Bucky: *inserts picture of freakish bear cookie jar*
Bucky: IT WATCHES YOU GET WAFFLES AT 3AM. WHAT'S YOUR RESPONSE:
>smash it
>*insert screaming here*
>retreat
Sam: Bucky, I don't get up in the middle of the fucking night like you do. It's just a bear.
Bucky: Do you have any idea how fucking terrifying it is to march into the kitchen at 3 am for waffles and see this staring at you in your peripheral vision? I hate it so fucking much.
Sam: I don't get it. It's just a bear.
Bucky: I have learned to respect the slenderbear.
Sam: is that supposed to be a variation of slenderman?
Bucky: duh, ya little fuck.
Sam: do I need to get Steve?
Bucky: do you not understand that his potty mouth is so much worse than mine and that I scare him a little bit?
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Oneshots
Hayran KurguYou know what? This is gonna be kinda random. It's gonna be unrequited love (sorry), breakups (again-sorry), soulmate AUs, fluff, smut, and a little polyamory with normal pairings and gay pairings and everything in between that I can manage.
