ETHEREAL | OUTSIDERS

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

♪ : coffee breath — neoflesh

❝ i don't even like coffee. ❞

I SET MY drink down on my table, and set down my backpack on the floor. Sitting down, I took a sip of my drink and took out my notebook and a pencil. Nothing came to my mind, which was odd. I usually came to this café because I focus better here, not because of the drinks. To be honest, I don't even like coffee. My drink is black tea and milk mixed together, but ordered hot today because it's raining. Trying to use the faint chatter and the beating of the rain as white noise, my focus still did not improve.

"What do I do?" I groaned, holding out the 'o' at the end of my sentence.

Writing essays came easy to me, but this topic was difficult. The topic was, what's the best thing that's happened to you? Now, I'm not some kind of depressed teen, but I definitely don't have highlights in my life. My childhood was bland and boring, didn't have anything eventful to it.

——

After sitting in the café for about an hour, I got up, about to go home. Throwing my drink away, putting my notebook in my backpack, and pulling out an umbrella; the door chimed as my footsteps made their way down the sidewalk of the café. Every time I walk almost anywhere, I always pass by the neighborhood full of greasers. I'm not a greaser, but not a soc. Middle class, I guess. I definitely did not like soc's though, greasers were more my type of crowd, and I acted more like a greaser than a soc.

'one, two, three, four.' I counted my steps on the way from the café to my house. Soon, my train of thought went off the tracks because I had heard someone say something.

"Hey cut it out, Dal." said a faint, male voice. I looked to my left, seeing about four people in a lot. They seemed to have the time of their life, playing out in the rain. I unintentionally smiled, to see them so happy.

Must be a nice crowd to hang out with, or to have a crowd to be in, I thought. It's not that i didn't have friends, I had Annie. Annie has been my friend since grade school. The downside is that she's my only friend, even in grade school. Maybe it was just because she talked to me first, otherwise I might still not have friends.

As I stepped into my house, I was greeted by my mom at the door.

"Hey El, where were you?" My mom was pretty chill about me being out, I just needed to tell her where I'd be, and I forgot to today.

"Oh, sorry I was at the café doing homework." I said curtly, sitting at the counter.

"It's fine, just tell me next time. I'm going to go get ready to sleep. Don't stay up too late hun." she said, sliding a plate of fruit to me.

I nodded and ate the fruit, then drank some water. I walked up the stairs and got ready for bed. After I changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The thought of school made me groan, I hated it. I have only two out of six classes with Annie, and the rest are with strangers. I have mainly soc's in my class, except a few, who I don't know. I'm not even supposed to be in that class, I skipped a grade, surprisingly. I never think of myself as smart, but I guess my mom would consider me smart.

My mom is the sweetest, well, she can be. She's laidback but also cares about me. I always saw her with a happy persona, especially since my dad left. I never really had i'm present in my life, since he was always out. He cheated on my mom, then left us. Later, we found out that he committed suicide, which tore my heart. I never grew a relationship with him, or got to visit him ever since he left.

Ever since my father had died, my mother had gotten into drinking, and later became an alcoholic. She had hit me one time while she was drunk, then the next morning she promised that she would never do it again. Since then, I haven't seen a shot glass of alcohol in her hand, or even in the house.

I turned to my side, and closed my eyes. I thought of how I wanted more friends, and mainly what I didn't have. Slowly but surely, I fell asleep.