Domestic Avengers!

IronDad and Spider-Teen

Spider-Baby has evolved into Spider-Teen! Congratulations!

Pets.

Tony was very straight forward with Peter. You go to school. You get good grades. You get rewards. Those were the rules, outside of that Peter was pretty much free. Maybe too free.

About an hour ago is a good example.

Peter had gotten bit by that spider maybe like 9 months ago. And so far they knew that Peter could lift 10+ tons. So when Peter came in to the compound carrying an elephant, the fact that he was able t lift the elephant wasn't surprising. 

It was the fact that Peter had found an elephant and had brought it to the compound that surprised Tony. 

Where the fuck do you get an elephant in upstate New York? Unless Peter had robbed a zoo. But Tony didn't want to think of that possibility just yet.

"This is my new pet." Peter said proudly, turning around with the elephant in his arms. He almost dropped a new missle launcher that Tony was working on. Tony paled as he watched the explosive device shake on the edge of the table, "Her name is Sitka, like from Batman."

"Okay, cool, cool, cool, okay, okay," Tony moved carefully and snatched the explosive missle launcher away. Maybe Tony should add some new rules.

Procrastination

Peter was a smart kid and Tony knew it. Well, smart was an understatement and an over statement. His kid was a genius and an utter dumbass at the same time. Peter could have graduated college by now. But the kid was also a bit lazy when it came to homework.

Now Tony couldn't really say anything to Peter on the topic considering how lazy he used to be in school, even if he did graduate early.

Peter walked into the kitchen after getting home from school, his backpack was still sung over his shoulder.

"Hey kid, so I was talking to Nat and she said she would go on patrol with you if you get ready fast enough."

Peter had dropped his backpack and sprinted up the stairs so fast Tony hadn't seen it happen, but now as he looked back to where Peter was standing he saw a giant crater where his son's backpack lay.

After a bit of struggling, Tony managed to undo the zipper. The damn back pack was filled to the brim with concrete! Concrete! What the hell was wrong with his kid!?

Tony had only one thing to say about this incident, "What. The. Fuck."

Weird Teenage Metaphor Thingies

"Peter, kid, come here." Tony said as he wrote down some notes for a new and improved version of the spider suit.

"What's up dad?" Peter asked.

"You can lift up to ten thousand kilograms, right?" Tony asked, he received a small nod and a quiet 'yup'. "So that means you can lift about--"

"Enough to lift the weight of my sins? Yes, yes it is." Peter said with a curt nod, probably thinking of his Tamagotchi or something.

Tony was so confused you could practically see three bouncing question marks appearing above his head.

Bonus:

"What is this child doing on the battle field?" Thor asked. The older heroes agreeing with him as they looked at the red and blue clad teenager.

"Yeah Tony, why did you bring this 12 year old into this?" Steve asked.

Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, he pointed to his left where Peter and Hulk were. Peter got Hulk by the ankle and threw him at the on coming fleet of on coming aliens at about 700 mph while he shouted, "ANGERY SHREK ATTACK!"

"Well then, neverminded, he is a fine young lad." Thor said.

A/N: I know its really weird. If you don't like it then sue me!

Bye peeps LOVE YOU ALL HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Cyn