want to kiss me? Are you telling me that you didn't feel anything?

Azrael's lips parted and his eyes shot away from Avery's for a moment as he tried to think of how to answer such questions.

"I..." He began, his fingers tightening around her own, "I... I can't answer those questions."

Avery felt her heart sink into her chest at his answer, but she bit her lip and continued.

Please... please tell me.

Azrael tugged at Avery's hand, this time with much more strength, and managed to pull her grip from his shirt. He placed her hand on the bed and stood, taking a few steps towards the door.

Azrael could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He had made a promise to himself on the trip here that he would not let their relationship become anything more but here she was, begging him to confess his longing to kiss her. It was so selfish of him, all of this was selfish. Everything from having her sign the contract to wanting to kiss her is selfish. I know it so why do I...

He turned back to her, the same pained look in his eye.

"I..." He began, only to be cut off by Avery's whispered voice.

"If you wanted to kiss me at the party, then kiss me. That's... That's an order...".